I know only this,
With you died my bliss.
Why had you to go,
When I loved you so?

What in my love
Was there not enough of
For you not to see
You were needed by me?

Just a selfish act
Without thought of impact,
Of how it would destroy
Me, your little boy?

I want you back
From your self-attack,
From your self-hate.
Come out of that crate!

I won't let them bury you
Or away let them to carry you
I refuse to desert
My daddy to dirt.

Why did you flee
In a way which would be
Such forever unending a leave
Bequeathing me only to grieve?

Why did you hate me
Leave me, forsake me?
I loved you with all that I had,
Daddy forgive me if I made you mad.

Come back poppa, please
I'm here on my knees
Begging, please don't be gone;
Tell me this is just some con.

I Loved You! I Love You!
I Hate that I Love You!
For now love is only deep pain
From love now there's nothing to gain.

-From the Author-

And hopefully this
Explains why I dis,
And will have no pity
For a 'poetic' suicide ditty.

Just such selfish gusts
From self-absorbed egotists
Playing as the word is a toy
That wrecked the heart of this boy.

Cannot believe that it came from your lips
When we have survived so many hardships
Weathered together such crazy life storms
Now comes in anger, that word that deforms.

In heated battles, we've cussed all we could
Every word used that we knew never should
But that word, that word, you screamed it at me -
The one whose lover till death you would be?

Burnt skin by hot coals in fires on dunes -
Nothing compared to the burn of these wounds.
Wish you had rather thrown at me a dish
Or used a gun to say "I will end this!"

Did you really? Is that what you said, love?
Did you scream that while the knife you did shove?
How could you? How would you? Yeah, perfect I'm not.
Feeling the slice, seeing drip the red blots.

Sobbing and puking as my ribs you part
To reach in my chest and tear out my heart.
Ten years of marriage, together fifteen,
Fights, we've had many, but this - what a scene!

You hate me? You HATE me? Oh sh*t! It's true.
Without you I won't know how to make do.
Oh dearest light of my life what's this pain?
Your love the rare thing I could count as gain.

That word we had sworn we never would use;
You used as the sword my soul to abuse.
It is a cut that you cannot undue.
I love you! I LOVE you! Please know that's true.

Perhaps now you do know my love is true,
Holding my heart in your hands, as you do?
****** mess made ripping it from my chest;
Sending me off to an untimely rest.

Now dead, I can see. I know it's not hate.
My pooled blood now given your tears as playmate
Long crimson pink lines now your face striate
Soon you will join me, in death I await.

Feet shod in mud
From chasing frogs
And dreams in a
World all his own.

Sweat pouring out
Young pores chasing
Flows of futures
As yet unknown.

Tight embraces
Of soon strong arms
Swelling pride in
A father's heart.

Wood and leather
Worked to tough threads
Of faith in his
Aspirations.

Grass stains on knees
Bending the world
To his purpose.
Moved by his dreams.

Anthems of hope
Sung in his heart
Lifting dad's soul
to love's high planes.

Secrets of love
And compassion
Modesty hides,
Are known to all.

Pursuing his
Dreams in mud-soaked
Worlds of slick frogs.
His world to own.

You were a part of my soul.
A part I gave with joy
So to see your life unfold.

Then came the horrid day
When you poured that part away
In blood from your cut veins.

I miss you so much
My princess, daddy's girl;
Your gentle kiss goodnight.

I wish that my love
Could have healed your despair.
I wish that just love was enough!

But my love could not.
It was not enough to save you
From that monster they tried as a child.

From that evil boy
Who ripped up your mind
As he tore your dress away.

My heart stills hears your screams,
As he was eating your soul
"Daddy, please, come save me."

I could not save you!
NO! NO! God NO! Please!
Not my precious child!

I come now to your stone
Because I want you know
He's buried alive, far from you.

And all that is left
Of my soul is now gone.
The full price for my vengeance's reward.

Crashing, Crashing, Crashing
Breaking on the floor
Here now skirt a plate, a cup
I think we're now at war

Tearing, Ripping, Cutting
Ruining my soul
Here now blurt a hate, a curse
I know we are no more.

Yelling, Screaming, Yelling
Hurting all we can
Hear overt the hidden heart
It me who you abhor.

Goodbye, Goodnight, Good riddance.

Buzzing, like bees fresh from a field of clover blooms -
The beautiful din of childhood conversation.
Sweet frosting dripping through layers of love baked cakes.
The smell of beeswax melting to puddles in flames.

Colors, akin to the late evenings proudest show,
Waiting to be ripped apart to reveal their gifts,
And streaming across the room in wisps of wishes
From family and friends making happy memories.

The jubilant ring of children singing brightly.
The sudden hush as hopes and dreams are planted.
A mighty breeze of faith, held for a year, exhaled.
Lights of age extinguished, replaced by childlike glee.

Scooped frozen cream with slices of honeyed layers -
Plated, shared, enjoyed by young and mature alike.
These, a very taste of wide-eyed innocence and sweet
Memory of bygone years spent loved and nurtured.