Sigh

Light chatter around me
Im full of content

Smooth jazz
Wraps around my ears

I float back in time

Poetry Jams
Snapping fingers

Oh la la, content

The smell of Iron carresses my nose.
I undress.

Looking in the mirror.
Scars decorating my skin.

Others- Ugly.
Me- Beauty.

My eyes take in every inch of myself.
Is it ****** up to say I got turned on?

My eyes dart to the corner of the room.
There lays a lifeless body, bloodless.

My eyes dart to the bathtub.
Filled to the rim with crimmison.

Blood is boiling.

I walk accross the blood soaked floor,
leaving ****** footprints in my wake.

I pearch on the side of the tub.
Stick my toe into it.

A sigh and a shiver of pleasure escape me.
I emerse myself in to it.

I grin...

Razor teeth on display.
For my victoms who are forced to watch.

Bliss...

Im your first born,
Why wont you protect me mommy?

I did nothing to him,
But you just stand there and watch.

Dont you love me?
Protects his son,
But hurts your first born?

Thats ****** up mommy.

Deep down,
behind all this ****,
Im still the little girl you know.

Your supost to protect me.
But you aint mommy.
You *****!

Im hurtin,
But you cant even tell.

Your a ***** mommy!
I hate you mommy!
I hate hateing you mommy!

It makes me hurt inside.

The thing is with the monster,
Is you always want more.
At first a little.
Later, more.
The monster gives you that self-induced high.
It leavs you,
Craving for more.
You welcome the monster with open arms.
You wish deep in your mind,
That you could push it away.
But when you want to most,
The monster finds you.
You forget about not wanting it.
And you fly away,
In a self-induced high.

I dont know what to do
I am so confused
Everythings so fuzzy
Its all clouded up
My mind is spining
Its a whirlpool
Im high
Im low
Everythings so fuzzy
Im all clouded up
My vision is bluring
Everything is going so fast!
I cant keep up
I need that rush
That high
That low
Everythings so fuzzy
Im needing
Wanting
Craving
A high
A low.

My silent screams
Fall apon deaf ears
My face
Contorted in pain
A movie
Nonstop playing in my head
Haunted memories

I  laughf,
Crackle,
State of insinaty.
Wild in my eyes.
Unknown evil lurking,
Beanth the surface,
Of my life.
I rejoice at the sight.
Blood covering my hands,
My whole body.
I see my pray,
Im ready to pounce.
I need my wepon.
Grab the blade,
Attack the emotions.
Let them all die.
I smile a wicked one,
Now my job is done.
Emotions are now gone.
My sight is set,
And its oh. so clear,
Its around the corner,
Death is near.
Time ticks by,
Emotions run lose,
No use to catch them.
Ill be gone soon.