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You should know
My first choice would be
To send you directly
You & YOU ALONE
If I’m an attention *****
It’s only for you
Yes, I desire your attention
Solely yours
If only you would let me love you
beyond midnight
restless
Whiskey floods the veins
Unshed tears over ashes,
these remains
Mourn the dead
Mourn the gone
Mourn the heart
from strong to wrong
Mourn the squandered past
the hollow aimless now
Frozen memory of that final last Farewell
Ponder empty broken words
Promises unkept
Pierced with sword
of hopes inept
Future nameless, fading figure
Sink as restless sleep takes over
Failed the fight
Dead tonight
Hope perhaps with morning light.
Originally published 20th Nov 2021 to DUP as “Restless” | Edited 25th Feb 2025 | lightly edited June 26, 2025
There's a bakery at the end of this dead-end street
It has lots of pastries with nothing to eat
I'm hungry so I hold your hand from across the miles
In your distant touch I feel a peace and start to smile
(a missing piece, more missed than missing now)
Let’s turn this dead-end to a through-street somehow
Even pouring concrete is romantic I’ve found
when done together with you…

Decades passed, in review:
I was happy on that journey, now sorry it’s through.
I miss being best friends with you.
originally published 23rd Nov 2021 on DUP from a ~2006 write | Edited 25th Feb 2025
I remember, in all 5 senses, you.
Dreams of you, light up all perceptions.

Visions pierce my sight
with vivid colors—red & blue
your tender eyes,
your beating heart,
lips lined with passion
back-dropped by seaside sunset brilliance.
You are my light.

Scents linger in mind’s breath—
you, so clean, shower-fresh;
tangy tangerine;
flowers--lavender and lilac,
varied hues of scented roses,
garden of our memories

My tongue, hungry for you, tastes our history as
shared popcorn, counted sushi, big soft pretzels, sampling tasty foods;
a shot of ***** from your mouth, light-headed shock;
and most missed that freshly long minty kiss; water licked from clean soft skin; the taste of you within. . .mmm

Your sounds whisper in my dreams—
rhythmic breathing; rhythmic heartbeat;
soft light lasting laughter ringing in my ears (though now long faded, those tones echo ever through the chambers of my mind);
gentle listening caring voice
(must you say “good-bye”?)

Forevermore I’ll miss, your loving touch—
warm & gentle, firm & safe,
strong secure hug, encompassing;
Playful moments, teasing
Would those moments ‘neath your skin,
Moments merging bodies, might return & lasting be.

I dream in all 5 senses wistfully,
wishing fully to sense you in reality.
Originally published 23rd Nov 2021 | Edited 27th Feb 2025 | edited June 2, 2025
Dismissed?
I’m ******!
Hey, YOU,
I’m smart too!
but you’re always debating
smart-woman hating
mansplaining
As if I never went to school
Do you think I am a fool?

I’m not just your pretty thing,
a lonely girl who wants a ring.
I have a brain inside me, too!
I converse as good as you
if you would stop behaving
like I am always wrong.
You think I can’t do things right enough for you?
****!
Relax! You’re so uptight?
Just chill with me
be real with me
treat me with equality
like your bromance buddy.

Hey! My star won’t fit
beneath your boot.
No, Baby! I was born to BLAZE
Bright
like a Woman!
Originally published 16th Sep 2021 | Edited 22nd Jun 2023 | edited June 25,2025
A pep-talk to myself to remember my own worth.  It’s tough for a girl broken into meekness to find the blazing woman inside.
They wrote it on her DNA
From mother’s mother’s mother
And all those aunts and uncles
The deacons, elders, teachers, preachers, leaders
They wrote her wrong:
  
“He’s weak, so be responsible”
“Don’t cry” “kneel down”
“Listen” “obey” “because I said so”
“sinner” “he died for YOU”
“Thou Shalt Not” … “shalt not” … “shalt not”…
“Be a good girl”, “say ‘sorry’”, “bow and pray”
“OBEY!”
“You must Forgive!!” Forgive, forgive…
  
(from infant, to girl, to ******* that grew)
Walk the line, speak OUR “truth”
THERE IS NO YOU!
REMEMBER: please, not pleasure
“That’s right, Kneel down, Apologize…”
Meek is pretty
Femininity
Yesss…bow…
seek PERFECTION

“Desire? NO! Desires don’t belong to you!”
Oh, Their desires? Honey, they can’t help it…

GIVE  
F O R G I V E
don’t live
don’t be
Just see
OTHERS



years

free

me

yet haunting whispers of the child’s ghost
remnants of her twisted DNA
Echoing cellular repercussions
through the years into the now
…it’s complicated…
(“May I have a rewrite?” she’d meekly plead)

“To late” wrote fate
she shrugs, “why hate?”
decides resigned just to deal
Originally published 11th Nov 2021 | Edited 19th Feb 2025 | edited June 25, 2025
If this resonates, check out the mini-docuseries: Keep Sweet: Pray and Obey
Did it again
repeated my sin
Let those feelings take the wheel
Expectations so unreal
Thunderstorm that stole the sun
****** up wishes come undone
Days wrapped up in a blurring daze
**** is scattered, lost, ablaze

As havoc’s ashes settle
passion is lost, no color
life has turned lack-luster
the fire has gone
just dullness on & on
Despair, an eternity
of empty
Wrong
Originally published 1st Oct 2021 | Edited 25th Feb 2025 on DUP as “Plain”
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