Blub Blub BLub
Pooling - swarming - rising above my chest
A buzz of a fan - the crinkled whispers of leaves
Fade off and drown into static.
What else is there? Why do I have to stay?
Can’t I leave? Can’t I go?
What is keeping me here, but you?
Hypocrite! Salty air on your tongue.
Theres nothing you can do now.
It’s at my nose.

Sometimes the world seems
Like it wants to
Envelope
In a different haze of purple
Im drowning in this atmosphere
Come get me
Come get me
Before I die
Before I die

I could turn this into a song
But my bones are too brittle
They can’t
Stand to mess this up
Come get me
Come get me
Before I die
Before I die

Stardust after dark, pooling under me.
Filling, spreading, rising to my tattered jeans.
Blue stains falling off my hips.
Fire streaks dart to my veins. It’s in my blood now.
You’re in my blood. Don’t go- now that I’m addicted.
You ******, don’t go.

Sell my body. Photos. Fleeting hands.
For your attention. For your love.
Do you want this? You’re buying it.
Bile rises. Snap. Fingers go numb. Snap.
I dont want this. Would you love me
Without? If I was a cloud. A vapor.
Would you still be here?
Do you even want this? What do you want?

are you listening to my muttered cries?
questions spilling from my brain like an oil leak.
can you give me an answer? stardust from your lips.
I want to know you. do you know me?
feel my life draining. heels digging in the dirt.
this is it, my love. don't worry anymore. I love you.

Is it something that I know or thoughts from elsewhere?
Im falling farther, farther, farther. Where am I?
It’s 2008, again. Looking in from a grainy lens, it’s real.
Why when the pixels align it’s so blurry?

I’m going insane. That same little girl couldn’t relate
To this- to me. Who is me? Is it her or something else,
A festering monster swept in by harrowing riptides?
This is it. Sewage for brains, trash bags for lungs.
She couldn’t relate to this.

I’m here. I am. Am I?
It’s nothing. It’s everything.
Where are you? Spinning with everyone else.
Spinning, spinning, spinning
Around the cosmos.
It’s nothing. It’s everything.
Take. Give. Stay in place.
A nihilistic mural to a golden globe.
so rare, so expensive, so lusted.
The dog found some in the backyard.
It’s nothing. It’s everything.
I’m here...