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Rose Eastridge Apr 2016
What an honor                                                                                  
It would be                                                                                          
To inspire someone                                                                            
Lost and suffering                                                                              

Trapped in their own mind
Of relentless criticism
Who would have guessed the semicolon
Would hold such symbolism

This desire I have
To change just one life
May not affect the world
But it would ease their strife

Because I know what it’s like to be exhausted
At the end of every day
With no other reason than the constant war
Of keeping my demons at bay

How incredible it would be
To stop measuring my self worth
By judgments and comparisons
With everyone else on earth

To stop unearthing past mistakes
Then uprooting the pleasant memories
And throwing them aside
As a gardener does with vexatious weeds

Constantly tortured by little things
Until it's miserable to survive
Sweetheart don't you realize
It's a privilege to be alive

Why is it we search for happiness
Like its something waiting to be found
When it is only from the inside
That we can turn our thoughts around

My dear, please don't give in
You don't have to feel this way
The demons may be frightening
But you have the final say

No matter what they say to you
It's you who has control
Don't let them turn your soft, kind heart
Into a numb black hole

The numb black hole
I know it well
Then waves of pain
Like an ocean swell

Just as tides come and go
Your darkness will too
As long as you keep fighting
The whole way through

Keep your thoughts positive
It is your mind you must transform
For there are always blue skies
After every storm

Your sorrows may not be gone for good
But you have a bright future ahead
Inspire others to change their thoughts
And dry the tears they’ve shed
Rose Eastridge Apr 2016
To this day he remembers the first time he saw her
Her wild eyes gazing back at him from across the room
And he immediately knew she was different
Deep inside him was an awareness of the inevitable
But he was hypnotized by her grace
Her majestic movement, fluid as the tide, drifting towards him

He remembers the first time his somber gaze strayed to her lips
And her euphoric laughter; a contagion
She was always high on the simple fact of existence
Never taking a moment for granted
And living each as if she expected it to be her last

He remembers her kisses, sweet as honey
Her lips a deep burgundy like red wine
The late star speckled nights that turned to lazy early mornings
Sunrises and sunsets
Magic and madness
She was his world
She was his sense of belonging

He remembers the day he found her
Curled in a corner
When he came home early from work
Tears streaming down her face
And the irreversible marks of a sharp edge
And fresh crimson on her wrists
Her cryptic mind always a mystery

He remembers her last breath
On that ordinary Saturday afternoon
While he grasped her in his arms
And begged her not to leave him

He remembers his heart shattering like a million glass shards
As he watched ever so quietly  
Her pale eyelids close
And her soul fade away
Rose Eastridge Apr 2016
If I were you
And you were me
I'd tell you all the possibilities
"Take my hand
Let's fly away
We'll go to Neverland"
I'd say

Escape the dark
Escape the screams
Escape your thoughts
Escape your dreams

Get lost in the magic
Of freedom and peace
You may not realize
But your health will decrease

"That's alright"
You say to me
But have you lost your sanity?

If I were you
And you were me
I'd look into your eyes
And see
Laughter, smiles, adventures await
If only you believed in fate

If I were you
And you were me
I'd look into your soul
And see
The flame that used to
Shine so bright
Is slowly burning out
Each night

If I were you
And you were me
I'd look into your mind
And see
Twisted distortions of beauty and love
A self hatred so strong
You could not let go of

You punish yourself
For your failures and words
Regretting your meal
And regretting the purge
There is a song that perfectly describes
The way you feel
And what you hide

If I were you
And you were me
I would ask you...quietly
"How does someone so perfect
Feel so insecure
As to scar her own skin
With cuts and burns
And still want to hurt more?
How does someone so loving
Learn to hate herself so much?"
Drawing a picture on her arms with a blade
As if her mind
Wasn't dark enough

If I were you
And you were me
I'd tell you...
"It will be alright-
Just wait and see"

But I'm not you
And you're not me
Rose Eastridge Apr 2016
I met this girl named Ana
She has a sister you may know
Who loves to take advantage
Of my thoughts when I'm alone

Ugly, ****** up, fat
Are the common ones I hear
And as they spin around my head
It all seems very clear

With every calorie
Every bite
She always seems
To win the fight
Go back in time
Erase the meal
She doesn't care how gross I feel

Pointing out my perfect friends
Pretty, thin, and tall
I agree that my addiction
Is the smallest flaw of all

I'd love to drown my demons
In the rivers of my tears
The fact that they can swim and hide
Overcomes me with fear

The hatred never settles
But just when you think
She's gone away
She turns a blissful moment
Into the worst of all your days

She seemed so very nice at first
So smart with great advice
The only catch to her sweet words
Is the need for sacrifice

My stomach hurts
There's blood in the sink
I can only imagine
What others would think

I'm scared of her now-
She won't get out of my head
I'm starting to realize
She just wants me dead

Call me a prisoner
Her secret slave
I don't know how much longer
I can keep pretending to be
Brave
Rose Eastridge Apr 2016
Damaged souls
Falling briskly in love
As the heavens do to earth
On a cloudless night
Lovely is the madness that intertwines their minds
An intimacy of which
Is neither materialistic nor vein
Beneath withered smiles and tired eyes
Lay magic only they could see
Secrets and memories
And wild, wild adventures
A serendipitous connection
Known to crumble walls
And stitch together
Shattered lives

Maybe we are only broken
To find our other piece

— The End —