You are made of stone.
Like a two inch wide
twenty feet tall
sand castle on a raging shore.

I watch your sandy atoms scatter home
into the oneness of our infinite beachhahhhh

I forget you.

I watch the horizon brighten
And the ocean whisper
as I remember
You are everything.
You rise from the edge of the world
form the tide grabbing my ankles
You form the tide grabbing my ankles.
and in your rashness
you blur my past steps
so I have no path but forward.
No path but forward.
Forward.
With the occasional glance side ways into your depths.
You swell beside me.
Sit inside me always
Shorely whispering surely everlasting songs of passion passing swift and splashing me in your inspiration.
Dawn of myself
exists in stationary
and centering my universe of me.
Seeking to know thee.
Thy thoughts lost to drink in the
sky
Heaven.
The spacious...
Where my wishes fall from your body forming gracious
images I create from the ways you impress me.
*******
my whirpool heart.
Connecting.
And still
I forget you.
Forgetting.  
But then you speak through
everything
and I can't help listening.  

Your voice.
The faith with in
a choice to take part
and heal our separateness.

You whisper
I remember.

And as I see yours.
Our body's depth
I am terrified
or exhilarated by the weight of it.
Shake in the waves of it.
I have come home to stay.
You sit
within me no longer.
Yeah because where your songs once were
now you stir.
And sing endless shhhhhhh

God,
you probably already know this but,
you really ****** me.
Because ever since I started seeing the truth in your formless body
I can't for one second feel lonely.
I can't walk down a dark alley without feeling like someone is watching.
Stalking the inside of me with two hands on each shoulder.
I'm comforted by your graces as your third, or 5th hand,
I can't keep track of the ways you touch me, grasps the hilt of truth
and pushes that paradox blade through my chest.
Offers nothing less than a spot light path home if I would follow.
So I follow.
Closer and closer as I create myself into your image
and learn to dance in the abandon you inspire.
My chest on fire.
Unfolding into the air higher and wanting nothing more than to bring them here.
To your garden.
Where you will pardon my language because ******* its beautiful.

These days my dreams are slippin.
Shiver shiftin to the meet the missin warmth you have brought me.
Never again apart shift stops to start the
We-ness I have become.
The Am-ness we have forged here.
Slight eyes open to the reality I have pulled clear.
Ignite bright the dark from my cries;
Transmute fear.
Curb my appetite for destruction and stood near
you as you started whispering.
And I finally found that I could hear
if I was awake and listening

Follow me.
From the inside seen.
A shallow consuming darkness breathes
down my neck. Tip toe check.
I find my breech in selflessness
open up and let it in.
Set the table and cut the hen.
Pour the wine and find the shine to let him inch
closer to the light of my own pitch black baby supernova.
Intact and moving closer
to the potential of us getting over the darkness of gravity.
Pulled too tight and she pushes away like she’s mad at me.

But I’m shining because I’m glad that she
loves me so much to let me sprint shine
on ahead of this dust
I called me body
and relinquish the folly
of feeling so lonely.

So I
call for my center.
It’s been ages and I sometimes feel like I’ve missed her.
But I look and see where he's been
And we just sit back as it all moves in and around us.
Illusions we trust too much.
Never stops it just
keeps on going and I can’t help it.
There’s an answer and I felt it
in the same place at the same times
writing the same rhymes in different movements
for the same boy who believes too deep in the ghoulish parts of himself.
Who now would be no one else.
Uplifted and proud.
Shiver shiftin to make the missing sound.
An invitation to be found within this utterly
unfathomable mystery we’ve shrouded ourselves in.
Let the real meal begin.
Look me in the eyes and sin again.
Lie to yourself as you repress that grin
from the inside out.
Let it out
Scream and shout, twist and mount
your darkness on the shelf.
Become, reshape and acknowledge no self-doubt.
No one else can make you what you are.
Not so far out and away but here.
Now.
Like they’ve said it too many times.
Like I scribble shaped too many rhymes to say
“Right here. Right NOW!"

I’m waiting for that touch of footsteps passing.The inner recognition of the laughing
cosmos crashing to gift understanding at the asking.
And an understanding of acceptance
and its relevance to a faith in the asking.
A doubtless knowing of the presence that’s basking
in the light of every moment of openness we gift ourselves.
Even through these slight eyes I dismiss the hells in which we insist
So as ironic and as hypocritical as it is after all this.
Join yourself in the silence.
The dark behind closed eyelids
and the dance of a sunrise rising
to ignite the sky in
dark pink, orange, blue and violet.
Take my struggle placed beside it
And seen for what it is.
A chance to embark from darkness and know that I got this
because there is no other option
We are the ALL
as One.
I'm home.
"Alone" but look around.
Maybe one isn't the loneliest number after all.

an infectious cheer chokes me.
drives hard the pulse of this moment
this search for a way of telling you
something more than i can see or hear
and still gift understanding.
to commune deeply
to be seeming
parts briefly
realized and fulfilled
until we part
still reach me
Alone within this palace again
and savoring every short but holy breath i take in
every nerve bending current afforded to tell me
I'm alive.
HELLO!
I'M ALIVE!
We ARE ALIVE!!!
Shifting through the lonesome call
of this connected-ness
into the weightless fall.
Letting go of this attentive quality we've cultivated  here
stretched, and named it remembrance.
remnants saved for saving who we used to be
inside of what we've become.
a stretch of becoming.
an instant succumbing
to the unknown.
thriving on the thin edge of mystery.
this unfathomable awe in beauty
that we can actually see
dissolve this separation and BE
Blissfully fully aware
of the universal seeds
spun within us.
that i imagine must
reach far beyond the veils ive not lifted.
Somewhere so far beyond that it seemed I missed it.
Crying in a joyous recognition
of this flowing
instantly knowing
that i kissed it
and meant it.
held tight and gripped it
saw the truth in its
temporal dress
and slipped it
off and laid her bare
as he never flinched
just stood there before me
asking if i'm smart enough to ask
because they had stored the
answers to everything.
"you have the key," he told me
"but the door is so well hidden that you'll never find it"
then she took my head in her chest like she was pointing the way
and said, "unless you do."

Breath count.
Doubled out.
Half pause and exhale.
Breathe full for more.
Closed eyelids.
Charged silence.
And then
A siren vibration chorus
opens up two contrasted locked doors,
and falls through my porous shapes.
Wash the old cell storage and erase
this byzantine conduit maze made
for losing myself to the grey man inside my skull.
Pull back my irises and behold
a reshaping of awareness.
I AM thisss awareness.
In bold language and expansion,
upward glances and dances
I made up from star dust ballerinas dancin.
So far away from being lost to the chances.
There are no chances.
Life was made not for you, but from you.
To pull through purpose
and choose to
keep
on
breathin.
Directing ITs glow.
Showing God how to flow.
How to sing praise and know
that nothing has been lost or is leavin.
Darkened waters, and quaking storms are weakened
in the silent, still, space that this pressence has seeped in.
Of, in, around, and through.
Creepin.
Sleepin until called to move.
We are always callin.
So true.
Yeah,
IT stays so true.
Whatever you put in, IT pulls to you.
So open up, let in this groove
or choose to lose all that ever meant something.
Was or ever will be hard to lose.
Just see the space and welcome IT in
the empty fullness from where you begin
and end up to begin again.
Recycled through spirals of your imagination.
Practical estimate of reincarnation;
a collective memory passed down through generations
of double helix information storage stations
jotting down every hoped for expression
of who you could possibly be.
And still the variations reach towards infinity.
So yeah this kinda is your one shot
to give this particular expression what you got.
God has just got TOO many incredibly beautiful ideas waiting to be expressed.
And they are all YOU.
So take a step back, it's okay to be impressed.
But even when its hard not to lose my breath to this glorious unfolding,
I still gotta get up,
get dressed,
and go to work in the morning.

I greet presence with every breath I take.
Or at least try  to remember ITs name.
I'm still unfolding myself.
Still just pushing the sleep dust from the corners of my eyes.
But with you by my side
there is no one against me.
Only a lover constantly insisting
that the room is oh so cleverly crowded with secret undercover versions of myself.
Existing in and expressing The ONE LIFE that we all are.
Come to me my Love.
Let us begin.
Again.

I found you in me, with me, and in you
with heavy breaths to approach through
a moment drawn between this edge of mine
and the space we can’t divide or find
where you or I will cease to be.
Celebrating this expression of “now” and “we”
I enter into the dark, spirit on the cusp of
God creating Gods exchanging Gods just to ****** Us
into The Light the lite bright dark, and to trust LOVE
To be the ALL of EVERYTHING that IT IS
And to allow ourselves to be the EVERYTHING We all ARE.
Blessed Love if you are even reading this, you've made it so far.
Wake up!
Re-member.

I spin universes like you, everyday.

Like spiderwebs made from clay,

spirit, and star dust

pressed and stretched out for trust.

A strength to hold up your space

left  hollow and ringing

to recreate your traces

with swallows for singing

and give me something

to fill up with honesty

because honestly

I'm building myself up

with the way your kiss

can spin universes inside me.

One step missed to guide me

to balance in our moving.

One more chance for proving

that my heart is measured;

no pressure, and reassured

that nothing has felt so right in so long.

Lost in my meaning,

my essence,

my song.

Sing to me gorgeous, soft and strong.

With black hole notes

meant for pulling my light towards you

and for you

so we can see where we belong.

At least until we don't.

We build bridges.

Like links of hope

between strangers

who wish to have known each other better.

Like ways to write a letter

even if we are lost out and within the sea

when she is not so calm.

Waves break against my edges.

Solid, crash filled, and lighter than none.

When the stillness is all we are after

I clutch to the shipwrecks we made;

shifting through memories

and trying to find anything that still matters

left floating on these scattered life raft tatters.


Way out, away from the centering moon

I call to you

between dark waves and

stretched out in all ways and directions

with every bit of space for breath I have

just to see if you will long for me;

bent breaths with loose lungs expand and

Call to me, just to tell me,

“I Love you too."

Because that’s all it takes to pull me through

the icy shadows that lunge for me.

Part the space between the waves and run for me

so that I can watch the sunset

ignite spirit and burst fire in your eyes;

a cosmic light to burn through the lies.

Again for the last time.

Until the next time

you come home to my lips

and the way they crash waves with yours.

Enough that we build bridges

to find our way back to the shores

that made us wish so much for the ocean.


Right now,

I’m acknowledging the fact that

I may be just some dock that your heart can find home in for a little while.

While you’re in the gravity of my soul

Like the tides our lips pull together.

Far away from forever,

but I know it for a measure,

in your cyclical return...

I granted you a couple of more steps than I thought I should.

Measured out in open ended questions

that define the distance between each step across the ground beneath you.

Wishing I had enough strength to keep you, I run.

Far for darkness and strung out on broken memories,

I hold self doubt like slaughter house cuts left festering;

spite filled infections lessening the will I have to go on.

Like this, I know you too well.

And like this I sink in the wells I dug for your endless love.

Not so endless after all.

But the fall…

was much farther than expected and harsher than I had hoped.

So I sing songs for ravens

hoping they turn into crows.

Death crows crowing so that death can find me.



“Death crows crowing so that death can find me.

Long lost negative breath inside me

Shaped to fit the curve of my crying

lungs as they collapse in from rotting.



Dark light of life take what you’ve given me.

Collect the space between my lungs and split me

from my center stillness and let me be free

and know the release of this thing called breathing…”



Oh, the weightlessness of forgetting that burden

is first even to the solace I've found in your departure

and the hope that I will continue to find Love after death.

I join the stillness that you have yet to discover

as I find all that I have ever needed in whispers of my own heart.

Pulsing its poundings long after my chest has withered away.

No one pulls those glasses off like you do.

Like gilding the artificial lily that is already beautiful

Well crafted and renowned for way it haunts you;

In the best of ways.

On your worst of days,

Makes you remember that everything is okay

Long enough to make you smile for no reason.

To realize you’re still breathin

Outwards and in

Again and again.

Because I tend to lose breath to ways I wish to kiss you

With no direction except for losing myself deeper in you.

Through your tissue.

Down to your bone

Where the sleeping stars of our love call home.

A place we can finally be alone.

One.

In Love.

I am one

Among the many.

Undivided and safe

Within the body of our Lord; Love.

Unsure, I call to Him.

My Mother’s hand rests on my shoulder

And in timeless wisdom answers

Before the words rise from my lips.

They whisper…



“I AM and We are One.

The battles lost

Have just yet to be won.

Because we are alone

Within My breath.

The spiraled steps

Led to this

Conspicuous revelation

Of isolation

And the wholeness

Of this sort of unity.”



Truly explicit All-ness

Radiates from me.

Transmutes me.

And dissolves the

Only thing left between

These dreams and reality.

As I see

The beauty of meeting

A perfectly familiar stranger.

Reflected in them

as they are within me.

Slight winds carry me,

heavy in wet shadows.

Held up for release from endless wonder;

a curiousity fit for uncertain kings

and vast lands left behind in times unconquered.

Too haunted and self conscious by an inward reconoscence.

Starving for the enlightenment on the edge of a tongue.

many steps behind the one, ever present, now.

Reflective and stung by the prisons I've built within myself.



So what of this darkness?

Its harshnes left on the beat of a heart

and this indescribable longing for the part

I play in purpose.

I know it's all worth it

So reveal it to me.

You don't even owe it to me sweetly.

Only briefly if you want, and beyond harshly if you must.

But know that I'll have it honestly and with trust

that we can make the most of this open-ness

Between us that we should never have forgotten.

But the journey is strung with memories reclaimed.

A sense of wholeness through loss

Lost bits of who we used to be

but choose to forgive and have forgotten.

Relieved of their duties and refusing

to give purchase on who we are now.



Here.

One among the many.

Silencing our voice to the hum of our unity.

Know that I would love you.

Each and every one unconditionally.

Yet out of necessity dependent on truth.