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ronda renee' Dec 2013
difficulty strikes
and you run
turning tail
sailing away
far away

far away
no words could sway
your inner pain
support dismissed
kissed goodbye

hurt not yet realized
outer shell sterilized
showered in luxuries
surely you will someday realize
that little girl u beat
would grow up with inner heat

this heat would grow
growing never fading
the father who was never present
fueling that heat

are you honestly shocked I chose her over you?
she may be a *****
but she would never ditch
leaving because of disagreements
always staying

supporting
punishing
training
for the future
finer things not present
and not important
struggling but staying

you gave up the right
and the sight
of that scared little girl
growing into a young woman

oh! you think the way im being raised is wrong?
that's ok!
you have no say
she's doing a bad job is she!?
like you could have done better?
ha! that's funny!
you fail to realize I have changed
and you are to blame

that shy sweet girl is gone
never to return
ashes long since burned
makes your stomach churn
missing all these milestones

but you were absent
it may have been a god sent
that anger never present
personality never suppressed
all because of your issues

pregnant by 16 you say?
im smarter than you think
freedom doesn't equate to mistake
why make this complaint?
as if you cared

did guilt rear its face?
its about time you showed humanity
worry less about vanity
its harmful to your sanity
wishing for clarity

your absence not forgotten
used to strengthen
you were absent
u don't even realize
you will struggle worse that I
I have few memories of you
you will miss me
its not my fault you ran like a *****
ronda renee' Dec 2013
First I'm a *****
With no filter
Not carrying about others

Then I'm anti social
I don't say enough
I hide

I hide because I'm scared
Scared that you will leave me
I'll b alone again

I don't think I could handle another parent leaving
Because of me
I know I'm not perfect

I would never lie and say I was
But I won't keep changing me
For you

Make up your mind
Choose which ME you want see
ronda renee' Feb 2014
I'm terrified of what will happen
When you realize I'm not what you fantasized
I don't know why I can't just put aside my pride
Maybe I'm scared

Scared i'll be discarded
When you get what you wanted
Because then I'll be haunted and terrified
That someone will see the lies
Which I hide inside

My mind won't be changed
Even if you claim nothing will change
I would blame myself for being weak
Not just weak at the knees like you make me
ronda renee' Feb 2014
Stereotypes are a   commodity
Stereotypically
My childhood should be filled with only happiness
Happiness because of my color
No struggle

Struggle should never have confronted me
Never should have shown me how to survive
Or how to better myself
Because me being me I realize

I realize the uneducated hide
Hide behind stereotypes the unconsciously enforce
Enforcing by proving the statistics and stereotypes
Statistics and stereotypes that have to have an origin

If you judge me by stereotypes
You will fail to realize
The stereotypes you fight to uphold
will never define me

I will succeed not because of my color
Or because of a stereotype
I will accomplish my goals
Only because I refuse to let others limit
The excellence I can achieve
By pushing stereotypes that hold hardly any truth onto me

— The End —