Excitement keeps me awake readily
Fear ceases it's control
And allows a briefness of avidity
I look to the future
And for once see jubilation
An era of triumph awaits me
Hope squanders my worry
My thoughts for once work in my favor
Without trial
Is this suspense deceived?
Or will my expectations become my fortune?

Snow flakes dance and cover the dead leaves
Bringing brightness on the night before Christmas Eve
The cold is severe
But the crowd is overwhelmed with cheer
Red and green decorate cities and houses
While husbands wear the sweaters bought by their spouses
Lights and ornaments hang on the trees
Illuminating the holiday festivities
Voices of glee fill the night air
And children roam the parks without a care
Songs of delight travel through the masses
Love is savored while hate passes
Nutcrackers occupy window stills and keep guard
While snowmen are perched in yards
Parents list off who has been naughty or nice
As friends become lovers and skate on the ice
Little kids make angels in the snow
Ending the night in a neat little bow
We wrap our gifts and covet the day
The jolly man with the white beard comes our way

Neurotic thoughts enter me at dusk
Warning me my time alive is dwindling
And I have nothing to display for it
My heart hammers as the rest of me loses heft
My will is drained of power
The center of attention belongs to the forlorn thoughts within my headspace
My anticipation of the future has been poisoned
My self conviction has ceased to exist
These thoughts prevent me from rest
I try to keep busy but all of me has succumbed to these notions
All I can do is wait until they pass

As long as I breathe
I will have emotions to express
Dreams to interpret
Words to write
As long as I continue
I will indulge every moment
I will eat up the scenery until only crumbs are left
I will swim in the foods I consume
As long as I exist
I will dance in the shadow of the moon
I will test my fears until my roar is heard across the universe
As long as I live
I won't let life harm my purpose

Only on the still nights can you hear our screams
The strong winds and heavy rains might keep us at a whisper
But don't let that deceive you
The false love and resentment
It's all still there
Just buried temporarily
Our emotions are misdirected
And our arguments are redundant
Yet we continue this suffering
To spare another's tenderness
Instead we dissipate our words
And continue this distorted reality

Dear boys
She doesn't have to say yes
She doesn't have to like you
She doesn't have to meet your needs
She is your equal
A human being
She has the right to look the way she wants
Smell the way she wants
Speak the way she wants
Your words don't validate her existence
Her mind and body doesn't belong to you
She does not need your harassment
Or your ***
She needs what she wants
She is your equal

I have ideas to express
I mustn't abandon them
I have dreams to uphold
I mustn't fail them
I have miles to walk in my journey
I mustn't diminish them
I have the arts to explore
I mustn't ignore them
I have words to say
I mustn't trap them
My future is approaching
I mustn't dispute it