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Samantha Steele Nov 2013
with every exhale
she weaves a lie
the truth clouded
by the smoke in her lungs
and the smile
on her porcelain skin
Samantha Steele Oct 2013
I like to drink a lot in the winter
'cause then I don't notice
the biting cold at my cheeks
or at my heart
Samantha Steele Oct 2013
I have this crippling
need
to prefect everything
to be flawless in the eyes of
others
and the smoke and mirrors work
on everyone else
but myself
because I see every. *******. Thing.
I obsess
obsess
obsess
until I crack and bleed
until my heart is raw
and no amount of sleep
can get rid of this heavy feeling
of failure
failure
failure
and I know everyone is looking
and pointing out
every single
flaw
flaw
flaw
I will cave into myself
and fall away
away
away
I will fall
into my
brain.
Dealing with OCD.
Samantha Steele Oct 2013
I think that being lonely
is one of the worst things
a human can experience
because it feels so final
than everything you've ever felt
before
Samantha Steele Oct 2013
we laid down together
and you asked me about the stories
behind my scars
and I told you about all the times I fell
and how I got that one on my shin
and the one on my chest
but when you got to some scars
I just shook my head and smiled and said
"maybe ill tell you one day"
but I don't plan on ever telling you
about the cluster of scars
on my thighs
or my wrists
because I may be a book
but those are stories I don't ever want to tell
Samantha Steele Oct 2013
if I say i'm
unlovable
don't say to me
"But I love you,
isn't that enough?"
because honestly it's not
I say i'm unlovable
because I can't even
love myself
so how can others?
Samantha Steele Oct 2013
you hold her
and not me anymore

you see her back arched
and not mine

you feel her skin against yours
and forget what I feel like

but its okay
its not like I loved you
because I didnt

I just thought that maybe
in this world

you could be the one to trust
out of every other human there is
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