Rosalind Hawkins

Rosalind Hawkins Jun 2013

ADHD

I can’t sit still,
Pacing round and round,
Feeling like running,
Mind slipping from one thought to another,
Can’t focus unless I’m distracted—
Does that make sense?
Too distracted—no focus now,
No control,
Now I’m ashamed,
Too many things to say,
Too little time,
Forgetting the simplest things
Within seconds.
“Why did I come here again?”
Oh, now I remember.
Never mind, it’s gone.

Still and silent,
My face a calm mask,
Stript of all personality.
Nothing to say,
No urgency to do
Anything.
Do what I’m told,
Have to stay on task,
Pay attention,
Can’t risk a slip,
No time for distractions now,
The medicine won’t allow
It.

Go to school,
No appetite,
Restlessness rising in the afternoon,
Do homework,
Go to bed,
Next morning,
Swallow the pills,
Start all over again.

Does anyone else feel this way?

My story of dealing with ADHD, focusing on the dual aspect of it: without the medicine, versus with the medicine. (No, it's not a drug abuse story.)

Rosalind Hawkins Jun 2013

Something Is Loose

You knocked something loose inside myself,
Something hidden and hard to reach,

The day I met you, I found myself,
It must have been something in your speech,

You stood in front of the class, a picture of poise,
Your tone so refined, and gestures just right,

The moment you spoke met the death of other noise,
The ideas you conveyed were so bright,

They reached down into the deep pit of my soul,
Turning my darkness to light,

You changed me that day that you spoke to us all,
Changed me with your incredible insight,

Those words were not meant for me,
Though they seemed to be,

And I wish I could say just what was knocked loose,
Inside of my soul that very day,

But, truth is, I don't know,
But I'm bound to discover it, someday, some way,

And when I do, I'll tell you,
I'll tell him too,

And thank him for the words,
That he said that day.

A story about transformation and reflection within oneself.

Rosalind Hawkins May 2013

Bitterness or Forgiveness?

Bitterness:
Harbouring a slight
Within one’s heart.

Forgiveness:
Covered up with white
Time to restart.

This was inspired by my own bitterness towards someone who is, to say the least, highly inconsiderate. I've been trying to forgive her for more than two years now, and it's still not working. I actually thought that I had forgiven her, at one point, but then she proved herself to be just as bad, if not worse, than she used to be. She's just one of the several reasons I'm not a huge fan of people . . .

Rosalind Hawkins May 2013

Carnivals & Rollercoasters

Up, down, all around,
Twirling, whirling, blurs of sound,
Din of colours, clashing loud,

Speed rushing,
Time pulling,
Air flowing,

Gliding upwards,
Sky so blue,
Flying downwards,
See you soon,

Laughter floating all around,
Scents dancing home from town,

Pink clouds sold on sticks,
Enchanted by magic tricks,

Music falling to the ground,
Happiness all around.

Might I say, without appearing too proud, that I am sincerely pleased with how this turned out?

Please leave good comments, with helpful, constructive criticism.

Rosalind Hawkins May 2013

Idea

If an idea
upon its genesis
goes
unspoken,
unwritten,
uncaptured,
unknown,
it will perish
in a puff of smoke
like water
in a summer’s drought.

Rosalind Hawkins May 2013

Indigo Sky

The stars in the sky,
Pinpoints of light,
Cold, hard,
Brilliant, bright,
Diamonds, fire,
They last forever,
The royal court,
Of the indigo sky,
Their queen, the moon,
Sometimes shy,
Sometimes bold,
Sometimes she hides,
But she is always there,
With her face so fair,
To watch o'er us,
Everywhere.

This poem was first posted under my AllPoetry.com account [username: birchstar97].

Rosalind Hawkins May 2013

Fear

I feel so vulnerable,
I feel so blind,
A monster behind me,
Or is it in my mind?
Or is it just me?
Is this insanity?

Is there no escape?
Is this my cursed fate?
I feel hot breath on my neck's nape,
Death is all that I await,
Yet, it won't come,

So I must suffer,
And try to be tougher,
And hope to be free soon.

This poem was first posted on my AllPoetry.com account [username: birchstar97].
Inspired by this picture: http://akirakirai.deviantart.com/art/Fear-194527543?q=favby:artist17832/50311702&qo;=29
This image really sent me to a totally new place, emotionally. If you have any ideas for an additional stanza, please let me know. : ) Oh, and please comment with some constructive criticism!