bruised and broken
lying on peach colored sheets
the sunlight shining in illuminating her face
she felt at peace
and she felt as if the whole world was crashing
down
on her

she wondered how these feelings
could both manifest inside her at the same time
and she thought that if she felt like this forever
it would be painful
like an unrequited love
or an undeserving heartbreak

she didn't figure anything out
about herself
her feelings
or her life
so she's stuck in a limbo
between okay
and insane

even though
we never spoke
never kissed
never loved
I think about you
all the time

I can't help
but admit
I'm addicted to the way you act
and the way you
brush your fingers through your hair

we have so much
uncharted
undiscovered
potential
but we have learned
to fear the unknown

so for now
and perhaps forever
I will admire you
from afar

because you are my
light
and my
darkness
but you don't even know I'm here

the blooming of flowers
in the cool, breeze filled spring
brought me hope
and small joyful feelings
leaving me excited
and for the first time in a while
happy

the cool feel of the ocean
splashing on my skin
the sand between my toes
and the sun's rays filling me with life
make me laugh
and giggle
and I knew that summer was my favorite season

the coolness of autumn
the browning of the leaves
left me a little sad
and the start of yet another school year
filled me with a sense of dread
I had not felt for almost
three whole months

the cold harsh winter
invading my life
stole my hope
and left my dreams out in the
freezing winter storms
I froze from the inside out
and I was burnt by ice
I could no longer live as I wanted to
and I fell into a deep dark place
I thought I'd left forever
but when I hit the ground I didn't stay
I broke into a million pieces
ice shatters and
I
was
frozen

never again would I see the
spring flowers bloom
the magnificent waves of the ocean
the browning leaves fall from the trees
or even that harsh winter blizzard that put me here
I was gone

she sat outside in the grass
under the shade of an old oak tree
she read books in the forest
and sat on a vintage bench swing
she put flowers in her hair
and sung along with the birds

all the while
she dreamed about traveling
she dreamed about peace
she wondered if she would ever help the world
she dreamed about dying
and she dreamed about peace
she wondered what was wrong with hr