Clouds of smoke
Swirl around my head
Like the thoughts inside:
A foggy sludge
Making mocking faces
Mimicking my ghosts

'You are a lush'
'You are a rogue'
'You are a pain in the ***'

Ashes falling to the floor
Pulling me along
Cherry red fire sizzling
Burning away my resolve

I get up
And I fall farther

Face it, said the smoke
You're no phoenix


My eyes close


I agree.

We share a relationship that exists only when the rest of the world is dreaming. It makes me wonder: is our relationship but a by-product of the overactive hormones and chemicals and imagination of the soundly sleeping world?

I am sorry if
My weary eyes threaten
Your idea of security and
Peace of mind
Those things are exactly
Exactly what they lack
They drift around book stores and
Train stations and
Grassy meadows and
Sooty avenues
Looking for what
Is unturbulent and
Understanding
Because these days my
Eyes need hands
To wipe them and
To close them and
To give them rest

I shake and stumble
Knock down cans of pens
Spilling all over my desk
Grab a purple pen
To fumblingly make a note
A better one
That you can tuck again to your corkboard
One day.

The poetry doesn't come easy lately
From the time you asked me why
In such a frustrated manner that I recoiled
It used to be so easy, you know
With the distance between us
Bridged by your crazy laugh
And my smug smile
Perhaps because poetry is not the words
But the emotions that mandate enjambments
And fill the spaces between the verses
The space is now too big
The lines too abruptly cut
That it ceases to become poetry
And it becomes emptiness.

I constantly feel cold nowadays
Because the passion that kept me sweaty
Is all gone
Or maybe because the rain won't stop
And it washes away my resolve
But your eyes are awash with the warmth
Of laughter and interest
I thought you dropped me
Like what you do with all your gym classes
Apparently you picked me up again
And to tell you the truth
You're the only thing that keeps me going
In this winter of inspiration
When I feel like all the elements are conspiring against me
And the cold is tearing through my sweater
Through my shirt
So you take my hand when you see me shiver
And you pull me into your embrace
What comforting warmth lies inside your arms
I wish I could stay in them forever
I am reluctant to leave and face the outside world
So you just smile at me and kiss me in the forehead and tell me
'There, so you could keep warm'
I'd feel okay then and prop my collar
It's freezing but I'm ready now.