Alarm clock blares
eagerly
excited to
remind me
night time
will come
again

Why can’t I have you?
      We’ve never been close
Well, some nights we get deep
       I guess I just feel you deserved it
So why not every night?
      You have friends you like to tease?
Yes
       Is it fun to you?
Sometimes
       So you enjoy jokingly suffering them?
Not when you put it that way
       Attacking their insecurities?
       Calling out their faults?
       Highlighting their flaws?
       Igniting the flames already blazing in their bodies?
       Covering up your own?
       Through laughter of another’s?
       That’s why I hide from you
       I fear you
       You’re a bully
       A punisher
       A smile’s worst enemy
       So why not every night?
       Until you use me to dream
       To seek positive change in yourself
       I will be your restless nightmare
      And I don’t need me
      As much as you do
      So I will
       I will
      Watch you suffer

I don’t want to answer the knock knock
Because they expect a who’s there
But frankly
I don’t care
I’ve met my people
Don’t need anymore
No more tears
No more anger
I have my laughter
The rest of my years
On my side of the door

This one goes out to the ones who know what I mean
The ones who sit on the pooper, let go of nothing but a scream
A holler, a yell, a desperate cry, must be a dream
A **** me, why can’t I, send one floating down the stream
The ones who have seen their self esteem
Boil down to a terrifying extreme
I pooped today, we say
Just kidding, haven’t done so in 3 or 4 days
And we wait and we wait for it to pass past our way
But the train is a freight, blocking our path through the gates
This clogging I have deep inside my *******
Is a constant pain and urge, a persistent struggle
A puzzle really, a puzzle it is to my mind
How much prune juice must I guzzle until I can **** this time?
The toilet paper waits to wipe off my ***
The pebbles and streaks after the log runs
Don’t cover your eyes or ears, ladies, we all know that you do
You can’t hide from the truth, no perfect angel praying in pews
Although the fees of the males will claim they never poo
Everyone knows you all drop some gnarly doo doos
And that, too, some food for thought, to bite off and chew
Swallow your pride, give a big ol’ high five, when you release a number 2
And back to my problems, you know, how I can’t drop a ****?
Paul Revere can even say, this one, he’s already heard
And the hurt that I flirt with, the coming close to victory
All but escapes me, sitting to ****, flowing just a ***
It *****, I will say, I will say that for sure
If I may, I will pay it, I will pay to no longer endure
This feeling inside me, the prolonged clenching of the cheeks
I tell of this issue from a heart wrenching, a remember when we
****
Every day of the week

What do you do when life gives you lemons?
Do you make lemonade?
And proceed to drink it?
Realize you didn’t put enough sugar in it?
So it puckers your cheeks and you conclude you messed up?
OR
Do you take out a Sharpie
Write something you fear on it
Something that embarasses you
Distant memory you wish to forget
Something you hate
Something you can never have
Something that tears you apart
Inside
And out
And grab that lemon
And say *******, life
And throw it
Watch it smash
Watch the sour explode everywhere
And walk away
******* up
And buy lemonade that tastes right
Because you deserve it

Slowly.
Quietly.
Almost completely
Unseen.
Barely felt.
It drips.
And drips
Into
My mind.
It consumes.
Slowly.
Dripping.
And dropping.
Slowly.
Ticking.
Then tocking.
Slowly.
It takes over.
Over and
Over.
And over again.
I try.
To find dry.
But ever so
Slowly.
It turns.
Into.
A.
Downpour.
And so it rains, it pours, all down on me
Unwilling to let up, unable to find safety
They called for skies filled with clouds overcasting
But this pain of rain is always and forever everlasting
It tiptoes on windows, a faint calming at first
Those inside seem to call it a soothing quench of thirst
But outside, in the middle, in the center, right in the ******* middle of it all
The rain falls down, and my mind consumed, from drip to drop to downpour to downfall
Others will never know, can’t comprehend how it feels
To be out here as they live the life they call ideal
They lay there and sleep in their beds of comforting sheets
As I toss and turn, sleep defeated, letting my heartbeats beat sleep
Those perfect ones, the chosen ones, the ones who fit in the norm
Will never understand why I stand in the eye of the storm.