Simple words
can make you fall
hard in love.

I hate how i'm in love with his voice
his accent
the way he speaks
not just to me
but to everyone
to the world
I hate it
it makes me fall for him
so hard
and it hurts
to know that I can never have him
I will never call him mine
I'll never have a future with him
It's impossible
I hate how his voice reminds me of that.

Why do I always have to sort out other people's problems?
I'm not a counsellor
I'm not a psychiatrist
I'm not even a helpful person
I'm not qualified to sort out your life
Hell, I can barely sort out my own
I don't want children
Why do I always have to act like a mother to everyone?

I haven't got out of bed in 3 days
I don't want to
I don't want to see anyone
I don't want to make pointless conversation about how your christmas was
I don't want to hear about how great your life is or about the family you claim to love but **** off most of the time
I don't want to know that you passed all of your exams without even trying
So don't push a note under my door asking if i'm ok
I'm fine
I just don't want to talk to you

It's warm outside.

But I'm still so cold inside.

Emotional attachement scares me
It's not just the thought of giving everything to someone.
It's the idea of that person being your last.
Of never getting away from that person.
Of never being able to give it all to someone else.

I'd rather be alone.

I cover my walls in photographs -
of friends from times gone by
of family from happier times.
But I never look happy
Why does my smile always look fake?
I wish I could hide it.