Tattered remains of a past that has died, a shell of history
lie on the banks of the skin of my pride
still existing in part of all that I am and have been
wantonly refusing to live on or to die

I see pieces of life floating by on the wreckage and the shame
tumbling under the current passing me by
****** into the whirlpool of remembrance and pain
only felt when I close my eyes

Now who is to say where the bitter wreckage should lie
as I cling to the remembrance of pain
floating like driftwood onto the banks of my pride
stealing the will to remain

There are screams in my head to remember or forget
or just accept them as part of my own
as I open my eyes and let go of the banks of my pride
I see the tattered remains of my past move on

Freedom slid behind the slats
of yesterday’s desires
Now I cannot see to change the scene
or reignite the fire

I am running backwards into time
refusing to slow down
Chasing dreams that disappeared
into the sinking ground

The sky has swallowed my pretty rainbow
I cannot find my *** of gold
What do I do with myself
when I find I am growing old

I fight the fight of freedom’s way
but yesterday has hidden me
Now I am afraid to change or reignite the scene
that was a part of me

I talk and talk to these walls
that only close and confine
If I do not change some of these things
I will surely lose my mind

The street was dark with bitter pain echoing from the pavement
screaming out the coldness to my name
I walked only one step ahead of the darkness that surrounded
this part of my life I call the night of desperate games

Approaching wheels spin in contrast with the stillness there
replacing screams of silence rapidly
I lie hidden in the shadows of fear and all of my regrets
completely shunned and unaccepted by society

I was running from my existence, afraid I would be caught
captured by my own identity
remaining hidden in the shadows of my fear and my regrets
too ashamed to even, take a look at me

Brakes squealing in the distance, yet not too far from me
the hedge I am hiding behind, is never quite enough
to hide from this existence, I have running after me
I think I’ve reached, the end of my luck

You steal the pain from my fevered brow temporarily
as I wash you down with the magic in my glass
then rock my world into hell and back with a newfound pain
when I awake and cannot find my ***

Still, I seek you constantly to numb me from my pain
to make me not feel this world I live in
then turn my world upside down in ruin and devastation
when I awake and feel the pain again

I love you and I hate you for what you do to me
this misery and ecstasy I have found
yet still I will not forsake you no matter what you do
I’ll still smile and wash you right back down

You have taken me to places, I said I would never roam
grinning as you watched me sell my soul
still I will not forsake you as I love you and I hate you
come on in, I will let you take control