Scrolling up and down
Rolling all around
Looking for the answers
Lost and never found

Searching all the racks
Peeking through the cracks
But never truly finding
The thing that left no tracks

Ripples in time, wrinkles of fluff.
One more memory, not enough.
Diffuse the thoughts, rebundle them up.
Empty the bottle, fill the cup.
Pour it back and forth, in and out.
Sincere recollections, without a doubt.
Residue builds, the layers form.
Peel them away, reveal the worm.
Squirming side to side, to and fro.
Little Wormy, where to go?
Jump to the left, then the right.
Play that accordion night by night.

I've been swimming for days.
That land's still crystal clear.
Bold/Dark line won't erase.
It's your name that I hear.
Wish I never had learned it.
Your blood's too fast for me.
That pink bookmark? I burned it.
Hope your head rolls off from leprosy.
I've got a case of the greys.
Yeah, it's all your fault.
I choked on a bone (frozen gaze),
When you poked my iris out.

I was going to forgive you for everything.


Until you called me a "real *****" and told me to **** your ****.

It's absolutely SICK what some people will do for attention.
Being not there but being there is nice. Easy.
Others will like you more. You have to stop shrieking.
Pipe down! Be quiet. You're a  basket case. Good luck, ****.

Ouch. There's a tug somewhere deep in my gut.
Ooh, a pinch almost.
I hunch over, placing one one hand on my stomach.
Squint my eyes and scrunch my nose.

"You okay, ***?"

"Yeah, ma. Can I just try on these jeans and get home? My tummy hurts."

"You feel like you're gonna puke?"

"No, just a little crampy."

The discomfort continues.
I grab the Levi's. Size 12/14.
Shuffle into the dressing room.

"Uh, mom . . . ?"

"Yeah? Are they too big?"

"Uh, no . . . " Then, in hushed tones. "Can you come here?"

"What?"

"Uh . . . I think maybe. I uh, got my period."

Silence. Anticipation. Waiting for the happy mom, excited squeal, and Welcome-to-Womanhood! hug. A My-Little-Girl's-Growing-Up smile at the very least.

Instead, with a straight face, "Oh, well, we'll have to take care of that. Did the jeans work out?"