People change,
Feelings fade,
Lovers drift,
Friends leave,
Friends become enemies,
Lovers become strangers

It is up to you if you want to buy a ticket and take the ride or watch from the sidelines,
I haven't been home in a week,
My best friend snorts lines even though his pulse is already weak,
Brothers will look at their older sisters for a peak,
Mothers will leave fathers because they tweak

I do not blink

It is midnight now and I will get kicked out of this bar at half passed three because some ******* will try to spike some innocent girl's drink and I do not choose to stand for it

Yes, I bought this ticket,
Yes, I chose to ride with this,
Will you ride with me or will you take nothing seriously,
Seriously, this is getting old and I need a break,
The Earth is ******* and we will leave as soon as this is over,
He is ******* and he will leave as soon as it is over,
The second she looks over her shoulder she will become broken,
The second he looks down on her, he will forget her name

Yes, it is midnight now and the world will cease,
Yes, it is midnight now and I cannot breathe

Too little torment for those who deserve it,
Too much torment for those who never asked for it

You, never asked for it,
He, never asked for it,
She, never asked for it,
We, we never asked for it

However we bought the ticket and we are taking the ride,
None of this will stop for as long as we can handle it,
And when the time comes when none of us can handle this,
We will end it

Here, drink this,
Here, smoke this,
Here is my heart, I want you to break it until I can no longer feel it

This is all a warzone and we will bleed this until we can no longer feel it

In conclusion,
Will you wait,
Or will you buy the ticket

June 1st, 1997
You come out in what feels like a blaze of glory,
There is what seems to be the sun above you,
There is what feels to be the ground beneath you,
Everything is loud and bright, and you're screaming as loud as you possibly can, because there is nothing that will stop you

October 20th, 2001
Your big sister asks you what you want to be for Halloween this year,
You exclaim loud and boldly, "Daddy!"
You see him as a hero,
A man that can do literally anything and everything,
You put your blanket on your back and run around, pretending that you are daddy and not even superman can stop you
You scream as loud as you can because there is nothing that will stop you

November 15th, 2003
You're used to mommy and daddy clapping at each other, but this time is different,
You hear mommy yelling at daddy,
You distinctly hear her scream, "Your children need you more than I do, please do this for them, at the very least!"
You see daddy walk out of the front door with a few bags in his hands,
She kept screaming it as loud as she could, but nothing could stop him

June 1st, 2010
Your father has been vacant from your life for years, and you've gotten passed the idea by now,
Your mother still cries herself to sleep,
The amount of times she told you that she'd never be able to find a man like your father almost outweighs the amount of times you wish you had the chance to see him again,
Maybe to say hello, or maybe to scream at him
No amount of screaming will stop someone, but it especially won't stop your father,
You know this,
He at least could come to see her when she's back in there,
When she's hooked up to all of those machines that are pumping her full of the life she didn't even want at that point because all of the life she once had was taken away when your father left,
I hope he's happy with her

May 22nd, 2012
Your mother is getting bad again and your father is too busy away on a honeymoon with the woman he left your mother for,
The doctors don't really have anything great to say, other than, "We're doing the best we can, we know she'll beat it, we just know it."

January 18th, 2014
Your father hasn't talked to your mother since her first hospital visit,
Your mother is in stage 4 of cancer, and no amount of screaming will make your father come back, and no amount of screaming will stop the cancer from taking what little is left of your mother

June 1st, 2016
This is your first birthday without your mother,
You're hanging pictures of her in your new apartment,
Your father calls you, but no amount of screaming at him will make you feel justified,
This is not his fault, but the least he could've done was be there for his children, you never needed him as much as your mother did, but he still could've at least been there

September 30th, 2016
You wake up in what feels like a blaze of glory,
The sun is above you,
The ground is beneath you,
Your father calls,
He asks if you want to get breakfast,

He spends the next hour and a half screaming to you about how sorry he is, about how it was his fault, that he should've been there when you all needed him,
But no amount of screaming will change this

No amount of screaming has ever stopped anything

I find myself going 95 on the interstate,
I find myself weaving in and out and in and out of traffic,
I find myself feeling almost as untouchable as I felt when I was with you -- almost

Untouchable,
I always loved the way you made me feel untouchable,
You always loved the way he made you feel touchable,
For the first time in a long time there was a man in your life who wouldn't hesitate to be everything you needed,
The sad part is that you thought you needed him,
The man, the one three times your age, who made you feel worth something, the man who gave you feeling,
The one who abused you for years, making you feel touchable all over the place,
Is not a man at all, I promise,
We don't call animals like that men

You were a beautifully broken masterpiece and all I did when trying to pick up your pieces was cut myself,
The taste of my blood was never as bitter as the cheap wine you snuck from your father's fridge,
Thinking maybe if you got drunk enough, you wouldn't hear the voices or feel them coming for your neck,
Thinking maybe, just maybe, the alcohol would fill your bloodstream so full that you would fall asleep and never wake up again, because every morning when you woke up, you saw him,
You woke up with his arms and hands all over you, and he wouldn't let go

For months you crawled over and under my skin, picking at each scrape and scar, trying to find a reason why everything was the way that it was, but you never found it

Much like our love, you never found it,
Like your head, you never found it,
Like them, you never found them,
Like me, you never found me, even though I was looking right at you the entire time

Like them, they'll find me in an explosion of fire, flipping my car down the interstate, weaving in and out and in and out of traffic, taking everyone and everything down with me

The feeling of a rush I used to get just by waiting to pick you up from your house, to the crash I feel when I'm coming down in my room,
The difference between **** and you is that when I breathe the smoke in, it hurts a hell of a lot less than your carbon dioxide ever did

You took everyone and everything down with you,
You taught me to do the same, I learned this all from you

For the first time in a long time, I do not miss you

Ice cold,
Heart's stole,
The feeling's dry on the riverbank

You're gone,
I'm worn,
There's only you to thank

Tired and dragged on,
Sleeping on the thought of you,
My body's cold,
It's missing you

Playing notes on a keyboard,
Singing loud,
Playing loud,
My eyes are sore

Can't eat,
Can't dream,
Having nightmares

Seeing you,
Feeling you,
It was all new to me

You hide,
I breathe,
And I count to three

It's perfectly okay, I'm afraid, too

I could start fires with what I feel for you

It's early and bright out,
The sun swallowed me,
It ate me up and spit me out

Nowadays, all there is is remembering,
No more looking forward,
All there is is looking back,
The air is thin and it beats the air that I am standing on with a bat,
Her air is full of love and goodbyes,
There is no point in saying hellos

What about her?
Does she make you happy?
Her lips folded over yours and the smell of alcohol, a stench, dripping into every single one of your thoughts,
Intoxicating you until you cannot see straight,
Her hands, around your neck until you cannot breathe,
The smoke, filling your lungs until you cannot breathe

I cannot breathe, unless I am breathing her in,
I cannot see straight, unless I am seeing her,
All of this, everything, for her, never for me

It's not worth it,
It's not worth it,
It's not worth it

Beating my heart until it is broken,
Tripping on my shoe laces like they were never tied to begin with,
We were never tied to begin with, I promise

This will be hard, I promise,
You won't be able to stop the shaking, I promise,
I will never leave you, I promise,
Every promise I make, I will break, I promise

I cannot see you anymore, in other worlds, I cannot see straight anymore
I cannot breathe you in anymore, in other words, I cannot breathe anymore

Still, everything I do, I do it for you, even if I won't want to

I promise

Sleepy eyelids,
Fall into slumber,
Fall into the dark,
Fall into my arms,
Fall into my heart

You were so wonderful,
Everything about the way you were,
It was all so wonderful

As perfect as a spiderweb,
You worked so hard to build your spiderweb,
Pacing and repairing the wounds carefully, hoping maybe this time it would stay,
Hoping maybe this time he would stay

They never seemed to,
They were always mean, too,
You held your head high, but they always kept you so low,
Maybe it's better if we do this thing.. solo,
Maybe it's better this way,
Maybe it was better that I didn't stay,
I held you so high,
I swear I never would've let you slip, although it wasn't my time to get a grip,
It was known since the day I loved you,
This would never last and eventually I wouldn't even know you

This is the worst because I can still hear you,
I can still feel you,
Your long brown hair being twirled in my fingertips,
Your mouth, a loaded gun, pointed straight into mine,
When I go back in my mind, when I pull the trigger, all that comes out is flowers,
It's like all of this was made in the dirt of my mind to begin with,
A perfect angel, heaven sent, with a gown of gold and a crown of rose,
Nothing hurts,
Nothing hates you,

I can still see you, I can still look into your eyes,
I can still see that silly little grin you always made when we cracked stupid jokes at one another,
I can still see the tears falling helplessly from your eyes,
I can still feel your fast heartbeat, panicking whilst your body collapsed into mine,
They were always after you,
I hope they never caught up,
I tried my best to keep them occupied, I promise,
I will always love you, I promise
Nothing knows love like you do,
Nothing hates you

You packed your bags and left a letter in the back of my mind,
You never kissed me goodbye,
You left without even telling me,
It's been months, but I'm still too scared to open that letter,
I'm too scared to know why,
I'm too scared to understand,
I'd rather stay drugged up in your absence,
It's better for me this way,
It's better this way,
Maybe if I keep telling myself this, it'll make sense to me,
You never seemed to make sense to me,
Maybe that's why I was so in love with you,
Maybe I'm just rambling now, I'm just running circles around you,
The feeling is familiar; you always ran circles in my head
I could run circles for weeks, I would still feel nothing,
Nothing hates you

I haven't heard from you since back then,
Just know that I'd rather you be alive than dead,
I just hope, to you, I'm not dead

In the hole you left, there is nothing now,
Nothing hates you, but I cannot

Spiraling drastically in a kamikaze daydream,
Beatles crawling up my neck,
The needle crawling across a Beatles record,
They were your favorite,
For the record, I've never felt so hollow

I just need to let it go,
I just need to let it snow,
******* white, ghostly shadow,
Trust me, you'd never want to know,

Nothing without a struggle,
Everything with a broken backbone,
Hearing your voice for the first time in months was more comforting than anything,
You were so powerful, you could do anything

Good evening,
Miss Misery,
I've come knocking on your door again,
You were and always will be the only thing most comforting,

Like a broken record,
I miss you,
I miss you,
I miss you,

Cracks and creases hold no scars,
Foggy windows on cold winter nights hold no bars,
But what do I know?
All I am is chasing cars

You never ran me over,
You went right through me

You can't **** what's already dead,
In other words,
We didn't lasted long