if I scream my rage at the heavens,
will a star burn brighter for it?
will the gods look below themselves,
and pity my mortality and the sincerity of my dismay?
when will the day come where my rage will age into oblivion,
and grow tired of the havoc it wreaks on my life?
why are my days so filled with despair and strife?
will the forces of nature see me for who I really am,
a man seeking the feeling of happiness?
all I can do is shout my wrath at the sky
and hope that when I lay my woes to rest and die,
that the vast nothingness of death will be kinder to me than life ever was

every second
of every day
I wonder to myself why it has to be this way
my heart keeps beating because that's all it knows to do
what do I have to do to keep my thoughts from you
every second
of everyday
I think myself into dismay
if my sadness is my madness then I've gone insane
I do this on a daily, my form of demented prayer
wishing you would actually care
ever second
of everyday
I stare at my reflection and contemplate
why I'm so depressed
the answer is simple:
you were always my source of distress
but you always did look so beautiful in your summer dress
tell me that when you said you would never come back,
tell me that was never true
please
I miss you

Rest in peace my self esteem
I'v lost the courage to chase those dreams
Memories of days past, lines blurring, they went by so **** fast
When you wonder about life, about the grand scheme behind it
you try to find it, define it,
make sense of the senseless
what can I create from nothing
I guess I'm bluffing when I say something sincere
like that there's sentient life far away, we're talking light years
all I can really do is adhere to the rules, tell people about my high school
reminisce and wish things were the way they used to be
I just wanna be free, go out and see what's out there
go to the fair, play with your hair, stop and stare at those eyes
how could I ever lie about what you meant to me
your mind and soul were nearly as vast as the sea to me
I wanted to dive deep, be a creep and know all there is about you
but what can I do now that you're gone
I feel so alone, staying at home, afraid of the unknown
I still checked my cracked phone for texts from you
the last words I'd ever see were etched onto a headstone, gravestone, can I atone for what I did with this precious stone?
No.
Because you're gone and that's that.
I can shout that I miss you,
wish I'd kissed you harder

please

just one more dance?

just let me inside your mind
where I will try so hard to find
what hurt you
you changed a lot
something you won't admit to
things change, ripe with pain
from heartbreaks to days full of clouds and rain
hopping from puddle to puddle
splashing, smashing any hopes for my future
trying to remember life before me and you
these puddles muddle my memory
a history so explicitly a part of me
pools of water, puddles, turn to mirrors
inside your heart's interior
the cause of your pain, the rain on your parade
it was me
I was so set on trying to open your mind
looking for reasons
so blind this whole time
I committed a crime, judged by you who are so divine to me
I though I had built you a shrine
"Let me in" I shouted to you
but this place was all too familiar
I'd been here before
and I don't deserve to ever go back

when we first met we were awkward
you said you were hard to talk to
and I said don’t worry it’s me and not you
we both shuffled our feet, stared at the street
glanced up and down, constantly turning around
until you said to me
“do you ever have so many things to say,
but never the heart to say them?”
I looked you in the eyes, suppressing my surprise
at that moment, I knew you’d be my demise
to be honest, it all started with you
and with you it would end too
when you left that cold December night
after we had a bad fight
“why don’t you ever show me what you feel”
and I whispered, my voice full of fright, holding my fist tight
my pulse moving fast, memories racing past
“I never had the heart to"