dark, silent room
feet tangled in old flannel sheets
slow breathing, deep breathing
arms wrapped around a pillow

but eyes wide open
mind buzzing with discomfort
heart sinking with loneliness
until the sun spills through her window

an old soul trapped inside a 16 year old body
his words poured over her with the deepest devotion
that he could to offer her torn and ragged heart
in the back of her mind, something tugged
and whispered
                 don't let him go
she told him about her deepest fears
and how they came true a year ago
he told her how he'd like to trace the outline of her
on his satin bedspread
until she fell soundly and safely asleep for the first time in months
every morning she woke up and believed the sunlight
peeking through the slits in her curtains
because she knew it was a reflection of him
thinking of her

she sits alone in her bed with the lights on
and wonders where he went and why he went there
whether she had done something wrong or if it was an honest mistake
whether or not the skin on his chest was pure sunshine
like she had always imagined it to be
and most importantly
if she ever crosses his mind

some days i forget
how to love everyone
but you.

I need happy
and sun and breeze and warmth
and slow, steady breathing
I need constant
and true and unfailing
I need willing

I really need touch
to be held, to hold back
to feel your breath over my neck
to feel your lips meet the small of my back
I need my lips grazing your arms
my hands sliding over your chest

I need innocence
I need calm and new and refreshing
and honest and hopeful

Infatuation
Is not a joyful sensation
Because it's a cheap knockoff of love

Love, teenaged or not,
Is similar to being shot
Because it sometimes leads to death