I am boxed in,
trapped and closed up, behind my wall
nothing emerges, yet everything seeps in
can't you see the trouble? can't you acknowledge the pain?

yearning and grasping
trying to hold on to before,
but only after is here
is there anything that can bring it back?
or will it disappear

I am boxed in,
nobody can come in

I never knew or thought or felt like
my body was eternal like a cloud
I held my hand in my hand and waved sloppily

I am beating a drum hard as a heart
or like soft tissue perhaps that you
wrap around a vein or something
I am skinborn and boneborn and hairborn

Just water and air I guess
lined up so I can look at  the
sky and wish it was below me
or within me

Kite-tongued or painted-lipped I thought
maybe my face my head was above my body
against ice or seafoam like a pulse
but I held onto my teeth and nose and eyes for so long

Dagger-ribbed or bullet-spined
moving on a field of nothing
like a field of something while
while my matter is so simple and nothing