Did we ever understand life?
Understand why some clouds are stagnant while others are in motion?
Why the Orion’s Belt doesn’t seem to change from it’s position?
Why peace must be attained by war?
Why there’s over a billion of us but the concept of soulmate seems so futile?
Why we pray for change but want to remain the same?
Why we don’t  acknowledge each other’s differences but want to be accepted?
Why love has guidelines but no one can achieve it?
Why everyone’s so infatuated with conversations that incorporate logic when nothing makes sense?

The eyes are a reflection but only a reflection of what is disguised.
Led to believe that I am a misfortune and you are prized.
That we are of two worlds but earth is singularized.
The perception and misconception that I am an enemy to society.
An enemy that is the epitome of non-propriety.
Because the melanin in my skin is buried deep within you.
Your ancestors are my ancestors, way before the Hebrews.
They taught you to hate me, to be afraid of me because we are not of the same color.
Love is transparent, so love me like I'm see-through.
They've formed disconnections that separates us from one another but as it was in the beginning, so shall it be in the end, you are thee…though art, my brother.

I refuse to know you through a digital point of view.
I wanna see you unfiltered on the first take.
I wanna hear the first words that sprouts from your mouth that you think is a mistake.
I wanna see you before coffee in the morning.
I wanna see you when you’re having a lousy day.
I wanna see the organic flawed person that show their true feelings.
Let me see the beauty behind the mask.
Your true self.
For human sake.

Do I shoot for greatness.
Do I attain this face that is a form of entertainment.
Do I give up on the me I’m comfortable to be.
Is it a fair enough exchange of payment.
I don’t really know anymore.
I just know I don’t wanna remain like this for sure.

Dear son,
According to society...you will not be **** but it is my job to teach you how to change perspectives. While it is your mom's responsibility also, it is mostly my duty as your father to educate you on the matters of treating each human with the utmost dignity and respect. I once grew up in an environment whereby I was taught to judge and it caused me to be close-minded. However, I will not encourage the same in you. We live in a society in which women are degraded and it aches me. You should be accepting of each and every one. You should get to know them before you carry on judgment because in doing so, you'll miss out on great opportunities of learning from that person. I once stared into a woman's eyes and I seen the pain and while I wanted to fix it, I couldn't. It was present, it was causing her misery, it was despicable, but I couldn't do anything and that my son should cause you pain as a man. While we advocate for some things, we don't tend to try to comprehend the wonderful figure of a woman as a human being. So in this short message my son, you shall love every and all women. Love them all and not in the way society wants but look deeper into each and every one of their souls and while they may not understand your sympathy, you shall give it. Because in staying true to that, you will find the woman who sees your light and she will walk towards it.                                  
                              
                                                                ­                       Sincerely,
                                                      ­                                 Your mentor

I never spoke to you before.
How are you doing?
Are you feeling at home?
I’ve ignored you for so long.
I’ve never tried to grab a guitar and play you a song.
Is the temperature right?
Do I need to add some ice or turn the heater on tonight?
What’s your favorite thing or two?
I’ve been doing me but I forgot what you like to do.
How are the people around me?
Do you find them interesting or do you just like to be alone?
Because they are succulent that leave you dry as a bone?
I want to know.
Is there a place you would like to go?
Somewhere where the raindrops are like blessings when they touch your nose.
A place you can retreat and let the tears flow.
Or somewhere the sun is beaming that leaves evaporated snow.
I want to know who you are because I am confused who I am and I am lost, I’ve walked too far.
Asking for your direction.
Hello? Can you hear me?
Is this working?
Testing...testing...testing.

How could I break a heart you never even offered.
What did you exchange for mine when we made the promise?
You told me you loved me. Was that just filling my need to be pampered?
To be noticed?
To be valued?
I need an answer.
You were coating inside with enamel and I was too naive to take notes.
I’ve been fooled but is it wise for you to play a game with no prize?

You find yourself coasting through a dark ocean and nothing but still air.
There’s no enjoyment in what you feel.
Everything just filters through.
Anger isn’t anger.
Happiness isn’t happiness.
As if you are numb, even being numb doesn’t feel like a feeling at all.

Drowning your pain in that 12oz isn’t big enough for all that hurt.
And in every sip, you drink the sorrows.
And you remember the pain, you wanted to forget about tomorrow.

I slumber when there’s no peace.
When my soul is laying waiting to be reaped.
Because death is better than a living hell.
Life doesn’t tell your tale that well.
So disappear.
Dissipate.
Distant yourself from a mental state that fears the eternal darkness behind your lids.
Remember the moments.
The omen of void to your blessings and sins.

I put my fingers to this screen, pen to paper, a retrospect connecting two beings.
I paint modern Latin into charcoaled emotions. Digital inked expressions raging to be exclaimed.
A grey ball burst into a colorful mess.
I’ve finally begin to enjoy the flow of images that have been clustered inside this membrane.
Scribe my boy, scribe with the madness that has detained you for an inconceivable amount of time.
I cry as this ecstasy is so refreshing and this sorrow is so sublime.

He is here.
Be careful of him.
He whispers in my ear.
Now he is in front of me.
He places his hands on my shoulder.
He ask what my brother said.
What did he tell you to do?
To ignore me?
To despise me?
Turn around.
Face me.
I am you.
Are you scared that the devil has the same face as you?
I was never here to begin with.
I always wore the face of you.
Are you afraid?
Do you shake?
That you are capable of disaster?
That you are an evil if you let it happen?
Blaming me for all your problems?
How dare you?
Blame non-existence for your apparent actions.
Love me.
Kiss me.
Hug me.
You’ll never find happiness unless you join me like your good apparatus.
We're one.

Victimized by these crawling shadows on the hollow wall.
Breaking within to devour the limbs of the divinity.
Poised with sickening noise of the silent screams with the eye twitch that seeps a little desperate note.
Needing a tube to stay afloat over these fruitless waters.
Hands reaching to beguile the living to take a dip in.
Take a sip, learn the darkness of the tip of the cliff that leads to the scenery of abyss.
Root your heart in this dilapidated space.
That provides a tune muted with serene scarcity.

Did you place them stars in the sky?
To levitate above this thoughtless mind.
To inspire me to shine bright like a candle.
And pass the light that I dear call mine.
To give life a lasting fight.
To blow the fire out.
To ponder on it.
That there’s more beauty than sunshine in a mere paradoxical dark knight.

I declared us friends,
You were upset,
Why would you be against it?
In a world of dudes who eroticize you.
Who look at you as a being of ****** use?
A tool to lubricate theirs,
A pool to lay their waste in,
I am a fool for being in my place,
That I seen a cake that I won't taste.
I guess that makes you uncomfortable,
It wasn't my intent to make you bruise,
I don't think less of you,
But I value you,
I cherish you,
I won't let the virtue of a woman sink,
Because you are a queen,
And I am not worthy of being your king.

Chills that engulf,
Fire sign love,
Lightning in writing,
this slow aching pain,
Music that bumps,
Silent cold flames,
Pointless aiming, blaming the same.
Humans.

I pray upon the codes in time.
I beg the stars to shine for me.
To strut across the sky in recognition of my eyes.
The grey hands twirl around my spine.
Wringing me into the absence of light.

Standing in a vivid display with these sprinkling lights on your beautiful face.
The twinkling in your eyes, that lucid gaze, packed in tight with an elusive smile.
Led with assuring confidence, you wave your tides, with a concupiscent style.

Maybe I just wanna submerge in the dark demise.
Where you can no longer tell that I existed.
Maybe I just wanna soar into a black hole.
Just to be alone for a long time.
I could be me, I would be lost, I would be lonely.
But at the end of the day, I would be free.

I lay in this bed and I wonder,
How does that cold floor feel,
How does it feel to be alone,
Not knowing when your next meal is.
How cold it must feel to seek shelter under inclimate weather.
To see humans like you walk right by despising you.
How does  it feel to not have a family.
How does it feel to not get a hug.
Not getting any love.
Not even a touch.
Not even a what’s up.
How does it feel to feel so much pain but still want to stay in this wicked place.

I’m guessing whenever I feel a strong emotion I should take notes.
I don’t have much left.
I rarely feel them.
So I thought if I inscribe them, maybe they’ll be reminders.
Reminders that I still have a trace of an organism in me.
Because my world is pretty gray and even my words nowadays don’t have much expression.
You could probably see the vacancy in my face.
I find my conversations are very vague and everyone around me has a name.
And my soul is such a hollow space.
My heart has froze over.

Fighting the curtain that’s closing over my heart.
I want to continue the act.
Let the light radiate my face one more time.
I want to experience the nervousness of all eyes peering onto me.
To overcome the bubble that sits in my throat.
I want to feel the ecstatic moment when my feelings are flushed on paper.
I can’t seem to halt this momentum.
It seems my passion is hinting at a finale.

I’ve been born on the outside.
Compelled to live within.
My favorite poet said I rather give up than give in.
What message was he sending?
I can’t seem to climb back in.
I place my hands on the screen to get a better vision as if the glass ain’t clear  enough to clarify the image.
People on the television not aware of their influences because their minds are trapped inside a prison.
So I rather die than to give in.
Oh...I totally forgot that there’s no one to listen.

These streams of water are displaced,
A river that flows, knows no direction.
Unaware of it’s state, it pours as if my brain is a cloud and the more pain I taste, the more it rains.
My breath becomes shallow, my heart hollow, I skip over oxygen, drowning in my own disaster.
The pen shakes as I am lost in definition of these earthly concepts. However, my fingers as if of their own consciousness, copies and paste.
I say unto it, “will you continue to write my dying words, when the love you’ve given me, would be lost in return?”

There's a pressure in the side of my head,
The water that swooshes and drills the walls,
The pumping of erosion,
The lining that swells,
An ocean of hurting,
a river of death,
It is pulsing, combusting inside my big little head.

Do clouds contain the tears I weep?
Is that why we have the salted sea?
That forms a creek beneath my feet.
Do my memories rise above my mind.
Floating upward towards the sky.
Falling downwards to intrude my life.
To place it’s burdens on the other side.

The fireflies appear in my sleep.
In black and white with a kaleidoscope scheme.
The staticky canvas such a sight to see.
With lights and forms of a parasitic scene.
I suppose it was all a dream?
I suppose when I close my eyes, I look for hope, a night that please.

I’m so obsessed with my past,
So I neglect my future,
Staring at *****,
Staring at taillights,
So I don’t get ran over,
Chauffeured around staring at these lights,
But refuse to take the steering to steer my life,
Afraid of strife,
Afraid I stand,
On a road I planned,
But so obsessed I am with my past,
I walked away.

Coming out of this mood emotionally,
Praying devotionally,
Couldn't sell myself because I'm soul-lessly cheap.
A token for my innonence, repented my sins again,
Sinister events, waving my pennant so grant me my wish,
Make me a kid, cause I disapporove of my independence,
This intelligence was a propaganda,
These moments aren't sensible,
This status isn't credible,
I'll take cents over the million views,
So help me get through,
The evaporation of my presence.

I’ve slithered into your ear,
I’ve found your nest,
Your eggs seem rotten,
Clean your lair,
There’s gunk on the wall,
You left remains on the floor,
It’s so cluttered in here,
Why do you need this?
This is useless,
Get rid of that,
There’s no need for two,
You’ve caged it,
Why save it?
It’s dead,
You seem to be confused,
Should you choose it,
You shall lose me,
Maybe you should,
Just let me go.
Stake your vote.

I came before your petals had bloom.
The grass would assume that I watered your flowers.
I wasn’t responsible for that.
You found some way to deep aqua from the underground as naturally unsual it may be.
I just had my face in hand as your jasmine flowers grew.
As you became an astonishing woman.
A woman beyond measurable clue.
What are you?
An abundance of love.
A presumably undoublty covenant in the hope that you remain that angel that inspired me to be.
To be more than rain from above, showering with a day that you remain in your shell.
Remain unkept.
Dwell on the moments that the psyche doesn’t intercept.
We’ve normalized retracement.
Idolized the impact of a non-profitable commitment and I’m not one.
I’m not a human that strives on the wave.
I’ve bounced, I’ve danced, ive denied the logics but the population remains unsaved.
But I am with you.
I’ve been in loneliness but you’ve broken through.

I am a vessel for y’all to share.
A vessel of dark clouds and lightning air.
A testing of humankind.
To teach the gods about a human’s mind.

These sinister looks paving the way to the underworld.
I silence the crowd of the untold.
They whisper amongst themselves a despicable gesture.
Quiet the noise that’s been ventured unto the ears of *******.
A passage I’ve create for the free minds of rebellion.
A light, a year, they will acknowledge.
That the star of their earth had biblical knowledge that they didn’t follow.

I feel your exponential face,
It was so eloquent,
It shivered the leaves that fell from my reach,
Those kindle speeches you gave,
A whisper from everyhwere,
In silence you were there,
You blew your heavenly kiss,
An enigma you are,
There's pictures of you and I on a wall,
Traveling the world,
In different dresses,
They are such a sight to see,
But sometimes the disasters you bring,
Kills me,
I will always love you,
Because I will bloom again from a new.

How genuine of you to only think of my value in a transactional view.
As we debate on the topic of generosity, strolling along the lines of what the attributes of an authentic person is according to the confused world’s unstable dictionary.
It’s simple you see, you see digital scriptures that explain the indicators of what such would appear as and we all forgot our own flaws, the construct of what makes up human beings and it is sickening to watch.
It is the most despicable traits that are being championed.

Their blood cover the concrete sheets.
Their face down to kiss their ancestors.
They whisper, nothing has changed since you left yonder.
The chains still are shackled.
The pain you felt are still stacked on my shoulders.
I suffer like you, giving my life with no closure.
The metal whip becomes harder to bear.
And our effort of showings is still a process to share.
I play hide and seek.
Because I pray for now, that my soul and the Lord wait to meet.

I want to be like the wind.
You cannot cut it.
You cannot contain it.
You cannot stop it.
You cannot hurt it.
It is nothing.
It is everything.
It just exist.

I commence the blank of your mind,
To clear the swarm of tides,
The scribbles that seeped its way inside,
That beam through your gray eyes,
That creeps on the floor and sit at your window,
Ready to jump,
Making last calls,
Beginning to lose it all,
So you may die,
And begin to live a new life.

I have the information you need.
But you walk by me.
Not noticing my face.
I am just another random.
A needless human being.
I can speak.
I can teach.
But I look as if I contain insignificant speech.
You reach beyond your vision.
See me in the your side mirror.
I am filling.
Not as empty as this game makes me out to be.
I wanna talk to you.
I want my point of view to come across to you.
You just rather keep going along but you’ve missed a valuable moment and now you’re stuck in the loop because you’ve ran passed me.

May nature stand tall,
The trees rejoice,
The clouds swing in a linear swirl,
Spirits that are distant,
Coexisting in an ill-mannered purity,
With no significance with what knowledge has been attained.
Knowledge is a desire to be endlessly insane.

Oh let me out, it says.
Oh let me spread like a Phoenix Fire.
Let me dance outside.
Let me inspire.
I’m clusterphobic.
I’m in one room with no bed.
Let me out, it cries.
Let me get a glimpse of outside.
See the sun rise.
See it fall.
See it all.
Stop keeping me inside your head.

This is a poem for the ones who need meaning.
The ones who request me to dig deeper into my feelings.
To please their souls that thirst for quenching.
To appease their spirits that’s never rested.

I’ve become selfish with my poems.
I’ve started not to care about the quality of them.
“That’s so beautiful” they would say.
Now I just want it to be unappreciated.
I don’t care for the oohs and awes.
Those are the times when I would write for others.
Now I write for myself.
This a ugly mess relating to only me.
To write about how I truly feel.
To care not what others think.
Like it or love it.
It’s no longer significant.
The long extended detail poems are contrary to how I feel now.
A man of few words.
The words I know are no longer adequate.
I am depressed and I never knew that poetry wouldn’t be enough to describe my situation.
It’s made me selfish. I don’t care to explain.
I just reluctantly strive to get over this ****.

I’m so confused about this world.
In my head, it’s burning with the invisible flames and the matters of concern isn’t so beneficial to the earth who has formed a pact with humanity, in which we humbly don’t deserve.
We churn the molten lava that scorches the dirt.
The rivers that overfloweth is the cleansing of our actions that have negative impact on the land so the watery mountains climb above our heads and imposes it’s own sanctions.
The once cooling wind became a scythe of disaster and it blows in a twirling direction because we’ve failed the moral inspection, the natural laws we have broken and described it as progressive evolution but we are primitive beings that are naive.
We closed our eyes for a long time.
We see but we are blind.
Imprisoned on the outside because the inside is not a thing we try to adjust.
We combust, reactive to the moments that are insignificant.
Practicing soulless desires to confide in to complete our attire but we are forever naked.
Forever afraid that the psyche is too strong but who controls it all?
Is it God?
Is there such a thing to call?
It is beneath you, above you, it is all.
Remember.

What are you waiting for?
A spear to your heart with the tip soaked in my poison?
Deliverance of an an ointment that covers the wounds you committed?
Piece together your pieces that you’ve scrambled to make you more interesting?
That’s not my fault that you’re so pinteresting.
If you thought that your actions are your own and praised the disagreement between us was a blessing then you wouldn’t be so incessant on finding love. Cause you’re as toxic as the proximity of a bomb that is stepped upon in a community of thugs. Telling you to risk your life so they may go home to their love.

Experiments checked to see if thee are worthy of heaven.
No heaven sent, no intrusion to your testing.
We must watch, calculate, observe your human behaviors.
You must show us that you are worthy of no damnation.
Placed you on Earth, named you worthless so you may create purpose.
Oh we are not certain if you are going to survive but strive human strive for your day in your heaven.

I play blackjack in the dark,
With my counter,
As I watch the clock,
He sounds the notion,
Reminds me I am hypnotized by it,
So I place my head back down,
Staring at my hand,
Lost in this...
Lost in this...
Lost in...
I lost track of my mind.

I’m not familiar with these words,
Paints a red image of bloodied lust,
A beating of drums,
A river coarse that tunnels with ecstasy,
Glittering with fairy like dust in the dungeon,
A potion of serenity,
Created from the unlimited fountain,
Shaken with a professor’s touch,
Pitted on electrical buds,
Sending the current to mainframe,
Such a combustion,
Oh I drinketh too much.

Your name sits so elegantly on thy tongue,
But amnesia has strucked,
The hazelnut stirred coffee skin,
The gold strings,
Your soul piercers,
A display of your taste,
I can’t recall much,
The scene stop existing,
It was a reduced outline,
The melody silenced,
I listened to your song,
I gazed at the notes,
I followed the patterns,
I grasped the  staffs of your existence,
I consumed your procaine,
I pronounced the letters,
But I forgot your name.

I’ve risen from the pits of the black and grey lines that thwarted my compositions.
Weaving through this muster that left a stench to my soul.
Awaken from the rumbles of the machine.
No longer will I devote.