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966 · Jun 2012
ego
Ryan J Everly Jun 2012
ego
take a step back
grab the mirror by the edges
bracing myself to dive deep
forever into an ego

detached from this world
floating in a sea of grey
passing islands of lost memories
scraping the reefs of regret

dead silence
breathing in the fog of introspect
exhaling confusion mixed with frustration
embracing a salty taste of red

looking to the heavens for guidance
struggling to pierce the cloudy mass
a moon behind veils
made of should-haves

drifting along
stuck in the perpetual
overwhelming, maddening
twisting my reality

peering overboard
calm lights of blue
an army of mannequins
where there should be friends

eons later
banking on an unknown shore
smelling a sulfuric sharpness
not here, anywhere but here

scrambling across
fine black sand dotted with slippery domes
of golden flecked flesh
is there any hope now

voices seem to spontaneously
form in the acrid mist
a green beacon sits
watching, judging in it's omnipresence

fumbling on my accursed path
the monolith appears
all fears come forward
mental collapse on blackest obsidian

an eerie spotlight
making it obvious now
i am not wanted here
even in my own creation

a thousand questions barrage
instantly, paralyzing any hope
of rational thought
a bloodcurdling scream pierces the eternity

shuffling in the distance
sickening popping noise
signals my worst fear
what is that awful smell

so foreign
yet so close
a step backwards
is all it takes for me

but that's what landed me
right into their arms
all familiar faces
twisted with time and malcontent

gaping mouths full of blackest night
twisted appendages discolored
fondling, groping
fingernails scraping off on my skin

an only constant found in stillness
that eerie air, foul as it is
becomes my refuge
beaten by my memories

tears, so long in coming
finally roll down my cheeks
oddly resembling the greasy texture
stuck on the skin of my enemies

eye contact makes time still
seeing the depth of sadness
reflected in theirs
sinking into the fine grind

drowning in the very base
of this worst island
forgotten it should be
unshakable, given i survive

tears amount to nothing
against this fine dust
falling into every pore
making it impossible to blink

finally as my last finger has disappeared
whisked away to a higher place
shooting for the stars
vaulting through the mist

ascending, still blinking
the dirt off my eyes
an unbearable light ahead
a gate, barred of course

too fast now
knock knock
please open up
please let me escape

suddenly i am back
in my bathroom
surrounded by a crimson water
still blinking the dust off...

— The End —