I wanted an afternoon
An afternoon was all
A stroll through distraction
Some paintings on a wall

All I wanted was an ornament
To brighten up a room
Instead I bought a boquet
One for me, one for you

It's temporary
Yes it is
To hang in windows and dry
But what a beautiful, lingering way to go
What an excellent way to die

I set out on certainty to
Find myself a blend
Life's a dash,
A one line race
So let your fingers touch the end

Toss your hair and bend the straight
Don't color in lines and out-run fate

Learn that a race is only won when there's two
And learn that though there's anyone, there will always be you

So sure.
Make sense of the theories you'll never define
But I won't trust anyone
Unless that anyone's mine.

The other day you turned your head
And looked at me
Nostalgia clouds my memory
The recoveries I've conjured are
Pointless, as I find you

I remembered your meter
I remembered your lines
As cut and sculpted as I recollect
Your control is spectacular
Teach me what you know

We are so young yet
Feel so done
Each milestone wraps a bow
Around an old run finalized
Let's take the new one for a spin
A journey untouched is just one to begin

We've waded in the waters of everyday
So boring, so gray
We want alochol!
The ferment of life,
Let me lull in it all
Let me dive in and feel
The bubbles in my nose
The fizzing of my mind
The growing of my carelessness
The numbing of my toes

Sip it, hold the fruit of life
It's heavy and dense but easy to slice
The skin is a facade, a
Surface just longing
To be punctured
Be prodded
Peel away all its wronged

So strange
How the flesh of our lives is repitition unearthed
But from my deirvation,
A new life,
I give birth.

The emotion
Of what I've become
Is something of a pendulum
I drift in lows and soar when high
I move, unless disturbed

If you'd like to feel my pressure
Feel the weight of keeping time
You can hold me all you'd like but
Hold me by the chain. At times
It seems like a boundary
But I take precaution
When healthy heart beats tug my core
Because if you hold me
Feel me
Knead me in your hands, you'll find the sharp point
Of what I'm living for

It may seem teasing
Delaying or sly
But I'm messy, so restless
Just test me
Swaying is what I do the best.

We've had our bout
Gone our route
Discovered some functions we
Can't live without
Made our spill and soaked the stain
Had our kisses in the rain
Found the grain that splits us quickest
Picked up thick-skinned suits to slip in
I've had alone, we've met before
Yes I've had alone

We made the discovery that had no end
Created a world of pure pretend
Found some mess and made her a lover
But the dirt clings tight and soils and bends
Coy coincidence made me a friend

So let's close the door and never look back
It is fruit of my labor
To taste with the sanity we lack
Attack of the mind may join hands at a time like now
Let's throw our smile at the light and crumble in for a bow
Let us say with certainty that we will never mix
But certainty is only valid
Until I find the fix.

I've checked into a place
Much like this before
The furniture lined with restriction
Woven worries don the upholstery at the floor
It is a waiting room white as tight knuckle skin
Black diamonds adorn the door
There is a small zen garden
In the corner, on a table
Existing but for use as nothing
It contains no sand or rocks or rake
Delicate plant life around the room
But not a drop of soil at its base
A bowl of peppermints, but only for those with
An acquired taste

Familiarity takes a swig
Burns in the tummy
Of the hearth of the room
Only here does the fire stay cold
And only here is the news always old.

Sick and tired
Of being good at looking fine
Where should my heavy head go when I cry?
Not on a shoulder
You're not showing the signs

How odd that it is that
When you talk about your's
And I talk about mine
We're speaking in differing tongues, and times
Mine is far back down the line

Where is my circle of sobbing friends?
My pats on the back,
Or someone other than my mother
To keep me on track
Someone other than a figure
Glasses, sweater
That can trigger progression
Without stripping my family
Of groceries for the week

Where is the understanding
That I was indeed in love
To the point where I panicked
Flew a line
Blew my sanity
And ran it all the way back to what
I must be and remain
Just an awkward, sophomore
Scatterbrain.