Where has the time gone grandpa ?
Your hair has gone from jet black to salt and peppered.
Did I really miss out on that much?

I guess it has been almost ten years since I last came down for more than a couple days.
I had only been seeing you in the summer , those 3 day escapes on the lake.
Now that I've been working with you for a couple weeks, I can see the wear of all the hard work you've done.

I may have missed out on a lot.
But, now I'm here.
Hoping to make up for missed time.

A chance to wipe away the days messes
Sure , the dings and dents will stay, but the dirt of the day is gone.
A chance for revival, even for just one night.

I still recall what you said.
" I need something else,with someone else."
Each letter a dagger.
Makes my heart weaker every time I think about it.
"Try not to think about it." Everyone says.
I wish it was that easy.

How long will your name create these shadows on the wall?
The thought of you; bring a man, who once thought he was immortal , to his knees ?

The wolf, once so excited to see the moon, can barely look at it without feeling gloom.

I may only be 20.
But if you'd look in my mind,
You'd be shocked what you find.
The things you'd see.
Would make you want to go blind.
So many things kept locked up.
And I won't be shook,
To give up the key.

It coulda been three years today, but instead we gave each other tears.

Hey you, I know you won't hear this, but I miss you a lot.
Life has been weird since you went and knocked off my socks.
It's crazy how far in the rocks I've landed.

Re read the letters.
There's bound to be some magic,
Left over from a kiss, or a passionate night.
It might just be overlooked.
Take a peak.
Read the spaces in between the lines, though they are empty, they say the most.
Try it slowly , or just a quick skim.
There's still time.
Wear my shirt.
Draw in the last scent of me in it , with your last breath.
Hold that necklace.
Feel the burning metal, let it reignite you.
Try the rings.
Perhaps it'll make you grin.
Don't let it die , don't let it fall.
I'm still here to catch you in spite of it all.

I said "give me a year to give you a ring. "
You said you couldn't.
I should have given you that ring the minute you brought it up.

A mattress on the floor.
A sofa with no tv to look at.
Just each other,the lamp, and the Polaroids on the wall.

Things will get better.
Hell, the Cubs just won the World Series.
It just takes time.

I shouldn't be here.


I should still be with Alyna.  
In South Carolina.
Or in our second apartment in Minnesota.

I've messed up so much.
Those girls never mattered.
Never would've gave me the love she had for me.

I was blind, and stupid.
We could've had everything.

I don't deserve another chance , but here I am looking for one. I can't handle the thought of her or Kirbie being with someone else.

I don't know what's scarier , the kids in their costumes. Or the thought of being without you.

Your face how it shines
Your lips upon my skin
Is all that I dream

Will you think of me in each passing car ?
Hoping to see me in them.
For you, I'm never very far.
We may ask how we've been.
Those aren't the sentences our lips wish to speak.
At least not mine.

I thought I had found love , that's was until I saw your beautiful brown eyes.
I thought I had found love , until I felt your touch.
I thought I had found love, then you kissed me.