Our hearts are on strings, controlled by somebody. But somehow your strings got all tangled up with mine and our hearts are side by side but I don't mind cause that was the day your heart touched mine and I knew nothing would be the same with you by my side to be my guide and show me some light once and a while and hold me when I cry and listen to my thoughts when they fall to my feet like loose change and no one would bother to pick them up but you and sing me to happiness in the way that you do and tell me that no is ever just the same as me and you because no one can love just the same as me and you because no ones strings are tied the same way as yours and mine and our knots are special and our knots make us strong and our knots make us in some kinda love that's higher than the moon and our knots may one day lead to "I do"

And I don't mean the short distances from your house to the school. I want to drive you someplace farther away, like my rehearsal in Newton. You'll sit in the passenger seat, and watch me. You'll see the grip of my hands on the steering wheel, how I slide them around and how I make turns. You'll watch my leg as I go from brake to gas pedal and how my foot leans on each. How I lean back and stretch at every red light, and the way my lips move silently to my music. And when they're not silent, you're hear my lips cursing things to all the other drivers. You'll hear my music playing and learn about me and everything I hear. You'll watch my eyes as they graze over the pavement, and glance through my mirrors, and you'll wonder what I'm thinking about. And I'll smile, and giggle, because I know we're thinking about each other and you're looking at me. I want to drive you somewhere.

Someone once told me
That there was a body found in that river.
The river down the hill
from my home.
They told me it belonged to
a black boy
and was put there by
White men.
They told me that they
Beat him
and
Ripped him
and
Shot him
and
Choked him
and
Drowned him
and
Murdered him
before they were finished.

And as he told me this,
I felt a lump in my throat
and I realized how dizzy I was.
The lump got larger
until it turned into
Searing pain,
And I got dizzier until
My vision went blurry.
My entire body ached. . . .
Before my vision went completely and I'd fall,
I looked down
and saw my blood
And realized the boy
Was me.

why is it
that when lovers are separated across countries or states,
their world is lonely?
we've had weekends apart,
many times.
so why is it that
Just because you're going to a different state,
i feel lonely
and miss you?
what is is about those extra miles
That make us hurt?
what sense does it make?
what's the difference between
Three days apart
and
three days apart
and someplace else?
why do those ****** extra miles
leave a tugging in my chest?
Maybe
this tugging
is my heart
trying to reach yours
because they've never felt this distance.
our heartstrings are intertwined
and being pulled by
those ****** extra miles.

**** me slowly with a dagger.
Stab it in my wrist and twist it around.
Keep your hand on my chest to feel my gasps.
Keep your ear near my mouth to feel my screams.
Keep your knees on my hip to feel my struggle.
Keep your eyes locked on mine to see my humanity
Until I fade away.

**** me quickly with a gun.
Point it at my brain and fire away.
Keep your hand pressed against your thigh to hide the shaking.
Keep your ear ringing from the echo of the shot.
Keep your knees strong so they don't buckle.
Keep your eyes locked on mine to see my humanity
Until I drop to the ground.

**** me quietly with myself.
Put it in my mind and watch me follow through.
Keep my hand near my mouth to feed me the pills.
Keep my ears turned away from the thoughts in my head.
Keep my knees near my chest as I curl up to die.
Keep my eyes locked on the darkness of my eyelids
Until I fall asleep.

It circles us endlessly
Hopelessly devoted to our existence.
The closest satellite in the
Universe
And it belongs to us.
But he likes to hide--
Once a month.
He'll turn his back on us
And our sky is dull and empty.
The stars are delighting,
But nothing may replace
The exultation of his presence.

The moon is a beautiful thing in that
As long as there is light in the day
And darkness in night;
As long as there is life in the world
And eyes to see
He will always be there
To guide us through darkness
And to help keep us sane.

I thought these ghosts
were long gone.
I thought I threw them out--
evicted them from my head--
but I was wrong.
They came back to play.
About a month ago
they grabbed onto a nearby shard of glass
and etched their way out of my arm.
Six of them.
Six times
that glass ripped my skin open.
six times
I ripped my skin open.
And I loved it. . . .
every
scratch
made me smile.
They're beautiful.
The evil ghosts,
the ghosts that cry
and ghosts that are mean
and ghosts that are depressed
are gone.
Only the ghosts that laugh were left behind.