Blinding, Stabbing, Constant
All consuming
It aches, it lingers
Always hovers in the background
Never leaves your awareness
Haunting
Makes you yearn
Your eyes burn
You gasp for breath
Fleeting feelings of warmth
Cold emptiness is forever your companion
Makes you awkward in company
Feel comfort when you are alone
You want to wallow
.......give in to despair

I can see you in my thoughts
Feel you in my dreams
Scent you on the breeze
Your voice echoes in my ears
Your taste lingers on my lips
My body aches
I am always waiting
Chasing phantoms
Hoping
Looking
Never finding
Why are you always just beyond my reach?

Creeping darkness surrounds me
slowly incing forward
And I stand in the midst of it
Desperately searching for a way out
A bony hand surges forwad
clutching at my ankle,
digging deep into my skin
I shiver in fear
And begin the futile attempt to pry it off
The darkness is still closing in
And the overwhelming sound of soul aching screams
echo in my ears
Can no one hear me dying?

Strange, empty
filled
overflowing
       floating...
...disconnected

The deepest pit of darkness
it dwells inside me
An empty void
draining away all I have to offer
Or so I tell myself
What lives inside this desolate being
screaming to get out
What flower grows
but remains trapped in its small ***
doomed to be strangled by its own roots
It all wants to crawl out
To see the light of day
It doesn't want to die
screaming in the dark
I can't hear my own voice
I'm drowning in my own emotion
Choking on my own thoughts
I'm slowly destroying myself
working from the inside out
It all seems so hopeless sometimes
So incredibly ****** up I can't even begin to see the end
I feel all mangled inside
Like my soul has been shredded
and is barely just pulling itself together
Why does it take so long to heal
To get over these emotional scars
I wish it would just go away
Why can't things just stay buried
hidden within the darkest recesses of our souls
slumbering memories repressed into a state of psuedo forgetfulness
If this could be done....
.....I wouldn't drown