its when im high i sit and think more.
i think sober. too much, about the wrong things.
but when i blow one to the face,
when i blow my ******* brains out
thats when people love me.
when im high and by, where no on can touch me.
thats when they love me.
why cant they get that when im down though?
when i need it most?
that loving me with your hands is so basic
when you can love me with your mind
or your heart
or your whole entire being
isnt that good enough?
thats all i want.
i sit and i press down on the skin between my bones in my hand.
deeper with each indent,
i want,
beg,
crave,
need to feel the space there and know i am a star
but all that it is is just meat, and the predator has caught my scent,
so dont waste your time to prey;
there is no prayer that can save me now from making sure these same bones end up in the ground very soon.
yes.
then everyone has to love me with their mind
and their heart
and their whole entire being.
*no one can touch me now,
no one can touch me.

im sorry i didnt mean to scare you.
dont ask so many questions
meant dont worry your pretty little head about me,
cos you know about me.
im in parkton maryland, just so you know.
just in case. youre the only one i told.
for reference sake.
i didnt mean to leave you hanging, i really didnt.
yet chances are i wouldve, only cos i know
youd judge me for being so dumb
hate me for being so numb to you
but i only want to give and get love from you
and if thats asking too much let me know,
don ever wanna make you uncomfortable.
do every ******* thing i can to make it up to you.
kiss you and your *** if it means im forgiven.
its just that, you know me,
and by no means am i a gal for safely livin.
i guess im just trying to say sorry, the best way i know how.
in another state, an hour or two away, i still managed to hurt you.
dont ask so many questions was my way of trying not to,
but im safe and im still here and as long as i am ill love you.