There was a truck, a chorrie
Some people would call it a lorry
It backfired one day
And was heard to say,
‘Jislaaik, I’m  blerry sorry.’

A battered VW Beetle named Dusty
Whose bodywork was decidedly rusty
        Still was able to travel
On tarmac and gravel
In a manner observably trusty.

There was a girl named Louise
Who sat amongst the trees
She had a dream
About peaches and cream
And suddenly she began to sneeze

A man ate some mustard
Instead of some custard
Without even a frown
He just gulped it down
Saying, “My insides won’t get rusted.”

There was a lady of Lenz
who had 4000 hens
she gathered the eggs
and sold ‘em in kegs
she now drives a Mercedes Benz.

Good old Ludwig von Beethoven
Wrote music that was greathoven
His deafness didn’t preclude
The greatness of this dude
But now, alas, he is latehoven

A bored old codger from the East
One day ate a barrel of yeast
He began to perspire
The prelude to expire
But he rose quite well, at least!

There was a man from York
Who ate his knife and fork
He swallowed a plate
At half past eight
And now he’s chewing a cork

There was the oddest bloke
Who had a bath in Coke
He licked himself dry
And with a little cry
He exploded in a cloud of smoke.

A nice young fellow from Sabie
Sent a letter to Robert Mugabe
It said, “Now you are King
And doing your thing
May I sell you a derby?"

There was a man from Darling*
Who stole a case of Carling ~
He drank it all up
In a small plastic cup
And then was led away, snarling.

A composer frans liszt
Came home from the inn quite piszt
That night he’d sung
On the top of his lungs
And pounded drums with his fistz

There was a silly old whale
Who went to a bargain sale
He bought a coat
On which he wrote
“In case I get caught in a gale.”

There was a man called Venter
Who married an old yenta
He became Magaya
And said, “I’m no liar,
My name has changed to Centner!”

There was a young lady called B
Who had an urgent desire to P
There was no toilet around
So she used the ground
What a sight that was to C

There was a girl called Monique
Who got struck dumb at the biblioteek*
She saw a **** book
And after one look
She ran out screaming eek, eek, eek!