I try to wash away the pain and scars
And the thought of fatality
But they just won’t seem to go away
From what you did to me

All the time, I pray to God
That someday, I’ll be set free
I hope one day, I’ll get my way
You still did what you did to me


I can’t believe you doubted me
You never seemed to care
I always wanted to say something
But never really dared

I hope I’ll be able to breathe again
And see the light eventually
And I've said I’m sorry a million times
Even though you did what you did to me

I wouldn't care if you said
“You mean so much to me”
You underestimated me and pushed me away
Why’d you do what you did to me?

I can’t believe you doubted me
You never seemed to care
I’ve always wanted to say something
But never really dared

I loved you before and that’s a fact
But a million apologies could never bring me back
Now I’m trying to find that open door
To get me to the place I’m looking for

And now it’s time to say goodbye
To everything I lost and see
Anything you say to apologize
Can’t make up from what you did to me

I can’t believe you doubted me
You never seemed to care
I’ve always wanted to say something
But never really dared

I want to believe everything I know
And I just want to leave
But you never wanted anything I wanted
This is what you did to me

I’ve been down that road before
Can’t believe everything I’ve seen
I hated you, yeah, I guess that’s life
You’ll be known as the one who did what you did to me

We met up somewhere
For just a chat
I must say it's been quite a while
Since we've done that
I can't say what I've felt
All those lonely months without you
But now here you are again
So tell me, what's new with you?
I've been good
I've been better
Hey honey
Did you receive my letter?
We had our little talk
Then I had to walk
I wanted to talk more
Instead, I went inside behind that door
What a crazy day
You dropped me off
I had to watch you
And then you drove away

A girl doesn't want drama
She just wants a guy truthful
A girl doesn't want to be called hot
She wants to be told she's beautiful
She doesn't want to go out all of the time
She's rather stay home in her sweats
And she gets all crazy when you look at her
Even though you both just met
She doesn't need a popular guy
She'd rather date a nerd
It's funny because some people say
That's the craziest thing I've ever heard
But hey, do you really know a girl?

I don’t really believe in aliens
Only the ones in my head
I don’t believe in monsters
Except the demons under my bed

I’m sick and tired of feeling feelings
That I know they’re not
I’m living in a horror movie going on in my head
That I just can’t turn off
I don’t know why I have obsessiveness
It doesn’t really make sense because it’s not like I deserve this
Or do I?

Sometimes I can just drown myself in sad songs
And not even feel a **** thing
Some days I hear a love song
And I’ll cry until I can’t breathe

I’m not writing this to try to get pity
I’m just asking why the hell does my mind
Keep playing on repeat?

This keeps happening to me
I begin to fall
And I’m trying my hardest
To convince myself it’s not my fault

Just thinking about,
I begin to shiver
“Almost over night, my world began to darken
And hope seemed to wither”

Back in middle school, after I said I was depressed,
They made me sign a piece of paper that said I wouldn’t **** myself
But a piece of paper is just a piece of paper
Doesn’t make a difference, can you tell?

Yes, I’ve made some stupid, pathetic decisions
In the past that weren’t so wise
I’m just trying to find the welcome mat into my life

I used to think talking to her was the best thing,
The greatest victory I’m focused on
But it’s been two years and she went away
I’m okay with that so I guess you could say I’ve moved on

All those stupid things I said
Can’t believe I had the nerve
And God ******, I’m sick and tired
Of acting on an urge

One of the reasons this came back to get me
Is because I judge
Despite the fact that I go to church
And they tell me not to hold a grudge

So Father, heal me.
Forgive me of my shameful sins
Just rid me of hatred and all those demons
And just finally let my life begin

I'm sitting on a burning bridge
With not a single urge to move
You threw my hopeless heart in the river
I don't care if it's still in two
I know I'd go back to those days
When baby, I didn't need to recover
But now with this aching heartbreak
Baby girl, you're my sweet nothing

So tell me if you really meant what you said
Or you just weren't thinking right
I think you were playing with my head
Just like you do all the time
If I had a dime for every time
I thought you would actually stay
I'd be sitting on that burning bridge
Throwing my dimes into the gray

I'm breathing in a burning house
With not a single notion to get up
My soul's somewhere under this fire
Oh baby, along with our love

So tell me if you ever really cared
Or it was just a smile faked for my sake
I don't know, should I say a silent prayer
Or just hope God can hear me with all this trouble you've made?
If I had a penny for every time
That you said that you'd stay
I'd be throwing my change into the fire
That's starting to cover my face

I guess our love wasn't set in stone
I guess it never really is
I guess you weren't mine to own
That was just another wish
Or just another expectation at which I'd live
It just wouldn't give

Tell me, is there something I can do
Or am I just supposed to forget about you?
I'm strangled by your loving
I wish I could stop running
And now that I'm finally sober
I say to myself, "It's definitely over."

You built me up
And tore me down
Now I'm forced to put on a smile
And turn my frown upside down

You think love is a game
And you can throw out the words, "I love you"
And sadly I'm your victim
Because you made me love you

But you'll never feel that way about me
You're gonna like that other someone
And that's why I can't breathe anymore
I'm just so wrapped up in your loving

I might be broken 
But I'll find someone else
It's not that you don't love me properly
It's just I can't even love myself

Heart skips a beat
Starting to see red
I've made my bed of nails
Now I must lay in it
I'm starting to open my eyes
This isn't no passing glance
I'm starting to realize
That I have no chance

This is tearing down my insides
To the point where I can't breathe
I need you to look me in the eyes
And tell me why the hell you're doing this to me

Are you mad?
Are you ticked?
Am I starting to make your heart sick?
Tell me because I need to know
Are you annoyed?
Are you faking smiles?
Don't want to doubt, but this is getting vile
I'm starting to lose my hope
I'm getting paranoid and nobody knows