Isn't an odd thing, an entirely new thing, or disorienting
But my head is spinning and my guts are churning
Because I cannot call you. My fingertips are stuck on the first few numbers
And the key
For the padlocked zip on my mouth...
I threw it away, out in the trash.
Along with all the common sense and hope for us I had.
The blame lies with me.
It festers within my growing limbs
My lightening hair
And the fibers of my fight-or-flight muscles
Honed through experience
Of running into mistakes
And away from confrontation.
Your kind of confrontation.
What's the difference?
They're one and the same
Now that I've changed
For the better.
Just a little spinning oak
Born of strong roots
Destined to decay.
I wanted to be so much
And perhaps I will be kept pressed
In a book
In a romance novel
To mark the page.
Close to the words:
But never quite immersed.
If I could get back all the years that I wasted
On being so perfect for you
It'd be like getting a pension.
Having so many years to spend, all at once.
But all the miles racked behind me
Would just slow me down.
When given a second chance
We rarely seem to take it.
The weary are stuck in their ways.
I hope you die lonely
Without any children.
I want to pack my life in a rucksack
And leave it behind, so I can really travel light.
I hope your wife leaves you
For your brother, like I didn't have the guts to do.
I hope that one day I will be able to
Get the first choice, instead of your left overs.
I wish you don't ever come back to our classes
So people won't think I'm evil.
I stole a shell out of your garden
And gave it to my best friend. We hate each other.
I feel privileged to know that you snore.
And that if
I nudge your cheek with my nose
And squeeze me close -
Crack my spine
And I love that feeling.
And the best thing is
That you don't even know you give me chills.
It takes a talented soul to thrill me when sleeping.
It takes so much courage
And so much faith
In those who don't,
More often than not,
Is left entirely out of the deal
When cold nights
Are made warm
By a body
Who belongs to another girl.
Don't mistake me,
The body is male.
But I stole him
For a while.
I put his heart back.
Maybe we shall see.
Time will tell if the time
I spent wrapped in both
(Because I fit)
Has left tattoos on his skin
The way those hours have
Printed themselves on my
Kisses on my shoulder blade
Kisses on my cheek
Kisses, so many, on my lips
Kisses moving closer to my heart.
It doesn't take much