there’s this girl I used to know,
an old friend of mine,
she used to wear her hair in yellow ribbons
and watch the world through eyes so blue they made the ocean look faded.
she told me stories filled with “happily ever afters” and “prince charmings”,
and she believed in the power of God and she told me good always beats evil.
her long brown hair draped over her narrow shoulders like a cape,
and to me she was just as super as any hero ever could be.
she always said that there was a reason we were all here, and that
she was gonna find her reason and God was gonna give her his light.
I believed every word she ever said.
her daddy died when we was twelve years old, and I remember sittin’
with her and crying on her stoop, watchin’ the death limo take her daddy
away like he was a package that needed to be taken to heaven.
she stopped wearing those yellow ribbons after that, and she stopped tellin’ her
stories to me…that made me sad ‘cause nobody at my house ever told me stories.
her eyes stopped lookin’ at mine, and i just about forgot what color they were after a while.
she said that God wasn’t real no more, and that there was no reason to take her daddy like that.
I couldn’t think of a reason either.
her hair stopped lookin like a cape, on the count of she cut it all off one day when
she was real sad.
she told me that she didn’t wanna live no more, and that she wanted to be with her daddy…..wherever he was.
she kept on livin’, but instead of her momma tuckin’ her in at night, Jack Daniels did.
she told me he made the pain go away, but I didn’t understand who he was and how he did it.
we were both too young to understand any of it, but I’ll never forget the day when her light finally came.
when we was fifteen I found her bleedin’ all over her bathroom, her pretty blue eyes rolled back, her hair messy and matted, and a pair a scissors in her hand.  
through all the blood, through all my tears, I saw her in a way I ain’t seen in years.
she looked so beautiful, the way I remembered her before her daddy got taken.
she looked at peace, like she couldn’t wait to get all wrapped up like a present and sent to heaven.
she was with her daddy, and hell, even though nobody else thinks it’s right, I believe that was God’s reason for her.

I’m the first to die
As the story goes.
My body’s wrapped in clay
Stranded empty pain
And it lasts, you know.
I got out the shame
And you know it’s all the same.
With your holy hands
That are shakin’, shakin’.
And you know it’s all the same.
Come with me, step away from here,
And you’re runnin’, runnin’.
But now you start to sleep,
Don’t remember how to feel,
You just settle, settle.
Strangers gather round,
And the passage is read,
I can touch you again.

Blacked out,
I found you downtown,
Passed out on the ground.
You lost track of yourself,
I cried like a child.
Seeing you fall,
It was agony no one should know.
Cause you’re my desire,
My only.
Please come home with me,
We can be happy.
You’re not really like this,
You probably know this.
I can’t see you like this.
I’m crippled inside.
From the agony I've come to know.
You’re mine, yes.
I am beside you.
Did you even think about
how far you've come?
You’ve done it now.
Would you really rush out?
You’ve fallen out.
Torn down, I am.
Down to my bare bones.
The end of the line has come.
The moon leaves a cold light,
As you fall to the floor,
Half awake—half unsure.
For the irony I’d rather not say.
Cause you’re mine,
I will lie beside you.
Never will I hide you,
I’ll be right beside you.
I am blind.

This my declaration to you,
As the days drag on.
All the things that happen
From this point on--
This is hard for me,
I am paralyzed.
I’ll keep holding on to you,
For the rest of time.
I search to find a way to put it,
In your arms I am fine.
And you rock me well.
On your back, there rests
All the stacks you move.
On your back, there rests
All the tracks you drove.
On your back, they rest
And they weigh you down.
I will fix you in the morn.
I waited to replace the
Statue in the backyard--
It’s rusted now.
All my love was there.
See that flower blooming,
Under that tree?
With its vines weaving across
It holds the key to me.
Even though it’s small,
Whatever I can give,
It is all right here,
And it has brought me to this love.
On my back, there rests
The weight of your love.
On my back, there rests
All the ways you move.
This is not the only way to say,
Just how much you’ve meant.
It’s just a hazy realization.
There’s part of me you're rocking,
Lifting me away.
And the other part is sinking,
Deep into your back.

Turn off the lamp,
Switch off the fan.
Quiet these voices
Inside my head.
Don’t you lay here with me,
Don’t you tell me your lies.
Just let me sleep,
Alone tonight.
Don’t sympathize with me.
Because you can’t make me love you
If I don’t.
I can't force my heart to feel
Something it won’t.
It is dark in this room,
I can hear your words.
You make your case to me,
In this final hour.
But I don’t, no I don’t.
Because you can’t make me love you
If I don’t.
I’ll try to sleep,
Your face I don’t see.
It’s your body I fear,
When you’re close to me.
Sunrise will come,
And you’ll hold me tight.
Just give me some time,
To distinguish wrong from right.
And you can’t make me love you,
If I don’t.
Don’t you make my heart change
What it’s already been told.
In this dark room,
Your lasting words,
Begging for mercy
In this final hour.
But I don’t, no I don’t.
You can’t make me love you if I don’t.

Well I met you at the drugstore
You were staring between the shelves
Wondering if any of the pills
Matched any of the pain you felt in your heart.
You said hey here’s a few quarters,
I found them on the ground,
Don’t you worry about repaying me,
I don’t need them anyhow.
And I said I’ll use them well.
That secret that you hold,
You don’t want to let go.
It tears you apart,
And darkens your soul.
But you know that you need to
Keep it locked, tucked away.
Then the rain started pouring,
We were stranded in the store.
I was holding both my bags,
Searching for ways into your arms.
You said I could stand here forever,
Being here with you like this.
There was a strong gust of wind,
And we started to kiss.
And I said I’ll use them well.
There's a quiet that we know,
We don’t want to let go.
I’m in love with your body,
I’m in love with your smell.
What’s that there on the ground girl,
Is it more than just loose change?
And I said I’ll use them well.

do not cry my friend, let me tell you this:
let us remember the times we fought back tears
in order to keep each other strong.
let us smile as we seek to find sincerity
in a world that has led others astray.
let us know that maybe, just maybe,
we aren't as ****** up as we seem,
and that someday, hopefully someday,
we can amount to something, anything.

we are the soldiers,
carrying the loads that we have bestowed upon each other,
for we cannot bear the weight alone.
we are the fighters,
attacking anyone who threatens the lives we have built.
we are the martyrs,
dying for each other,
dying for love.
like concrete,
we compact,
hardening our hearts to those who will never understand.

this is the life we have chosen,
the path we walk,
the friends we have.
we are bonded by love,
and love alone.
it has been enough,
it will always be enough.