You spend all you're time cleaning you're razors and knifes
But for what?
To let the wound sit there and fester
To pick at the healing skin
To let it get infected
And the days go by slowly and the wounds healing at a sloths pace
Some leave thin white lines behind
Others red angry raised marks
And I know you lie on your bed looking at each and everyone of them

Ha, love. I don't even know what it is anymore.
He thought he did for the longest time.
He knows,
Knows that he can make me feel good
Where others have hurt me
He will hold no convictions or judgment
In exchange for the same
I can agree to that
One of these days he says
Just let me come show you a good time
Unlike I've ever experienced
Because I know I need it
But
BUT
Maybe you need it more than I do

Ruined ruined ruined
Im ruined
My heart can't feel it
Can't express it
Because I'm
Ruined ruined ruined
I let you down
Its all my fault
Because I let my walls down
And now I'm
Ruined ruined ruined

When I pleasure myself
And I think of you
You going hard and fast
Being merciless
My thighs begin to tremble
I grasp at nothing
I get louder
My chest heaves
And my back arches
And im raking my nails down your back drawing blood
And I think you like it
And that it spurs you on
Faster and harder
And im trapped underneath you're body
And our moans fill the air
And I burst
And im coming down
And I rember that your not here
That there was no ***
And that it was all my imagination
And I just sigh and go to sleep
Wishing for something I can't have

My hands are shaking in anticapation
Just one cut
I get to see that sweet sweet blood
I just cut so deep
I saw the real me underneath
It feels so good

And she writes her story with blood,
Her blood.

And she crys
Shes screaming help me

But no one hears her pleas
Shes going insane

And no one can help her
shes off to her own demise.