I would sit and relax but
I have to watch time fly
Are mess is cleanable
Hurt but still desire
Lust is not love
But having love does not truly mean your in love
I can't help but see
And it's all not good
In time we grow old
And knowing this
And knowing that
Are two different things
I truly be leave I will go older alone
I can not fall in love anymore
It's just disappointing
And I refuse to go threw it
My mess can be cleaned
And I will try and help
Anyone who needs it
The last girl I really wanted a good relationship with
Took the last peace of my heart
And I would definitely stick by her side
But she is done with me so I am done with dating
Only in time only in time
I will not look I will not search
I try my best when it can to relationships  
But now to me it just don't matter anymore
I live my life a single soul

I spend way to much time over thinking
I sit alone and my brain goes on
Good bad ether one
Drinking helps me sleep
I mind my business  and easily dream
nightmares will always come
I sleep threw them until their done
BuT my mind goes and goes and keeps going on
when I'm by my self I feel like somethings wrong
I keep busy non stop till I try and sleep
but my mind keeps stressing me
It hurts me inside ànd it won't let me be
Only when I'm alone
My mind really keeps bothering me

I'm like a star
Millions of light years away
from any thing
No one is around
I shine by my self
Things float along
But to hot to come close to
I travel alone
I conversate with my self
No one shows up when I need help
No one not no one
it seem like
I only know how to make people leave
Walk away walk away
Know matter how good I do
No one stay no one stays

It's not a burden
For your hate
If u don't like me
It might not be a mastake
I don't need u never did
What u say.. I don't have to take
I leave all tthose behind
Contenplating who's back I stand behind
I've been on my own
For the most part
been hated my hole life
Your words won't Cause a spark
I don't want u in my life
Just positive marks
Their is no time to hate
***** what u think
I have more pain then your hate
And I know my place
I don't hate I don't talk
I have more things on my plate
Then to sit and judge
The best advice to tell u
Is just to forget who I was

As the wind blows
The world turns
the rivers flow
minds think
And the heart beats

Things are the way they are
Come the way they come
And go the way they go
I can only change my life
And choose which way it flows
I'll never know the ending
Till its the time for it to end
Never realized how much thing can really disappoint
And only feel it's my fault
I'm gunna start putting my thoughts in a volt
I enable even when I don't even try
It's like people look at me and get a contact high
I just want to  liv and have a good time
I can just sit and talk or we can believe we can fly
All the things I try to do.. its like life says never minds
Just starting to feel what I want and like I will always be denied
I'd like some good in my life
And about to work hard to try

Locked sadness in a room
We sleep to a fan
And dream about doom
Past few times I open my eyes
My mother knocks to see if I'm alive
Haven't eaten for days
I left my job
Just want to be left alone
Turned my ringer off
So I don't hear my phone
I closed the shutter can't see if it's night or day
I haven't smoked or go out to play
My stomach  is smaller my heart is shot
As I sit in my bed to lay here and rot
I gave up on life cause every one gave up on me
I want to start over but I'm way to lonely
I don't want to meet I don't want to see
I just want a good job where no one bothers me
I live in silence I just left all that I know
I don't want to leave my bed or step out of this home
Weak I need to eat probably an apple would do
But I don't want to see life and what it can do
I sheltered my self I just look at the fan
I close my eyes to dream about eating again
Brain turned in to a mush my hole body is numb
I'm tired of life
Lusifer here I come