Though the Light in me is strongest, never underestimate my Darkness...

You told me to write a poem, so here is a simple one. Filled not with love, hate, or sadness, but with simple letters. Letters that when read with feeling can tell a story. Is this then truly a poem? Perhaps not, but it is a writing, and all writing is poetry to its beholder.

Pretty, beautiful, magnificent, gorgeous...
Words wasted upon my lips.
For though these words may posses a purpose,
it will never amount to this.
This feeling I get when your around,
its quite a wonderful thing.
But will you ever notice me?
I doubt; for these thoughts dont even exist.
How can they exist? This isnt real.
Why waste this piece of parchment?
But if I try, who knows what may be?
You do, for its your option.
So here I stand, waiting to fall,
but look, I may stay afloat.
For theres a special look in your eye
from reading this simple note.
So should I fear what you say next?
I fear I do no less.
For if its a no that you will say,
its fine, just smile your best.
That smile that I love, you know the one.
I compliment it everyday.
You walk by me, flash it once,
and I just melt away.
But lets think positive, you could say yes.
I could be wrong in my choice.
And if that is your final say,
well; I may just lose my voice.
Youll look at me after its all said and done,
and Ill just look right back.
Ill think to myself "Have I really won?".
And youll just smile, knowingly, as if to answer me back.
Ill smile then, triumphant and true,
not really understanding what just happened.
And then youll smile, that smile that I love,
then Ill know. It did happen.
You did say yes. I cant believe it.
"Could this be yet a dream?".
And then I feel it. Not a pinch, no no...
The soft, subtle touch, of your lips...

Do you, Remember, The night that we first met
We talked, And laughed, This night should never end
Then you, So young, Put your hand within mine
You won, I lost, I never stood a chance

Your smile, So bright, The memory still hurts me
Our laughs, Our time, Will be what keeps me going
We lived, And loved, The world went by so quickly
And then, Your heart, Showed me truth eventually

I saw, Your cruelty, Evil kept deep within
I tried, So hard, You overtook me then
Your heart, So dark, pitch-black it never sleeps
I tried, So hard, The knife fell again

You stabbed, And slashed, You never once gave in
I stared, In shock, My mind went numb with dread
You were, My one, How could you do this then
These scars, So deep, Its all I ever get

With all, Your lies, My heart was left in pieces
You just, Moved on, Nothing was left to reason
My mind, Still numb, It hasnt hit me yet
These walls, All white, Im in here till the end

They say I'm wonderful, yet the stay away.

They say never to change, yet I'm just not their type.

They say every woman wants a guy like me, yet I'm always alone.

Now, does this make sense? Is it worth it then? To act like a gentlemen but always have no company? Wouldn't it be better to act like all the others yet still have a partner at my side? I'm torn. Torn between being who I am and being how they want me.

What am I to do?

Who am I to be?

Late last night, as I lay in bed
Your all that ever ran through my head
The thought of you just made me smile
Which made you stay in my head for a while
I lay there then, very much awake
Wondering if I would ever catch a break
My dreams are full of moments with you
I wake up sad knowing known are true
The dreams I had were simple enough
You took my hand and smiled, it was rough
Rough knowing it was all a dream
Rough knowing what it could all mean
Late last night, I laid in bed
And as usual, you were in my head
I smiled, as I do
It means, I love you
I know what love is, don't tell me I'm wrong
And love is what I've felt all along

How much more I could have accomplished.
How many more hobbies I could have picked up.
Poems written.
Friends made.

If I had not been so hell bent on destroying myself.
I wasted so much time...