Night time is the worst times to write

My dreams are blocked

Instead I lay, absorbing everything like a camera.

I hear the crickets chirp

Feel the cool trickle of the water pouring from the water spout

I have the inevitable passion to just get up and run

Run from all the past thoughts and memories

Run to a quiet place that is too loud to bear because some times silence has the highest decibel

I want to jump and be swallowed by a sea of fire

Anywhere is better than here

Anyone is better than you

And anytime before that night I was happy

what the hell is wrong with me
What have I become
IM NOT READY ?
Seriously ...
I blame this on a curse
On a love that is burning
On a what if
Two years ____
You've given two years
You waited
You waisted
She's not coming back
How'd it feel
Show empathy
Show empathy
Show empathy
You've been there
Why am I doing this to another soul
You've been there
Not in tears, but In a ****** knuckle stoop,
Of rage, and pain, and lies
OH THE LIES
she didn't lie to you
But you to her


You were, was, are the best thing that has ever happens to me.
Two years is a blink of an eye

I love you like a classic car.
I admire your smell and beauty
Your sound and movement
But I can only love from afar

NO! **** THAT

You are mine
You are mine
I will wait for the day we align
I will wait for the day we are porch kids
For the day we are porch parents
For the day we are porch grand parents

So for eternity we will share
Coffee and laughs
Cigarettes and tears
Tender love and passionate fights

                     Till the day
                            We will have
                                        Eternity .....

I used to believe the cure for cancer was encrypted in your words.

I've grown to learn that you are the cancer.

and your words, only doing collateral damage- destruction of my cells, my being.

irreversible sickness

ill

my judgement clouded with pictures of you

bad things always look the best

I loved what I thought you were & what you taught me.

I do not believe that people who are sane love the illness.

I am sane.

I don't love the sickness.