At times we need some times we want swimming threw a creak in to the swamp I step I sink I move I drop. A Lil bit lower I brings me down with every step I keep on pushing muddy and soaking wet I loose my shoes and can't see where I step my pants are soaked and waighs me down I take them off with no regrets not much further till I see some success  forward I move while I bleed out sweat  I push I pull watching  out for what I grab  life can hand u something that bites or stabs I dream of snakes  when I meet some new only a few can help me threw    this mucky land  I can't afford to sink further then I sand my knees my my waist my chest my neck any further it's worse then death I watch I pray I push away every day I choose my way I help I breath or I'm in the breeze all I want is this mud to stay from under my feet be careful who u choose when it's time to meet cause some will leave u dead and beet

If I fly does it mean I have super strength  
If I win it doesn't mean I'll ever loose again
If I cave in
It don't mean I'll be stuck with in
under neath this rrebble
If I live
as free as I can be
it don't mean I'll liv forever now
life is timeless we can only get it ttogether now
It's endless so let's get it together now
if I scream
I sing out from my heart With in
if I speak I speak out from my heart right now
If I breath
I won't ever try to hold it in again
even from under water the bubbles rise
in time it takes seconds to feel alive
So let's get it together now
just get it together now
we can live for ever now
as long as we can breath this second
we are living fforever now
Let's just get together now and get it together now

Sadness... I've lost way b4 I knew what loved ones truly are... I have lost with the card I was handed ..
Once you throw every thing away  you will

Be dealt the next hand

to truly think existence is a matter
im still here but dont feel seen
my mind reacts with depression
lost in a cave under the sea
droning slowly
hopping to be noticed
and i was
pulled out of my doubt
refreshed with faith
but it was just for a few moments
i got so excited that i was found
rambunctious i became
*** i felt like i was loosing my way again
and the more i push i started swimming down
down to that cave i droned
with more pain i had
no matter how much people help
it feels like they ruin me more
i sit in deep waters with pruned hands
waterlogged and warped  
comfortable with being alone
for that water i soak in is my tears
and that dark cave is my head

I go to the end of the earth
To see the galaxies reflection
In the waves and calm waters
The ripples begin from a breeze
Still looking downwards  up
From a distance
Like looking half way threw the mirror
The sounds of the clashing white waters Magnifies  
And expands the mind like a hulusanagen
Open from all angles   u can feel each element around u
Free and exact
The night of day
The breath of the sea
The fire of light
And the land we comfortably control like it means nothing
If I can live and breath the site of a beach every night
I'd fully be at peace

It's not a burden
For your hate
If u don't like me
It might not be a mastake
I don't need u never did
What u say.. I don't have to take
I leave all tthose behind
Contenplating who's back I stand behind
I've been on my own
For the most part
been hated my hole life
Your words won't Cause a spark
I don't want u in my life
Just positive marks
Their is no time to hate
***** what u think
I have more pain then your hate
And I know my place
I don't hate I don't talk
I have more things on my plate
Then to sit and judge
The best advice to tell u
Is just to forget who I was

shattered my own broken heart
diminished to the lowest feeling
belittled my confidence
i steered  my self to a dead end  
i crash thinking i could love again
after my love left this earth  
the remembrance of her appeared
in a beautiful soul
an Ora of an angle
reflections of lights off her skin in the dark  
my heart  instantly wanted to work again
dreams appeared my brain was focused
i had a chance and it was amazing
i felt the energy run threw my blood
the connection was incredible
but every time i saw this outstanding person
my love grew strong
but love she was not looking for
i strained my mind
shattering  my heart that was broke already

Seems to me that people call u a friend
Lie to your face and expect the rules to bend
Talk be hind your back and expect u to contend
Seems to me that u call people your friends
When the ******* u seek away and pretend
Their are more snakes then u think even
More snakes then the devil can send
You can be loyal as **** but beat down at the end
So many rips and tairs not able to mend

Two faced talkers smiles and eyes
A wolf in sheep's clothing what a beautiful disguise
I wait and watch carefully cause everyone just wants to ****
U unleashed a beast that can make wolves tails tuck
I've been nothing but loyal but it's never enough
People are different  but the same with some stuff
Greed and temptation will show change and set in stone
Your only out for your self and now I will always know
Narsisest complete with anger and disparate despair
I can care less for friends I'll still pay it forward I have no need for snakes  liars and talkers
...

Not found in the eyes
We suddenly look deeper
Some people create lies
But truth speaks for its self
Words contudict
And gestures explain
A Lil lie can be seen
Deep in the eyes of its teller
We can only tell by paying attention

Not everyday can you wake up gets ****** over and be nice about it..
Apologies mean nothing I can live with out it
But to do the same thing over and over I ain't really about it
My stubborn is careless but I hurt no one but me
I go behind no one's back lie or just leave

A poor man's soul once told me u can live blind and still be able to see
Or u can have site and live life blindly

I care way to much till I begin to get hurt I still don't give up till I feel I'm lessening my worth

I've been left for dead more then a dozen even by family often by people I can call cousin  or by people u think u can love.. I must of been buggin

Never really had no one always chose to be alone theirs so much drama in the word and to me it's just better for it to be unknown

At times we need some times we want swimming threw a creak in to the swamp I step I sink I move I drop. A Lil bit lower I brings me down with every step I keep on pushing muddy and soaking wet I loose my shoes and can't see where I step my pants are soaked and waighs me down I take them off with no regrets not much further till I see some success  forward I move while I bleed out sweat  I push I pull watching  out for what I grab  life can hand u something that bites or stabs I dream of snakes  when I meet some new only a few can help me threw    this mucky land  I can't afford to sink further then I sand my knees my my waist my chest my neck any further it's worse then death I watch I pray I push away every day I choose my way I help I breath or I'm in the breeze all I want is this mud to stay from under my feet be careful who u choose when it's time to meet cause some will leave u dead and beet

It's hard to live with no confidence  and no inspiration  walls are thin one poke it caves in dream about death think about death want to leave but he won't let me  punished my hole life born in hell I drink to cope but I try and cope to much **** priorities  my life ***** some many ways to die I chose a few  I'm not scared of death but with me I think he's amused knowing every breath is torture and I'm painfully living slow

After being sad depressed and hurt your hole life
It's just a regular feeling in life
You live with it
And you tare your self apart because of it
It feels like your getting stabbed three different ways with a knife
It only a feeling it's only this feeling
That tares me away from civilization
Tares me away from happiness
Ruins every thing about u
Know one cares about u when your down
And you don't realize how much the want to make u happy
But the saddened mood swings make u look unappreciative
And unthankful but truly you are
But something so good happens in your life
It's only right to feel hurt about it cause
Something bad is gunna happen

Every one 8s a couple
And it's just me my self and I
Waiting for tthat hand to hold
So bold I live life alone
No one to please no one stays
everyone leaves with a peace that lays
In side my soul with in my heart
I stand alone and always apart
I wish for something
I can never have
It's always a ttaste the makes me sad

Seconds of desractions
Can cause a life time of pain
moments of hesitation
Can be more of a loss then a gain
Often we challenge are time
but your decisions  can effect
Anyone's life
with a drop of a dime
U can think twice it's only a choice
the wrong risk can take away a voice

Deep in the dark sky's with dim clouds with no moon
Acouple of stars looks like a tulip in full bloom shadowed by a light gray and off white..
A cool breeze wisps with the sounds of waves crashing
I relax it's a good night thanks for asking..
I don't ask for much I just like to chill calm as can be just like the feeling under the moon while I'm at the beach
I don't ask for much I just like to chill enjoy my ends with sound site and feel

I learned how to fly 4 nothing

In this I am
Life is 24\7
Waisted time is just waisted time
The wind only blew in to one chime
But they all made noise
While these ball rock
Tick tock tick tock
Holes in my sole
Shredded pants with some ripped socks
Hand me downs
From my uncle B4 my pops
Slept in a hallway on the floor between two doors
Rotten language  slurring screams
Broken plates and my squashed dreams
Seen them beat I'd sneak strait under the bed
Never slept the t.v so loud I still have the ringing in my head
So tired I'd walk to school 3rd grade on all alone
I'd sleep in class it was better then home
God I loved iss  been their  almost everyday I went
Peace and quiet got some rest
My brother was made he would take it all out on me
Never had a room I had a top bunk and half a closet
Nothing was mine if it was it would be broken or gone
**** it what's yours is mine if that's how it is I'd be happy with less then a dime .. well it didn't work courts at 12 by the time I was 13 group home time all we did was play spades and fight being the only  1 out of 2 white boys we where out numbered got jumped every other day stomped on my face I learned how to fight and respect they gave
Harassed once I got home every day cops stop no reason and search
How's your brother... even in front of my mother humiliation at worst
Every  day they would stop 6% of the time I couldn't even stash the **** I I was on probation B4 I could even read that's just a little in the beginning of my time labeled the bad kid no one was aloud near me

Existence
Here nor their
A Pease  of matter
That really don't matter
I exist but don't
I feel invisible
Like the air that surrounds me
But stagnant
Only if one can see
I'd give my all to them
Undermined
I'd probably get struck by lightning
B4 someone will stay
I'm just a good time for just a night
my undivided atention is unwated
my love is never needed
My pain grows with every one I meet

Flowing full of energy a constant rush of fresh air bleeding out bursts of positivity a change I never thought I would see created by raise from the sun on a clear unclouded day

Who cares no one.,,,,i am worth millions ... and rather die b4 I touch any penny alone no one will give me enough love to spend a dime  it ***** cause I suffer for the fact no love will take me for being broke ... I'd rather stay broke  ******* American girls ..... it's a great big world

Got ****** in past life
Tied burned and buried
Crusified  starved and whipped
Theirs never a rush but life wants to hurry
The fermented fruits where used
To cherish. Meant to be sipped
Abused or used lessons in relish
I knew a man we saw saw from far
We differ but lived in the same constalations
Saw the same things and been threw the same preparations
I was forced to play he enjoyed the  partisapation
I grew sick of the corrupt had a change of heart and just wanted to love
This man has for filled his dreams of corruption altered his ego
And enjoys the killing
For filling my dues me and my best friend became old news
Enemies we say but really just fools
Change of heart to me was created
But still had to **** the negative
That's all inside me
My name is Gemini constentlly battling
My inner wars all though we don't get along my positive is strong
As long as I stand and don't follow my addictions
Consiquences are harsh and my negative is imprisoned  
If I was to set him free their will be a dramatic change in my eyes

It's only a negative to me when feelings arupt
Love is fake and emotions cerupt
It takes control and it's hard to ajust  
My hole life I'd just take it and rush
Nothing ever last all it does is mess with my head
No one is real I'd just rather be dead
I stay alone even with a crowd
Only people play with my head and tare my heart down
Just a feeling of me that no one likes it's
When I accompany I'm just left alone it's not the first Time.
I tear my way home
.setting a ground no one is aloud
I'm meant to be alone and alone I am now

Boiling waters bubbling
While I preheat my oven
Broil the bake
Add a little salt I shake
Flavor my life with every mistake
Throw in some sweat for a Lil taste
Work ******* preparing my self
Not one bit is a waist...

Agony and misory
Suits me emotional and phisicly
Let out the box
I'm a beast
I tare **** up
When I wake up
And B4 I go to sleep
24/7 I scream with out a peep
I'll bring u to hell and it's all my treat
Wolf on the pral looking for the sheltered sheep
Designed to Rome the streets  but I trust no one
So no one rides with me
No witnesses no one can speak
Till death do me part
No one will hear a peep
I live my life solo
Drained from the sun
That's y I live at night
With a full moon I have my fun

I am just one Lil fish in a fishbowl
Surrounded by hooks
the glass can hold a gallon but only have 2 cups
swimming  all alone
no one near my no on in site
I get fed once a day
it's alright
circles and circles I go
My reflection is the best part
selfless and shiny
I skim the top
Broken from desire
as I bubble up some air
No one is beside me no one is around
I pay no mind I shelter in the same spot I play
no one is with me No one is near by

Maybe the sun has its darkest days
Shadowed by clouds
Dimming it's raise
Clogging it's passage
Maybe the moon has its light
Bright enough to light up the earth
Glowing in its ways
Radiant halos we call stars
A message to my lover who ever u are
I pray to the lands and speak for the sky's
A chance we meet again I want nothing but good vibes
The elements stand by us as we set fire to the land
And swim towards fresh air
The power we hold in are hands
Is nothing but positive energy
And would only sucssed with one another
I gave u my faith.. with arms wide open
I'm not meant for no one
Except that one the kept me focused
We met once b4 we had a romance from the start
We all have are flaws... but still hope for the best
I hope it works out and for fill  your success  
Cause I will stand by your side flesh of my flesh

A slave to love a dark time for my heart to feel  a sucker  that punishes him self from a deep pain of feeling ice cold this world is ice cold I must not become..  a four letter word that rips me to peace every chance it takes  cursed since birth is a feeling I will never learn to deal with  torments me and brings me down any chance they can I will only breath steam in this ice cold world cause me heart is to big to give up on love

I would sit and relax but
I have to watch time fly
Are mess is cleanable
Hurt but still desire
Lust is not love
But having love does not truly mean your in love
I can't help but see
And it's all not good
In time we grow old
And knowing this
And knowing that
Are two different things
I truly be leave I will go older alone
I can not fall in love anymore
It's just disappointing
And I refuse to go threw it
My mess can be cleaned
And I will try and help
Anyone who needs it
The last girl I really wanted a good relationship with
Took the last peace of my heart
And I would definitely stick by her side
But she is done with me so I am done with dating
Only in time only in time
I will not look I will not search
I try my best when it can to relationships  
But now to me it just don't matter anymore
I live my life a single soul

Deep down we yell
Screaming for a love
Some will never get
Dragged around are feet we walk
Heads are below are chest
Yerning for company
Swollowing are throats
Sarounded by the world and yet
We get more attention. From a plant
No one is around me but many are near
Hurting in so many ways
It shows out load and clear
People ask but don't listen
Turned away cause its not what they wanted to hear
Fake smiles and silky talk
But inside we don't get it are selves
Its just the way it is
Some people just have it
Sadness is in their blood

It's pretty sad when u only attract pain sorrow or addictions
One word about it it bring confertational confliction
Their is nothing wrong with u I know that's why u chose me as a friend... deep down inside I can read people's mind souls and actions
I was taught to see deep I lead only the week to a free mind and a chance to seek... I allow your soul to freely express tears run threw pain hurt or worry... I can redeem your presents Ora and blurry.. me my self I have more issues then u my heart pounds harshly when I close my eyes it's like a wiplash in a threshold going threw a black hole but it only happens when I'm sitting alone I panic for no good reason and inside out of nowhere I feel like I'm bleeding  I tear up constintly and shiver like I'm freezing .. with a foot on my chest or like Jesus is kneeling my hole life was just a painful unpealing stripped  down to my soul for the beginnings unwheeling

My tears drop
Creating rain
Fogy days translucent  pain
Can't see
Two feet dropping buckets
Flooded their ain't no drain
I swim for blocks
I loose breath
I sink with no breaking sweat
My bubbles are all my regrets
I hold it in
Till my last hiccup
I spit up
Air is not there
Still lost event on land nothing to compare  
Six feet under no one knows
Stuck in a coffin under water know one knows
I try to break out
But like quick sand
The more u stress the more u sink
Stressed out
claustrophobic The more I blink
The more I breath
I worry about other who don't give a **** about me
I give them my air event tho I can't breath
And all I get is a ******* it means **** to me
I split the seas
I'm still a float locked in air tight
I can loose anything but my life
Or my money I'm a rare type

If I could speak to god
I wouldn't beg or demand
I simply come forth
or sstay ware I stand
I am not mad about what happened in the past
it seems like u put me on a road u can easily  crash
Forced on to a bad road
It's like u just threw me in trash
My decisions  my own when the choices where made
Not to smart got expelled in first grade
couldn't read till the middle of middle
I got tested every day by being belittled
It's not a thing about the past what's done is done
BuT ware am I going who have I become
Why am I in hell how long will this punishment last
I made a wrong turn as soon as I left that woum
Not all the choices where mine
It's the cards that u dealt
I can't seem to get a grip
Or ever work anything out
That's how I feel that's always what I felt
Got the short end of the stick
Right when I was born in this hell
I have so little questions and I know the answers will dwell
Can u help brighten my days
let me in on some faith
Cause I'm digging a hole with a shot gun to my face
I would like things to get better change for the best
Find some good friends and get out of this mess

I know this girl
That laughs the same way she cries
sounds like she gasps hher last breath B4 she dies
She sacrificed her life
for her child's bright blue eyes
She tried her hardest to stay alive
She battled her pain
To see her baby's first breath
Just to let go of the last beat in her chest
Her strength held on with every push
And now her soul lives on to make sure that child is good

Y cheat y lie
Y stab someone in the back
Who wants to help
Y drain your self for someone who will hurt u
Y bother
Getting hurt goes both ways
You let them do it
I learned a lesson in a relationship
I was so easy going it ruined it
I let them have all the freedom they wanted
Gave them everything they asked
Allowed them to make their choice
And it bit me in the ***
Y even bother should I be more demanding
Is that the affection  they want
Idk all I know is I can't be controlled
So y bother being controlling
I was born to be single
Forget being with anyone
I love my self more when I'm sober alone
And that's what I am gunna be

Only if I lift  my plate and pass it around
I had no food maybe when it comes back around
I try and lift it up but it always came strait back down
I try and do good but it's just never enough
I'm not bad I do no harm I'm just heartless and always alarmed
I keep my smile but in side you will hear what I say
I have a sad soul 85% depression  never been happy
Had it rough as an adilessont beat down everyday from a passive agretion town down pulled down alway *******
Never owned **** I had it rough as a kid sleeping under the bed so they couldn't find me I was frightened to talk  but always thought y me I close my eyes I see a man with a belt behind me cried most of my tears so young that I just sit here and wait for life's out come I'm not even fighting to live I'm just living too die

I love
I love life
I love people  
I love the site
I love the feeling
I love to love
I love u
As much I love to drink
I got a job I work hard
But some times
I know love keeps me alive

Starvation of the poor
Hunger and a hole lot more

Locked sadness in a room
We sleep to a fan
And dream about doom
Past few times I open my eyes
My mother knocks to see if I'm alive
Haven't eaten for days
I left my job
Just want to be left alone
Turned my ringer off
So I don't hear my phone
I closed the shutter can't see if it's night or day
I haven't smoked or go out to play
My stomach  is smaller my heart is shot
As I sit in my bed to lay here and rot
I gave up on life cause every one gave up on me
I want to start over but I'm way to lonely
I don't want to meet I don't want to see
I just want a good job where no one bothers me
I live in silence I just left all that I know
I don't want to leave my bed or step out of this home
Weak I need to eat probably an apple would do
But I don't want to see life and what it can do
I sheltered my self I just look at the fan
I close my eyes to dream about eating again
Brain turned in to a mush my hole body is numb
I'm tired of life
Lusifer here I come

I spend way to much time over thinking
I sit alone and my brain goes on
Good bad ether one
Drinking helps me sleep
I mind my business  and easily dream
nightmares will always come
I sleep threw them until their done
BuT my mind goes and goes and keeps going on
when I'm by my self I feel like somethings wrong
I keep busy non stop till I try and sleep
but my mind keeps stressing me
It hurts me inside ànd it won't let me be
Only when I'm alone
My mind really keeps bothering me

i build a wall of stone
directly around my soul
with just enough space to feel free
i let people in threw their mind

The world can't ajust
It spins and it wharls
Twisting and turning
On a line with the pearls
Spinning it's coarse  
Night and day
24/7 it's runs threw it's way
This world will not stop
Not for me or you
This world will keep going
After u and me
*******  us down
With the power of gravity
Chemically inclined for man
Are kingdoms are berieal ground
Are former land
The weight  it takes on the punishment  we give
It just keeps spinning  as its all life that it gives
Power to be promised it still runs it's coarse
The wait on my shoulders is no wait at all
But the emotions in my head and the feelings I get
The reactions I give and the sadness I sweat
I look in the world I see life and it's views
The only thing I don't get is why it's so tight in my shoes
I have everything to gain and really nothing to loose
I've been alone and can't seem to find a way I keep on circling the same coarse and nothing good comes my way
I just want to rip out my heart and mind and start over with out thinking or feeling this way

My last words shall not be spoken
Heartless moods and selfish tokens
Doors are locked so none can open
slit my throat and gouge my eyes
Rip my tongue  and chop my prints
I shall not hear it may not speak
Can not feel and I must not see
this life has been cursed for me
I fall in love but never loved
Me sober is a high of drugs
A king of kings with a mood that swings
pleasure makes it worse

Dreams of falling in a pit of snakes
Unable to move unable to get a grip
Hundreds of color shapes and sizes
Slithering jumping and hissing
In a hole six feet beneath
Twisting and curling a twig I can't reach still lying
Unable to stand
One reacts strait for my face
Quick enough I smacked it a way
Reaching and reaching I gradually  get a hold of
The branch I slowly tug
Poisines fangs i see the sight of their teeth
Slithering and squirming
No of them have tried to attack
Slowly I rise not one of them react
Heart is racing I'm shaking
No way to defend and it's my only way out
If this branch don't hold
I'll be stuck untold
With these cold blooded creatures
Who have no heart
If I fall back in they will be ready to tare me apart
I usually like to see the end of my dream
But I woke my self up
And didn't want to see
But I know what it's about
And I'm half way in to deep
Granted it's the way it started
I live for my dreams they've  helped me a lot
But some of these dreams had me feel like I was put on the spot
As long as I understand I know what that branch is
And who the snakes are not

I only did it for u
I only hit it for u
I wanted to be on the same page
Feel the same high
Breath the same air
Wondering if we would fly
I only did it with u
Its not really my style
I just wanted u to stay
So I lowered my gard and I tried
****
I only wanted a friend
A companion
At first we where **** in great
I could of stopped u
But u didn't want that from me
I couldn't control your needs
I really would of treated u like gold
But u left me stranded for a high
I don't do that *******
U take my money and go sleep with other guy
And know that u want to get clean
I get a **** u ******* and good by

I can't wish I can only feed I give food
To the ones who need
The ones who feed me
Are only a part of a dream
But it seems I hold on to a part
That will only fall apart on me

We live to feel
In depth and in contact
We all fall apart from with in
Some are stronger then others
We all loose trust for one and some for all
Its hard to trust everyone of them when the few
Have placed u in the outer element
Destroyed  my kingdom of trust
People leave people go
Abandoned  I always felt
Pushed away told to be forgotten
I have always been left I have always been hung out to dry
Zig zagging  down my broken dreams
Thumping threw my broken heart I will always be alone
I can't stand being left anymore I will do the leaving
B4 it even starts
My mind thinks and thinks and thinks
And knowing I will only be hurt tells me to just go
Do not stay no one loves u and know one has
Just go I say to my self just go
Cause every one has took u for your worth every time
I gave them my heart and the leave with my beat
I will never want to go threw this again
Cause it's always happened
Scared to let people in for some reason
I get the... your just a good guy... good enough to **** over and leave
I get that now. I have no trust I have no plans.. I want Nothing
As I stand here alone I am just me my self and I
I push away and some come back fight me for my love and just throw it away... now they will always fight cause for the time I decide to leave I have no heart cause a couple of them took all the beats away

Lost in the crowd
Alone and hurt
The pain runs thick
No one is beside u
No one is with u
Not one person really cares about u
I do nothing wrong
I do nothing right
I'm so sad inside it akes my heart
This is the worst depression
The pain is insane  
I can't live with it much longer
I'm getting weaker and weaker
I just know I don't be long here

Really y even bother
They did nothing 4 u
Take your time leave u hanging
High and dry
Really y even bother
Used u for your money
Waisted  your time
She never loved u
She never cared
Y even bother
Y even care
U did nothing to her
U tried to help
She lied to your face
Day one and day two
She played with your emotions
Hanging with other dude
Y should I bother
Y should I care
U put food in her mouth
Gas in her tank
Made u look like the bad guy
And just threw u away
She would take your money and just run away
I slept with my wallet and my keys on the bed
Left them under my pillow right under my head
Y should I have love
I had faith I truly cared
But she damaged the trust
The threw me a side
She leave me for a couple days just to get high
I spent any dollar I had on her for or with us
But she wanted more then that
She got high off the rush
I can't even bother now don't even care
I have more things to worry about
Then someone who's not their

I u live threw missing someone
U know u loved them

As the wind blows
The world turns
the rivers flow
minds think
And the heart beats