I hold on, to objects, to ideas, but mostly, to people
I can't seem to understand how people let go of the things they care for the most
I don't deal well with unfairness
I have a hard time keeping a positive attitude
I develop feelings for people more often then not
I put a lot into friendships and relationships where I get nothing in return
These are just a few of my many bad habits
And all of these habits keep pulling me back
Back into this mind set of anti motivational, pointlessness.
Back into these medications that I have learned from you
Back into, **** it
Back into your warm embrace and thoughtful words, all lies
Back into light me a ******* cigarette and stick a knife in my chest

waking up is hard.
a coffee mug filled with *** can make it a little easier
yet if you're sad enough, it doesn't **** the pain.
it fogs your vision but it can't end the desolation
school in a drunken haze
tripping down stairways, colliding with passerbys
but somehow with or without medication, school remains painful
all the people you love and have loved. all the people you hate. all the people you care not to know.
all gathered in one place.
so many faces bring back memories and regrets.
they are impossible to avoid.
some hurt.
many do.
and when you see him, from the corner of your eye and he grabs her waist and pulls her in
you can actually feel everything inside of you drop.
you pull out another cigarette. maybe two more, maybe three, because there is no way you can make it through another moment without them.
you push the tears back into your eyes, put a smile on your face, and even when a tear happens to leak, you tell people you had only just yawned.
And you carry on, another empty day.