If only you knew
The pain you put me through
Would you do it again
If you had a second chance
If you knew you weren’t ready
Why didn’t you stop it at the first dance
Why start a heart
And then tear it apart

If only you knew
How much I love you
And after all I have done
And all you’ve done wrong
My heart sings a happy song
When I think of us
But my mind sings a sad tune
From the torture it is under

If only you knew
The hurt you’ve caused
The joy you have paused
To be in my soul
My minds reaching its toll
If only you knew

Her beauty, even Helen of Troy would be jealous
She freezes me with her eyes like Medusa
Makes me shine with her touch like Midas
When she lets go I am stone once more
Her voice like the Sirens call crashes me into the shore
I can’t fight it, I can’t resist
She is a goddess and has me transfixed
With all the horrors and beauty of every Myth

What can I say
What can I do
Protect me from what I want
What I want is you

You slithered into my mind
Where you should not be
Protect me from what I want
I want you and me

I feel so high
I never want to be let down
Protect me from what I want
In your love I want to drown

Take my hand
Tell me you feel it too
What I want will not cause me pain
And I will protect you

My minds all messed
I’m feeling depressed
All dragged out
Hearts screaming out
No one hears the pleas
No one hears the cries
The pleas of wanting good
Hoping some good will occur
The cries for the times
The times that once were
Good times
Used to be all mine
Now bad times
Is all I can find

The dream becomes a haunting
The angel becomes a demon
And I always feel her taunting
As I keep dreaming
As she keeps flaunting
In the eye of the storm in my mind

Will I find serenity
In this act of serendipity
Your beauty intrigues me
With every sentence my mind
Feels like it enters a mine field
Your answers with your angel’s voice
Is my minds shield
Every word rings softly
And yet so loud
As they are a comforting shroud
That blankets my mind
And warms my heart

What kind of fool am I?
To let it creep in again
This imaginary high
From this drug that’s all pretend
I had a kiss and now I’m addicted
Is it my brain or my heart?
That has been afflicted
How does this start?
This spiritual or emotional affray
That leads me astray
Longing for you
Needing you
I told myself the last time
Would be the last time
But here I go again
A slave to pretend
Something I can’t see or touch
But long for so much

What kind of fool am I?
For something fake I’ll give it my all
But here I go again
Ready to put everything on the line and fall
If it means love will prevail in the end

When I was young
The days were short
No moment dull
Just a stick and a ball
What ever happened
To those road hockey days
Those hide and seek nights
The free fall ways
The fun childish fights
Life was simple
When I was young
Not a care in the world
When I was young
Not a thought about a girl

A path I’ve walked before
A path I know so well
A path that was old
This time the path was cold
As I walked it seemed new
New and fresh feelings
New like freshly fallen morning dew
Like morning dew is wet
So were my eyes
From my cries
As I walked home

As I walked I wept
As my mind tried to sweep
The pain and tears away
By demons I am blessed
But it’s an angel that got me messed
I’ve never had much luck
It seems I’m always stuck in the muck
You could have saved me
Demons are in my head
From what an angel said

What kept me walking
Was thoughts of your laughter
What made me cry
Was the thought that came after
The thought that you didn’t want to save me
Even though you’re my angel
You sent the demons to me
My loving angel is gone
Because she done wrong

You will always be my angel
The angel that made me glad
Glad to see your smile
Now I look at pictures
I get a taste of bile
I’m getting sick of missing you
Sick of the demons that haunt
The demons that taunt
That this is a useless life

What keeps me going
Is the thought that your still there
I still need an angel friend
To stop the demons from time and time again
So I call you up
Listen to your voice
I know it drags on the suffering
But I got no choice
You’re an angel with power
And your presence is a cleansing shower
From the demons that are around

I’m walking a new path now
A path in my mind
That I thought I’d never find
A path that should not have been found
A path that you, an angel did show
A path were the demons follow as I go
Will you ever save me some day?
Or will another angel have to help me find my way
I wish it could be you
But I guess the devil
Was an angel too

Tonight my thoughts lie in clarity
In a tranquility of melancholy
As my heart is hewed
By the blade of emotion
And I realize it is only you
In this clear vision

The rest of my mind
Is crashing
In the perpendicular of my eye
But I can’t seem to look away
From your graceful sway
As you dance and twirl
And create the only clarity
In my world

As I think of simpler days
Before we went our separate ways
And these thoughts normally pass me by
The life and love of you and I

What if we tried, what if we went
Back to the love that seemed heaven sent
I believe with you my heart would be well spent
But would I be happy, would I be content?
The fairy tale of always hearing your laughter
Would that be my happily ever after?

I try to decipher this riddle of us
Is this true love or is this lust?
Will I perish if I don’t get you?
Or will I perish if I do?

Flutters of the heart
Where do I start
With the kiss on the cheek
That makes me tremble and weak
The devotion to making you smile
Is a very rewarding trial

Even though I am away
My heart flutters every day
As I think of what I’ll say
The next time we cross paths
To hear and see you laugh
As I hold your hand
And be in paradise once again

I hate to sleep
But every dream id love to keep
Every dream is about you
And all the wonderful things we could do
Fly high from the worlds reach
Lay on a sunny sandy beach
Become Juliet and Romeo
The two stars in a romantic show
I hate to sleep
But every dream I treasure and keep
I’m so happy to dream about wonderful you
But when I wake up i'm torn in two

You make me tremble
Like a lost boy
But I feel at home in your arms
So full of comfort and joy
Your hand in mine
Looks so right
The way I kiss you
The way you hold me tight
The passion we have
Is like the flame in the candle light
The nights I will treasure
Holding you close
Watching the fire flicker
As my heart burned up
Because of the spark
You created in it

Are my inside rotting or freezing
Is this blood coursing through my veins
Or is it madness, anger, sadness and shame
Is my heart disappearing, turning to ice
With every breath a memory of you comes twice
And my minds working overtime
Trying to keep alive the past
Trying to make a happy thought last
To keep the depression at bay
As my love, my life
Starts to fade away

Must stop the thought
The thoughts I have fought
So many times before
They leave me immobilized on the floor
After the storm hits
After the mind fits
The destruction, and the holes in the wall
Reminds me of my sanities fall
Reminds me I’m going insane
Reminds me of the pain
She has brought
Must stop the thought
The thought
Of love

I feel a feeling so familiar
Each time its felt I act similar
I get all shy
and than wonder why
I did not speak
and let the moment
pass me by
I see your pretty face
And my heart starts to race
I think about you and I get a rush
It is called a crush
Because I’m gonna get crushed

Pitter patter, pitter patter
the sound of steps or walking chatter
Behind my back in an unpredictable flow
Here she comes; here she goes
Where is she going, I do not know
Unexpectedly she can show
always with my heart and soul

I long for her from time to time
Terrified, she is still in my mind
Sad she is not in my world
Glad I left that crafty girl

Thoughts of you
Suppress my brain
With each thought
My heart gets a shot
Of pain

I hear you are moving on
Starting to date
I am glad for you
It is only me I can hate
I am the one to blame
I miss holding you
Watching the candle flame

Never knew
That both fires in the room
Would burn out

The abyss of lights
Makes the dark void of the night
Less empty and alone

Stare at the one I love
Is like staring at death
With each moment of looking at her beauty
Leaves me longing for less breath
Pain, a synonym for love

With my hand on her thighs
I listen to her sighs
I listen close
And hear her whisper
Whisper a word
That means more in this whisper
Than if it was loudly heard
A tight grip on my hand
She has a hold
As true beauty is about to unfold
Pressed against her thighs
I listen to her sighs
I listen as two hearts
Beat in unison
To each other we are bound
She listens to my sounds
As I whisper it too
I love you

As I sit on my porch
And reminisce about the times
Listening to the sound
The melody of the chimes
Thinking about how
Some days it makes me sad
Some days it makes me annoyed
Some days it makes me mad
But if that melody disappears
I will shed tears
Because that melody
Most days makes me happy
And it is a melody that I will miss
Just like the sweet melody of our love
When we kiss

The war is on
The birds sing no song
The sun does not shine
A war, and its all mine
A war between my mind
The allies aren’t that fine
The foes aren’t that kind
A war and it’s only me
A war only I can see
A war only I can feel
A war over trying to get back
What a girl did steal

A war that I didn’t start
Someone infiltrated my heart
Sabotaged it, tore it apart
Now there’s a war
And I don’t know what for
Its been going on for a while
By now it should end
Give me back my smile
Give me back my friend
I had a good friend in me
But now I look inside and it’s a foe I see
It’s my self raging the war
And I don’t know anymore
And I don’t know why
If it’s my war
Why can’t I pull out and say goodbye

A girl took my love and my pride
From the pain I cannot hide
My heart she destroyed
Now there’s a war in the void
From the feelings of old and new
It’s a war my minds going through
One side is destroying the other
It's only me the war kills
It’s only me the war is in
A war of when love and hate collide
A war were there’s no right or wrong side

With every exhaled breath
And every second passed by
My thoughts are in distress
The problems piling high
Makes me miss you more
And more
I have no sanctuary to run to
What is this inhaled breath for
In this life that feels useless

ALERT ALERT!
There was an intrusion
In my heart
There was a illusion
In my mind
Lost in your deception
That created a perception
That you and me
forever could be
Listen to the special song
To which we used to dance
Was anything wrong
With our little romance
Listen to the song
What do you feel
Something fake
or something real

Why am I still heart broke
Why is my face still soaked
Why do I still care
Why can’t I forget
Why is it getting worse
Why didn’t you stay
Why did you go away
Why do you mean so much to me
Why cant you see
Why are there no answers
There are so many whys
Just like the tears from my eyes

You probably heard it already today
By at least a few
All looking to get some play
They don’t see there is more to you

Someone with such beauty
Like yourself
Deserves the best in a man
Not just a trophy on his shelf

You might think I’m like the rest
I will get you and then never be there
But I’m up to the test
To show I really care

Thoughts of your beauty
Are taking over my head
But ill probably lose my nerve
And how I feel will never be said

You come around,
I lose my cool
My knees get all weak
And I act like a fool

You might think I’m like the other men
But that’s were your wrong
Ill love you and be a great friend
If you let me tag along

As I inhale this toxin
That takes years off this pitiful existence
I try to get back the feeling
Of how you have already
Taken my breath away

As I drink this poison
Trying to forget the years of this pitiful existence
Just helping the feeling
Of how you are already
Slowly killing me

darkness is crashing all around
my senses are heightened
but i hear no sound
im focused
by my eye sight is hindered
all i hear is a voice
all i see is a girl
all i want
is to get back to you
this is what i feel like
when your gone
for a second or two

Where did I lose my way
When did I lose my grip
How did I let this life slip
I search my memories
Search for clues
Search the past
For answers
But all I find is you
And now I look in the mirror
At a stranger staring back
Who is getting more familiar
As my memories, my life
Are draped in black

The warmth of the morning sunlight
Is taken over by the coldness
From the absence of heaven by my side
The sun’s rays upon my face
Are not as welcoming to the new day
They do not make this life as bright
As the delight of seeing your beauty
Next to me in this bed
In the vicinity of this room
That has now become a tomb

I could tell you all the ways I love you
But I do not have all day
Instead let me steal this moment
And my kiss may show you the way
I could show you love
From dusk till dawn
Or from dawn till dusk
Every second you are in my mind
We can stand the test of time
What we have, what we feel
Is something strong, something real
It is not just in my heart
It is something I can taste, smell
Something I can touch
Something mystical, something powerful
I love you so much

As time progresses
And days go by
I don’t seem to forget you
I don’t seize to cry
They say it takes time to heal
The wound can seal
But the scar tissue is still there
And so are the feelings I feel
The feelings of love and care
I wish you were still here
Losing you was my biggest fear
Now that you are gone
I never feel scared
Death can come visit me at my home
I wouldn’t mind the company
I’m feeling awfully alone
And you thought you were so smart
Saying at a young age
Relationships can’t have a loving heart
And you thought you were so clever
Saying it had to end sometime
Nothing last forever
But I know you are wrong
There is one thing
That will always be strong
That will last forever
And that is my love for you

Death and despair
Is all I hear
In my mind
There is no time
Life speeds on by
Pain goes by slow
The world is high
I am low

Being at the top
Is a thing of the heart
That is gone, were do I start
Were do I stop
Were do I go
What do I do?
Without you

The prettiest thing
I ever did see
Were you smiling at me
On a warm sunny day
I wish the seconds would stay
While you held me close
And squeezed my hand
And said the words
That made me more of a man-

The most beautiful thing
I ever did see
Was you in a dress
Dancing next to me
You were wearing black
But you were bright white
You pulled me close
And squeezed my hips
A time I treasure most

The only angel
I ever did see
Is you, you look so heavenly
No matter the day
No matter which way
You always shine
And look so fine
Hold me close again
My god sent friend

Days are long, Nights the same
Filled with sadness, hope and shame
Happy thoughts turning to dust
These are the thoughts
Thoughts of nights of love and lust
That slowly fade away
In the past were they belong
The sadness and shame
Is not what is wrong
It’s the hope staying somewhat strong
The hope that I cant let go to
The hope of love that i know
The love we once knew
That time will hopefully find us back together
That is slowly killing me

Its hard to forget
When every thought
Every breath
Is for her
Every where I go
Every thing I do
Is for her
Every time I think
Every time I blink
I see her
There she is
In the back of my mind
She just stands there
That’s were she will stay
Just a thought in my mind

Sorry I never treated you the best
You were better than the last
My love for you will never rest
The spell is permanently cast
I will love you till I die
Even if it is not by your side
I am sure I will see you
Before I see death
A part of my heart will always be yours
Until my last breath

I can hear heaven sing
There is a divine grace
As I sit in this place
Looking at the smile on your face
You are such a beautiful girl
With such a beautiful smile
Makes my heart twirl
My thoughts whirl
Spinning out of control
Falling in a hole
And hopefully when I land
You will grasp my hand
And lift me up high
And teach me how to fly
Like angels do
Because than I will be able
To fly with you

For all you’ve given me
And all you’ve taken away
All the joy you gave
The tears you saved
The tears you let fall
For giving it your best
But not giving it your all
For showing me life
Showing me death
Bringing me through heaven
To put me through hell
All the truth you told
The lies you did tell
For all I had
And all I will miss
I thank you
For giving me at least one kiss