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Jun 2017 · 654
Ode to a Toadstool
S M Chen Jun 2017
She holds the cone
ever gently,
cradling the gift.
Exquisite thing,
delicate hands.
With wonderment
she considers
its strange beauty.

Maybe lethal,
but not to touch.
If this be thing
most deadly she
encounters she
will have been blest
with good fortune.

As what she holds
will transition
through life cycle,
she, too, will grow
and, with time, old.
Her dark tresses
will gray and thin.
Her skin, now smooth,
will furrow and
the now flawless
hands will deform.
Time has its way
with all things
by wintertime.

But it is spring.
Let us rejoice
in this moment
when youth prevails
and life is good.

*

And what of me
(I,  full of years)?

My heart melts.
Inspired by a photo that I cannot post.  It is a closeup of a little Asian girl who cradles a brown cone-shaped toadstool in her perfect little hands.  She gazes at it intently through almond eyes, a smile (a bit more than a Gioconda smile, but only a
little) on her pretty face.  Her black hair is more than shoulder-length, and partly hides the warm blue parka she wears.  She is at the edge of some woods in Canada.  It is springtime; the chill of winter is not yet past.
May 2017 · 275
Stones from the Water
S M Chen May 2017
A mountain of a man, I’d say,
Like the mountain on which he stood.
For forty days, two times a day
He dared to fight us if we would.

A freak of nature, if such be.
He stood six cubits and a span.
As sturdy as an oak was he;
More like a tree, it seemed, than man.

I recalled the lion and bear
That I’d pursued and smote to death.
Of danger I was well aware
But took my lamb and took their breath.

Our king did not want me to fight.
He said, “Thou art a youth, and he
Is man of war and man of might.
I fear for us; I fear for thee.”

But then relented and said, “Go
And God be with you.”  He then gave
Me armor that was his, and so
Perhaps he thought my life it'd save.

I put his helmet on my head
And donned the coat of mail of Saul.
But they didn't feel right, so instead
No armor would I wear at all.

I bent a knee; I flexed a hip.
I chose five stones from nearby brook.
I put them in my shepherd’s scrip,
In hand my staff and sling I took.

Did I feel fear?  I cannot say.
I don’t recall the way I felt.
I think it may have been this way:
With harder things I thought I’d dealt.

So toward the tree I quickly ran.
I was alone; but they were two.
Before Goliath was a man
Who bore a shield, as bearers do.

He seemed insulted by my youth.
He cursed behind the man of shield.
He said he’d feed me, this forsooth,
To birds of air and beasts of field.

Those words of his I couldn’t abide;
Within me something then awoke -
A righteous rage I could not hide.
I couldn’t contain myself; I spoke.

I don’t regret the words I said.
I told him then, I told him there
Whose carcass it would be that fed
The beasts of field and birds of air.

I went toward him and slid a stone
Into the pouch of trusty sling.
It was the fastest stone I’ve thrown;
I put my might behind the thing.

I said a prayer as I let fly
That God would guide the path stone took.
It landed just above his eye.
As he fell down, methinks earth shook.

The Philistines, their hero dead,
Put down their arms and ran away.
I knew that, even as they fled,
They'd live to fight another day.


I think back on that special day,
A day that dims in memory.
Though I grow old, I yet can say:
The Lord is good; O taste and see.
Apr 2017 · 247
Hard By 75
S M Chen Apr 2017
The good health that was visited on you
When you were young, and maybe from your birth,
Has made your life the richer, and your worth
Is measured by the things you love to do.

It seems that few of any age can keep
Up the daunting pace for yourself you’ve set.
Your energy exceeds that most have met
And so they watch, they marvel and they weep.

Whether it be on the slopes or maybe
Links, or ballroom floor, or choir of church,
You seem to find fulfillment in your search
For what it is that makes up destiny.

So, at this time, this very special time
When milestone passes, that won’t come again,
May of all things you have the best, and when
The day comes (and it will) you’re past your prime

Memories of a better time will keep
A Giaconda smile upon your face.
While your mind may be in another place,
May smile remain as you drift into sleep.
Apr 2017 · 254
Recipe for Disaster
S M Chen Apr 2017
“Learn from the mistakes of others.  You can’t live long enough to make them all yourself.”

-  Eleanor Roosevelt (1884-1962), longest serving FLOTUS



Start with one comely young man of great promise:
He rescues lamb from jaws of bear.
Rescues sheep from clutches of lion.  
Slays giant Philistine with stone and sling.  
Forms deep friendship with prince, son of king.  
Becomes king himself.
Marries daughter of prior king – a princess.

Add a heaping teaspoonful of lust of eye - perhaps both eyes.
Stir in ****** – more than a pinch (is ****** ever less than a pinch?)

Let simmer; boiling over may be unpreventable, even if *** is uncovered and fire is low.
Clean up overflow.
Rinse cleanup cloth, but keep handy; more cleanup may be needed later.
Replenish fire as needed.
Keep plenty of wood; this fire will burn awhile.

Let plot thicken.
No need for additive; it will thicken of own accord.
Add a dash of sleepless nights.



Do not taste; mixture is bitter.
If proof needed, insert fingertip (not more) into stew.
Run cool water over fingertip.
Avoid four-letter words.
Rinse mouth.
Resolve to believe recipe in future.

*

Protagonist is castigated by prophet.
Marries widow of innocent man killed in battle.
With multiple wives, has multiple children; never a good idea.

       *

Son of one wife grows up to, like his father (like father, like son?), succumb to temptation – for his half sister.
Despite her plea, he forces himself on her.
She grieves.

*

Remove lid; handle potholders with care.
Mix in half a cup of tears.
Probably no need for salt; tears may be salty enough.
Stir ever so gently.

*

Her brother learns of her grief, is determined to wreak vengeance upon perpetrator, his half brother.
Which he does at a subsequent banquet.
Blood flows, some into ***.

                               *

No need for yeast.  
This mixture has enough ingredients to rise on its own.
Also, no need for spice.

      


A comely man in his own right, avenger decides to usurp throne.
Once (and future) king flees.
In subsequent combat, usurper flees by mule.
His mane catches in low-hanging branches of an oak (every yang has its yin), and he is killed.
More blood is shed.

*

Blood is salty, and has a flavor all its own.
More will trickle into ***; it cannot be helped.

*

Add cup of gall.
Little to no stirring needed; gall will disperse on its own, and tends to dominate whatever it is commingled with.

*

The king has epiphany, writes psalms – 150 of them.
Despite all above, the Almighty calls king ‘a man after His own heart.’
‘Where sin doth abound, grace doth much more abound.’ – Rom. 5:20.

*

Cooking is done.
Extinguish the fire.
Let *** sit.

*

Contemplate follies of man.
‘What fools these mortals be’ -  Shakespeare, “A Midsummer Night’s Dream.”
“We have met the enemy, and he is us.” – Walt Kelly, ‘Pogo’ comic strip.

*

Final stew is less bitter, but also less sweet, than it might have been.
Once put in the *** of life, ingredients cannot be removed.
They can only be tempered by more ingredients.

Choose wisely.
Apr 2017 · 270
If Looks Could Kill
S M Chen Apr 2017
When does ire
become hate?
Or desire
something more,
which we late-
r may regret?
Might we abet
what we abhor?

That fine line
(not in sand nor red,
but in heart and head)
flutters, like vine
or leaf in breeze.
As a restive boat,
it may bob and float.
But we forget with ease.

         *

So can looks ****?
Not only as man
(but that, too),
I assure you
they sure can.
They may; they will.
Based on a broader interpretation of Commandments VI and VII.
S M Chen Feb 2017
An acquaintance knows Cantonese.
Once knew it like her Q's and P's.
Although it was her mother tongue
Some she forgot since she was young.

She doesn't now translate with ease.
For when she tries, her mind will seize.
Not only does blood pressure rise
(So much in fact it hits new highs),
But she finds her knees get weak
And a flush comes to her cheek.
She thinks, as she breaks into sweat,
'Is more to come?'  She knows not yet.
She wonders what could be the matter.
Has she gone mad, like the Hatter?

It might behoove to translate less.
Translating less should bring less stress.

For trying to translate Cantonese -
Who knew it'd cause such things as these?
Jan 2017 · 1.8k
Abstract expressionism
S M Chen Jan 2017
Picasso reported a theft
By art thieves who barely had left.

"Did you see them?" cops prodded.
"I think so."  He nodded.

"Perhaps you could sketch them
To help us to ketch them."

So he sat down to draw
And they watched him with awe.

After they knew
What Pablo drew,

Arrests swiftly came.
I cite them by name:
Mandolin, guitar, and horse.

But do I jest?  Of course.
Jan 2017 · 287
Ham on Wry
S M Chen Jan 2017
What's the longest word?  You take a guess.
(This dates from grade school, I must confess).
It may seem absurd
But 'smiles' is the word;
There's a mile between 1st and last 's'.
S M Chen Jan 2017
A geneticist named Maloney
Crossed crocodile with abalone.
He thought, for a while,
He'd get an abadile,
But instead got  a croc' abaloney.
S M Chen Jan 2017
A man who was quite fond of beer
Drank till his mind wasn't clear.
As he hoisted a rose
He words carefully chose,
Saying, "Thish bud's for you, my dear."
Jan 2017 · 358
How some drinks originate
S M Chen Jan 2017
A drinking handyman, one morn,
Felt standard libations were worn.
With magnesium milk
He mixed ***** or ilk.
Thus was the "Phillips Screwdriver" born.
Jan 2017 · 180
Not Entirely True
S M Chen Jan 2017
A doctor of x-rays named Park
Begat more offspring than a shark.
When asked as to why,
He was heard to reply:
"I do my best work in the dark."
Jan 2017 · 528
Mandarin is easier
S M Chen Jan 2017
A politician seeking election
Sought support from his Asian section.
Said a supporter
As he left their quarter:
"Rots of ruck, sir, in your *******."
S M Chen Jan 2017
A zookeeper makes a lotta fuss
Over a zoo's hippopotamus.
For if it gets sick,
Its hide is so thick
It's hard to find a phlebotomus.
Jan 2017 · 307
Ach du Lieber!
S M Chen Jan 2017
At her husband's behest, a young Frau
Took son to a rabbi with know-hau.
When she ventured to ask
Concerning the task,
He said, "Meine Frau, shouldn't be long nau."
Jan 2017 · 260
Nip & Tuck
S M Chen Jan 2017
******* were a lovely invension.
They're best when the skin's under tension.
Quite often it's not.
Some cases are what
Keep surgeons from tapping their pension.
Jan 2017 · 320
Whither Dow goest?
S M Chen Jan 2017
The stock market, as we all know,
Can deal a mighty hard blow.
Some would do better
If they could unfetter
A penchant for 'Buy high, sell low.'
Jan 2017 · 473
Joy of Aging
S M Chen Jan 2017
There once was a Hebrew named Ham
Who said, "Oy vey, I'm old.  I am.
My joints all do creak
And my plumbing doth leak
Or else it's stopped up like a dam."
Jan 2017 · 309
Love's Labors Lost
S M Chen Jan 2017
A ticklish young lady named Nancy
Was wooed by a fellow named Clancy.
Though he tickled her pink,
What made her heart sink
Was: he didn't tickle her fancy.
Jan 2017 · 394
Some Things Don't Mix
S M Chen Jan 2017
There once was a lovely young nurse
Who had a fondness for verse.
But her rhythm and rhyme
Consumed so much time
Patients thought she could hardly be worse.
S M Chen Jan 2017
An Israeli art dealer awoke
And dined while his wife told a joke.
He inhaled what he ate
And she found out, too late,
She'd a Jerusalem artichoke.
S M Chen Jan 2017
A couple who lived in the West
Led a life decidedly blest.
He only would let her
Give others his better,
Reserving for her all his best.
Jan 2017 · 233
On the road
S M Chen Jan 2017
A young man who loathed to be last
Most often would drive very fast.
He also tailgated
Which was ill-fated.
He's now in a full-body cast.
Jan 2017 · 304
No More Flu Shot
S M Chen Jan 2017
Said a nurse, as she rolled up his shirt,
"This won't hurt," in a manner most curt.
Said he, coming to,
"Don't know what I'd do
If she said it really would hurt."
Dec 2016 · 391
Another Richter scale
S M Chen Dec 2016
A Quaker wife never felt free
To know what a ****** would be.
     Her seismologist mate
     Declined to berate,
Predicting a 7.3.
S M Chen Dec 2016
In deserts like the Sahare,
Times people starve is quite rare.
     The reason, I've heard
     (Though it may be absurd):
Because of the sandwiches there.
Dec 2016 · 425
Lots of cold nights...
S M Chen Dec 2016
A Finn, who lived in Helsinki,
Had feet that were terribly stinki.
    What made his wife stay
    (The neighbors all say)
Was weakness for *** that was kinki.
Dec 2016 · 248
Subatomic particles
S M Chen Dec 2016
A young physics major cried, "Hark!
Methinks I've discovered a quark.
     If I can now carry on
     And locate a baryon,
I'll have in this field made my mark."
Dec 2016 · 284
I like the headstone
S M Chen Dec 2016
An expert safecracker with brawn
Was caught at his work before dawn.
    Though he paid for his deeds,
    His epitaph reads:
"Here lies a pro and a con."
Dec 2016 · 346
In 18th century Europe
S M Chen Dec 2016
An addicted artist awoke
And vowed to give up ro-coke.
     A gambler in debt,
     He increased his bet,
Deciding to go for baroque.
Dec 2016 · 166
Best things
S M Chen Dec 2016
A woman returned from a spree
Of shopping that brought her much glee.
     When her husband espied
     All she'd bought, he just sighed,
"The best things of wife are not free."
Dec 2016 · 313
Perils of a polyglot
S M Chen Dec 2016
Said an aging linguist named Flynn,
"I hardly know how to begin.
     The words I once used
     Now make me confused;
I forget which language they're in."
Dec 2016 · 256
Somnambulism
S M Chen Dec 2016
A lean, young peripatetic
Thinks slimness may be genetic.
     Both father and son
     Find sleepwalking fun,
Despite a pace that's frenetic.
Dec 2016 · 336
NaCl
S M Chen Dec 2016
One thing we think deserves mention:
Right now there's no real dissension
     About whether salt
     May be at fault
As one cause of hypertension.
S M Chen Dec 2016
Endangered's the beast called the rhino,
Whose horn is prized by the Sino.
     I asked one (with a smirk):
     "Does this stuff really work?"
He softly replied, "Oh my, no."
Dec 2016 · 1.6k
Somewhere in the Himalayas
S M Chen Dec 2016
It may well be that there is no
Man who's seen abominable snow-
     Man, known also as yeti;
     Yet I think if we met, he
Might flee as fast as HE could go.
Dec 2016 · 584
What's in a name?
S M Chen Dec 2016
While Tweety's well known for his chirp,
And Pluto's trademark is his slurp,
     For human fame
     One needs a name
Like Wyatt, who was known to bEarp.
Dec 2016 · 244
And across the pond
S M Chen Dec 2016
The ***** of a gent from Kent
Was angled like the roof of a tent.
     When his good wife Nell
     Began to swell,
He said, "Why, I've a creative bent."
Dec 2016 · 430
Who gnu?
S M Chen Dec 2016
A strange-sounding name has the gnu,
Which has rather little to du
     Except give us fits,
     For were all names like its,
Just look how we'd have to spell gStu.
Dec 2016 · 219
I prefer Bactrians
S M Chen Dec 2016
The camel, with two humps or one,
Is built to withstand sand and sun.
     I don't know about you,
     But, re humps, I like two;
To fall off is really no fun.
S M Chen Dec 2016
Queer is the beast called the aardvark.
It's found in the zoo, not the park.
     It has the distinction
     Of cheating extinction
By being the first in the Ark.
Dec 2016 · 250
True of the zoo
S M Chen Dec 2016
If you've never been to a zoo,
You may doubt what I say here is true:
     In season of rut
     The inmates are not
Concerned if we watch what they do.
Dec 2016 · 206
Now You Know
S M Chen Dec 2016
Limerick writing's no cinch.
At times one gets in a pinch.
     It's still rather fun
     To unearth a pun
And try the 5th line to clinch.
Dec 2016 · 230
Who knew?
S M Chen Dec 2016
When NATO was formed, it appears
Not a few Eskimos were in tears.
     Said they, "What?  Not include us?
     How could you exclude us?
We've had IC BMs for years."
S M Chen Dec 2016
A gifted artist was Van Gogh,
Who cut off his ear, as you knogh.
     When he wanted it back,
     What made his mood black
Was that he had not learned to sogh.
Dec 2016 · 827
Why attendance may be down
S M Chen Dec 2016
An unfortunate parson named Burch
Had a penchant for flatus in church.
     This caused not a few
     Who sat in his pew
To exodus in spiritual surch.
Dec 2016 · 518
Some can't, but she Cannes
S M Chen Dec 2016
An oft-married actress from Cannes
Was known for her men and her tannes.
     Alone, she awoke,
     Stretched slowly, and spoke,
"Ah - I feel like a new mannes."
S M Chen Dec 2016
A short little man from Quebec
Had a toothache and went for a check.
     When he wanted to know
     Why the tooth had to go,
He was told, "Ees Toulouse, Lautrec."
S M Chen Dec 2016
My daughter says somebody told her
Of a Far Eastern man, who, though older
     Than some of the rest,
     Coud contort with the best
As was known as 'The Manila Folder.'
Dec 2016 · 583
Perhaps somewhere in Hawaii
S M Chen Dec 2016
A green-thumbed lady named Mauna
Said, as she steamed in a sauna,
     "Though I have a yen
     For Japanese men,
I prefer bonsai to fauna."
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