You've become
Simply a trophy of someone's hunt
Just a notch
Carved in the end of a lover's knife
Take your skin
Lay it down over the splintered floor
Use your blood
Coat the walls over with rusty red
Break your bones
Wear them in jewelry around your neck
And remind yourself
Of what it once was

I won't love you
Like the bee loves the flower
With mindless attraction
I will think of you
Hour after hour after hour
With countless and conscious devotion

I won't love you
Like the desert loves the rain
When it falls after months of waiting
I will long for you like it
When our distance is too great
And preserve every moment in a timeless memory

I won't love you
Like the volume of the ocean
Fading from blue to abyssal black
Your essence will engulf me
Encompassing every aspect of my being
Still holding dear the shimmer of your hair in the sun

I won't love you
Like any poet has ever scribed
Or dreamed of loving anything
I will simply hold you close
Take one deep breath
And whisper in your ear all the things they wish they could whisper

I won't love you
With the devotion of a man of cloth
In his compassion for a Greater Power
I will believe in us
As many have for centuries
So much so that our love will be worshipped

Use me
As you would a napkin
To remove excess mascara
As a blanket
To warm you when the heat is off
Like a chauffeur
To drive you to the edge of the atmosphere

Use me
Like a bandage
To heal your wounds
In a cocktail
To achieve that buzz
In a sentence
To appear more hip

Use me
At all hours
As I never sleep
With no remorse
As I am heartless
With caution
As I am flammable

Use me
Like poison
For your enemies
Like a gun
When it seems bleak
Like formaldehyde
To stay young forever

They call to our conscience
Believing lies of which they constructed
Speaking of the end
As if they know
Why we tick
What we stand for
And how we were built

They engineer misfortune
The pain of a swollen stomach
The heartache of a lover's leaving
The absence of warmth
They tell you how suffering is key
To your happiness
To Enlightenment

We abide by laws
We are taught how to love
To live
To die
To endure the smell of the twisted essence of affliction
And for what?
For whom?

There is no governing divinity
Morality is out with bell bottoms
We suffer
We'll endure
You'll wash your hands

Dial me on your radio
That way I'm not too far
You can hear me singing songs
About good times and how
I miss you so

At one hundred Megahertz
I'll sing you all the songs
You've never heard me sing
And read you all the poems
I've never read

If you tune in late at night
Put your ear up to the speaker
I'll whisper in it
All those explicit things
I always said

Though.

The speed of light is not
Quick enough to relay my words
And wavelengths to shallow to convey
All those unsaid words
To you in the past.

Dial me on your speaker-box
I promise only to say
All the words you want to hear
All the songs that I should sing
To make you smile
With nothing else to cloud it

That's if you want to listen
And if you use the radio
I built with our connection
My passion the transmission
Your body the antenna

Look at those stars
Take a deep breath
Think about old flames
Dance with the dead

See in new colors
In luminous greens
Speak in tongues
Only you understand

Ramble on about nothing
As you often do
Apologize after
Hope it's excused

Breath deeper this time
Let it all fall
Don't think too hard
Unravel space and time

Take shelter
Find comfort
Keep saying to yourself
You aren't alone

Panic when you realize you are
Stumble
Try to find who you've lost
Fail

Cry as loud as you can
No one can hear you
No one cares to
You are now dead to everyone

If there is one thing I've learned
In the past few weeks
It's the only encouragement
You are capable of giving
Are those kicks to the ribs
When I'm down on the ground
Or
It's horoscopes and fortunes
Only grant truth to those
Like pipe dreams come true
Because we are all searching for something
Deep inside the plumbing

If there is one thing I've learned
In the last few months
It's hope is not hope if it's broken
That evanescent idea in my head
Of happiness being at the end of the tunnel
And not inside me is wrong
Or
It's everyone has an agenda
And regardless of their philanthropy
They are in it for themselves.

If there is one things I have learned
In the past few years, it's
Love is both existential and theoretical
It is not for the faint of heart
It is for those who have had theirs made strong
Through scarring and wounds
From having their ventricles punctured
By cherub's arrows and constantly having them removed.
Or
Love is a war
And only those in its wake of misery
Will truly understand it
Once they have its warmth
In their arms.

If I understand only one thing
Throughout my entire life
It would be "I love you"
Should never be an obligation
Nor a recursion
Nor a simple statement
Said to make one feel better
Or
When trumpets blare
And violins sing
And such crescendo swells
Until such music leaves you
Breathless and without thought
Only then will you feel like I felt
In your arms

I love you
But I'm not in love with you
Words too familiar
Sounds too similar

I know you
But you don't know me
And you never will
The thought of it scares you

I'm deep
Only deeper than your depth of comfort
If you want to know me
You will have to submerge

No matter what you do
No matter what your say
I will always be there
In every every single way

I will always love you
And treat you as you should
Be treated and you know this
So why should I repeat it?

A poet
A painter
A reader of dreams
She sings to me when
We are in between sheets

We can speak in tongues
Or just by ****** features
I'll read you and you'll read me

Her voice
Her scent
Her body beguiles
It leaves you speechless
With blood in your mouth

I wander confused
Or maybe caught by surprise
Maybe nothing was happening

This sweet
This soft
This delicate lady
Has thorns like a rose
Primed to inject venom

No remedy in sight
Or I'm just nearsighted
Is this all just a dream?

I won't sleep tonight
   Because I can't do so
       In your arms
   Because my bed
       Is too cold

I'll stare at the ceiling
   Because I can't
       Hear your breathing
   Or feel the rising
       Of your chest on mine

I'll be awake for days
   Since I cannot find one to
       Occupy the this vacancy
   Someone to clot
       This open wound

I'll bleed to death
   Not from thinning blood
       From trauma and not enough
   Arms to pat me
       On the back

I'll rise out of my
   Lifeless husk and
       Show you what you're missing
   Look inside yourself
       Now you know what could have been

A bourbon will do
I think I'll have two
Three ought to make me feel great

But face meets the floor
After I've consumed four
And five makes me act like an ***

Whiskey will nurture me
**** me and torture me
All at the very same time

But that never stops me
From getting scotch in me
My blood becomes thinner than wine

All I want is to hold you
Is that not enough
I could ******* for days
If it's true

I'll treat you like gold
Wrapped in diamonds encased
In a box
Made of glass just for you

But you won't accept it
Since you only know
How you feel
When they're beating your ***

Take it as you will
Truths hurt like a *****
In this case
It hurts so much like you

Stabbing me in the stomach
Without end in sight
Remorseless
Until I deplete

Stop giving me hope
Stop reeling me in
And you know
What you're doing to me

Don't pretend it's OK
That your love's on it's way
It is not
And I realize this now

You just string me along
Like I'm some sort of fool
It's too bad
That I caught on so late

So I'll move along
And you'll miss out the most
Since I'll treat you
The greatest of all

Out of every past love
You will never end up
Feeling better
Than you ever felt

I'll write you a poem
Using only the most
Beautiful of words
The only words that can
Describe the love I have for you
The spaces you occupy
In my heart and soul
Are warmer because you live there

If you write me a story
About anything you choose
About yourself, preferably
About past love and hate
Without time or place
Include vivid images
Of pain and happiness
With whatever colors you see fit

We can create a dream
I'll illustrate it with pastels
You can narrate
I'm apathetic as to
What it looks like
Or what it sounds like
So long as you are there
Building a dream with me

You build me like a tower
Just to cut me at the base
I fall and you come running
To wipe dirt off of my face

This kind of mystifies me
'Cause all the love that I see
Is sweet transcending blissful
Accidents

Then I wonder can I leave
And should I stay
What will happen when I'm gone
Does it matter if I'm here
Or if I'm not

When I am hurt you kick me
And laugh when I grow sickly
From wounds that you reopen
Just to smile

As I pause to take in the view
I quiver in thinking that you
Are somewhere in it
Call me a cynic

Treating me the way that you did
Opened up wounds I felt close as a kid
They aren't bleeding
Only impeding
The growth of my skin

With this hole you left in my days
I am slowly thinking of ways
I'm getting better
Since I met her

She dances like you never danced
Making me so extremely entranced
Seeing her moving
Is improving
The damage you did

Thank you unkind words
That killed it off
If I could rewind
I'd warn myself

You say I need
To find Happiness
So tell me why
You broke my heart

When this fleeting feeling leaves you
I'll regret that I forgave you
So I'll bite my tongue
And fill my mouth with blood
As I watch you pass me by

You say "You're right"
I already knew
Knowing you're wrong
Is nothing new

Treat me unkind
Is what I say
Without a word
It seems to me

Now that this fleeting love escaped you
I lament that I forgave you
I cannot bite my tongue
My mouth's too full of love
I do not want to pass you by

Tonight, we find ourselves intertwined
In painless design, we of bear flesh
Cast onward, searching
You don't speak like I
You refuse what I say
Yet, we continue forward
We crown it all
Finishing in unmannerly discourse
I'll have to pretend
That never happened as well
Even though you leave me cold
And alone to relish in
All of the gorgeous things
That have come and passed
I still love the color of the world
At 5 in the morning

Towards the flame
I'm edging so
I know it burns me
But I want to know
The warmth inside
Its fiery glow
So, marching forward
I blindly go

The tongue it kissed
My finger tips
It singed my skin
And touched my lips
It whispered thoughts
Into my ear
Of perfect love
With one so dear

I bite. It's promise
Seems far too real
To pass up on
This chance to feel
The passion for
This one so sweet
This heat and wonder
Full of deceit

**** this foolish
Heart of mine
It breaks so easy
It takes much time
To mend the wounds
Of blackened lungs
From breathing smoke
Where love has stung.

Tomorrow, I'll forget you
Because you've forgotten me
All of those "I love you"s
Will be lost within my drinks.
I will poison myself
Until your memory expunged
At least I will be happy then

Tomorrow, I won't love you
Since you love someone new
All those moments shared
We had shared in vain
Your gorgeous eyes
Don't smile at me
They burn through my chest

Tomorrow, I stand tall
At the top of a mountain
Just to prove I can without your help
Your memory crossed out
Our love a fleeting thought
I'll find something unique
And you won't be around

We can be crazy together
Just entertain the thought
Two lunatics in tandem
Free-falling towards the sun

We can be crazy together
Demented for each other
With pet giraffes and elephants
We'll dance while on safari

We can be crazy together
Like paired un-matching socks
We'll open up the heavens
With our outlandish thoughts

We can be crazy together
Since love always requires
A fair amount of madness
To fill your heart's desires

The sound of falling water
Inside a wooded gloom
Behind a lowly river
Incites this rose to bloom

Its red glows in the shadows
Of midnight and of fiends
The moon, it shares a pale glow
With rose's crimson dreams

Their shine, it brings one wonder
A lavish light to see
But my eyes, still a blunder
Are searching through the trees

Love is for the insane
For men who feel they
Can build fires underwater
For those speaking in tongues

I wish to learn the language
To slowly climb a mountain
To warm myself undersea
To find bliss in our unmannerly discourse

This wise man knows his foolishness
But continues to advise
In hopes of one day
Following his own teachings

You make my heart soar
High above the clouds
Far higher than vultures
But without of a doubt
My fear of falling reigns
Our bodies intertwine
Like pieces of a puzzle
Like notes in a chord
We resonate
We sing.
A warmth begets my soul
My fear of falling melts

You make my heart sore
Like a prize fighter fought
Like an infected spider bite
Like falling from a thousand stories up
You force me to choke
By my words in my mouth
Always in avoidance
And consumed with doubt
Your poison engages
Not only yourself
But an unsuspecting victim
I seize
I fall
I'm back where you found me
Prone and alone