At the peak of its existence
love was all there was
never once did a deathly thought come upon us
never once did our love resign like laws

But things fell apart
and never once from the start
did I have a change of heart
now all I paint is black art
just to put my life into a kick start
and now my brain spills thoughts like abstract art
so I buy some red-bull from Walmart
just to drown myself in hypertension and good-heart
to ignore the fact that I have a broke heart
and use laughs to cover up how I was crying near the shopping carts
under the lights of a 2 am weather chart


Never once did I give up
never once did I give up
never once did I give up
now I give up

I walk along this road
passing by cars that make my hair blow into my face and I wonder if I'm just a waste of space
I'll try to jump in front of a car but these handcuffs won't let me put my hands up and say, "HIT ME I WANT TO DIE"
so I just keep walking n a road going nowhere and somehow I end up next to a tree
so I guess I'll just sleep and wonder about how I took those happy pills but they're not making me so happy,, **** IM LOSING IT AGAIN..
More nights of therapy sessions tangled in a ball of yarn I'll give to my cat to play with
Doesn't mean ****

What if our dreams come true?
You're always in mine.
All I really want is to lean my head on your shoulder,
While you tell me why the color of the sea makes you a little sad
I'd tell you I wish I knew but I'd just hold your hand a little tighter in fear of losing you
And you'll kiss my forehead and tell me it that it doesn't matter now

Im tired of worrying about my ex boyfriend who went to jail.
I need to start letting go of people.
But I'm stuck between being emotional and emotionless.

Whenever I'm alone
my mind seems to roam
about the past
and how the good memories never last
I lay on my bed listening to music
realizing how I'm becoming so lucid
people don't notice me as much
like I'm a ghost and such
Invisible to practically everyone
maybe I just need to buy myself a shotgun
what would it matter if one person out of this planet dies?
I'm sure no one will cry
It's just hard to stay alive,
emotions going into overdrive
Maybe I should listen to my thoughts for once
cause I'm nothing but a dunce
End it all in one blow,
life is nothing but a living horror show

Wake up just to go back to sleep
Later I'll take some antidepressants, but this **** ain't cheap
Waiting to feel good, I'll play some DOOM
**** them all in a dark dead room
Life is basically like an illusion
**** it, life's giving me a mental confusion
Time flies and it's already 11 at night
Everything is black and white

These days I've been smoking more
I sit behind my house on the floor
You probably haven't noticed or even care,
you're living your life while I have time to spare
Wearing all black like I'm ready for someones funeral
But don't ask me if I am, its rhetorical
Cigarette in one hand, head in the other
Trying to find a purpose is actually quite tougher
Than just becoming a ghost, an invisible
But walking with a ghost by my side is typical
Whispering like dead children from the grave
Putting thoughts into my head like a shockwave
Whatever, I'll just ignore it anyways
Had enough of this ******* for 365 days

Clear skies with a dark mind
Wind blowing through the trees of the lands that were once forgotten
Run through the marigold fields with torn shoes
Resting feet lay in the small river
Lay down in the grass with flowers in your hair
Watch the clouds, what does the mind portray?
What you see isn't always there
Walk home holding your shoes
As you go to bed, you repeat it all in your head

Roses are red
Violets are blue
I'll silently cry
because I can never be with you

I looked out the window
while sitting in a taxi
and listening to all the songs that reminded me of you.
I saw city lights,
signs flashing,
and felt the sudden nostalgia of you.
In that moment, I realized you didn't need me,
care for me,
love me
the way that I did about you.
The taxi cab stopped, so I paid the driver and started walking.
As I wandered down the lonesome streets
I wrote your name on a paper airplane,
watched it fly in the wind,
and never looked back.