How am I supposed to
get over you, when you are always there?
When you are with my best friend?

Hearing your tight lipped laugh
rips me apart.
My best friend is now called
your girlfriend.
You are now my childhood night terror,
my embarrassing memory,
the scar on my forehead that never quite healed correctly.

You are now the awkward, off limits subject
we can't talk about.
You are now the name people feel uncomfortable
uttering around me.
You have embedded yourself so deeply
into me
that I think I'm stuck with you
forever.

I

I am but a vessel,
nothing but insides,
realizing size
matters
when the squirrels
come by,
hungry.

II

Having survived
adolescence, I
compete with my
friends for light.
They grow,
so I must, too.

III

Standing tall,
I realize, above all,
I wasted my time here,
waiting for time's ear
to turn towards me,
giving me somewhere
to shout my worth
into the Earth.

IV

As I watch myself
tumble backwards,
I would cry if I could.
In my prime,
perfect--
for a bookshelf.

V

So now, I have to carry
burdens
that aren't mine,
knowledge
that I can't know,
and dreams
that I can't tie ropes from
and swing.

VI

Forsaken.
No room among sorrow
for fleeting hope.
Fallen friends,
brought here by
similar misfortune,
will be here still tonight,
waiting for their ends.

VII

I am dirt,
nothing but
what crawls through me.
But I am not alone.
A vessel,
blown in by the wind,
cradled in my embrace.
I admire its cunning,
its determined hope--
but as it grows,
I look back on days gone
with envy and repose
of the life I pass on.

The fountains mingle with the river
And the rivers with the ocean,
The winds of Heaven mix for ever
With a sweet emotion;
Nothing in the world is single,
All things by a law divine
In one spirit meet and mingle—
Why not I with thine?

See the mountains kiss high Heaven
And the waves clasp one another;
No sister-flower would be forgiven
If it disdained its brother;
And the sunlight clasps the earth,
And the moonbeams kiss the sea—
What are all these kissings worth
If thou kiss not me?

love is believable
in every moment of exhaustion
in every heartbroken home
in every dark spirit,
the meaning unfolds...

...in every night that sings
of tomorrow. in every suicide
i carry deep inside my head.
in every lonely smile
that plays across my lips.
love is believable i tell you,
in every scrap of history,
in every sheen of want.

what can be wrong
that some days i have a tough time
believing.
and in each chamber of my heart
i pray.

hide me on your mind
hit me at your heart
beneath our skin
beyond our sky

blowing thru move
sounding true love
try me in your find
lost me into yous

heart’*****
mind’s hide

above
  mean
    wide
      bluesssssss

I'm just so tired
I can't wait,
I don't want to wait
I want it now.
I want to get away
Away from it all
Set free, be free
Let go.
But I want you there, too.
The problem is,
the dilemma is,
the trouble is,
I just can't seem to find you.
With glimpses I see ogres.
And they are not you.
I just can't seem to find you.
No matter the time spent,
Even with the short glimpses of you,
they fade,
it seems as if you can't be found.
Impossible. Impractical. Useless.
Do you want to be found?
Must it be this hard
to find you?
Centuries spent
walking through this tunnel of thought
the one that curves and spirals
the one that is dim
the one that is cold
the one that just doesn't end.
I want it to end.


I'm just so tired.