all people have demons
that attempt to reduce
and conquer them

i am no different and
each morning I stand
and face my own

my demons are special
known only to me
and  tailored to know my weaknesses

where the knife cuts
where a soft word wounds
and festers

sometimes they score straight to the heart
questioning not only my abilities
but the personal relationships with those i love

no one loves me
i am pitied
does he really know anything?

the fight can be subtle.
as it gnaws on the insecurities
and internal perceptions of me

the **** things make me feel alone
an alone that moves with me
hiding the people that care

do you know what it feels
to think people don’t care?
that you’re unimportant?

such are the thoughts of mine
when defenses are down
and i’m feeling weak

many times i fight the good fight
killing such thoughts
with laughter or anger

valiant or not
i do not always win
fear that they are right creep inside me

the real struggle begins
real versus imagined
a fight between selves

long fight or short
nasty or not
i come out ahead

i have to fight back
for there is to much at stake
to let them win

Something Precious

something precious is difficult to find
by its very nature it hides from you
without regard to the needs and wants of you

ironically it wants the same from you
searching on paths different from yours
perhaps meeting but not recognizing

so walk you must
taking the path laid out before you
looking for that promise of something precious

it is not of money or gems
or gold and platinum
for this is priceless

for some the search can be long
while others find it short
but for me it has seemed never ending

but found i did
that one thing that makes complete
my own personal world

what else could bring such joy
and provide the anchor for my soul
but your friendship of course

As with most storms, they begin small
Clouds of various shapes pile on
Seemingly out of nowhere
The rain starts and the wind howls
As you watch the seas rise
Fear tickles into conscientiousness
Imaginations run wild
For you are alone cast upon a rock
Waves crash around you
Can you survive this?
Do you want to survive this tempest?
Loneliness creeps
Ever creeps into your mind
As the waves go higher and higher
What gods caused this?
You scream at them!
Fury unbound!
You wave your fists at the storm
What did I do?
Punching at rain
Pushing at the waves
Throwing yourself at the wind
Screaming for it stop
Still you stand on the rock
Pummeled from all sides
Rain continually falls with the sadness of ages
Wind tears across with the fury of fear
And the waves continue their relentless assault
The storm pounding you
Telling you to submit
Yet you still stand on your rock
Screaming defiance still.
You are alive
Through the might of the storm
You are alive
The rock has held you
Above the might and terror
This storm has caused.
You feel a new sensation
As you realize you are safe
And more than just being alive
The storm didn't beat you
The rock kept you safe
Through your fear
And mental torture
You have come out into sunshine
Bruised and battered from the fury
The storm tries again
But your back is turned
You have decided
It is time
To end the beating
The mental struggle
Which took over the life
And soul
You can stand
Stronger
Prouder
Of the person you are
The beautiful being
Striving to come out
To find the happiness that truly only resides inside
For the rock
On which you stand
Is you