I went to the store. Trying to find something that catches my eye. Didn't find a book or a dvd. Then I started heading to the candy section. Looking at them. I was in the middle of the aisle. Couldn't decide which one I wanted to get. I heard something and I looked to my left and I saw you walk into the aisle. Your cute nerdy look caught my attention. You started walking towards me. Then I realized that you had to stock up the candy. I took a step back. "Sorry," I said. You looked at me and said, "Sorry." I smiled a little. I left the aisle. Went back towards the books. Looked around again for a bit. Didn't find one. Started heading to the registers and the doors. You were heading the same way at the same time. We almost walked into one another again. "Sorry," we both said. Bought a bottle of Coca-Cola and a Reese's. Started heading to the door. You were going to start stocking the shelf by the door. We almost walked into one another yet again. "Sorry," we both said again. Made it outside. You were stocking. I stopped and looked back at you. I smiled and made a decision. The next time I unexpectedly find you, I'm going to ask you out.

I never thought that I would be writing a Dear Jane letter. I was pretty sure that I would be on the receiving end of them. But never writing one. Thinking about you. Trying to write the letter in my mind. Listening to love songs. Feeling my feelings. Not wanting the songs to affect my thoughts and writing. I see your face in my mind. This is going to hurt you and I am sorry. But it might be the best thing for us.

I've blinded myself. Into believing. Believing in the unattainable. Believing that I could get the unattainable. I saw someone I want to be with. I saw the person as perfect. I didn't see beyond the person I saw. I didn't try to look under where the person resides. And I was so completely into her person I saw that I didn't even try to look beyond. The signs and sight were there in front of me and I didn't "see" because I thought I could make a small difference. But now my thoughts are being torn into two. I see and feel it as one way. Then the other side of seeing and feeling is completely opposite of what I originally thought of. And as I think of it, the separating in my mind is getting stronger. The doubt about it (everything) is flooding my mind. And I don't think I could go back to the original way I thought of. I don't know what I'm thinking of, I don't know what to think about it, I don't know how to feel about it, I don't know what to do about it either.

Can I be blind still or will I get my sight back?
Will I be one again or always be in two?

Preface: Don't know what I'm going to write. Don't know what I'm going to say (or end up saying).

I feel the feelings that I have about you. I really like you and I really like seeing you. I felt energy go through us when we held each other, when held hands. I like holding you. I think about you and I feel a smile on my face. Every time. I totally want to see you again. I want to be with you. I hope we get together again soon. I hope I see you again. (Laying it all down for you.) Please tell me what you think. What you feel.

The woman I love is out there somewhere.

I went to where we went slightly panicking and nervous. Went in. Thought I was going to see you. Didn't. Went out and remembered where you parked. Started walking to then I started running to it. The lot was empty. Your car wasn't there. Turned around to look around. Didn't see your car anywhere. Started walking. Thinking about you, hoping you are alright. Missing you. Hoping I see you soon.

As I listen to this song, I feel emotional and a little sad. The strings sound sad as well. I am emotionally swept into the song. I feel it in my heart. I dwell upon the sweeping movement of the song. It stays with me. The song and the feelings. I hear the song when it's not even playing. Then the feelings come back to me. (I really like the song; don't get me wrong. It's one of my favorites. Maybe the emotional feelings I feel are the aftermath and not the intention.) And as I listen to it, I think about you. You said, "This is our song. The longing and the emotions and the sweeping feelings is how we feel towards one another. I hear it in the song. Do you?" Listened to it more. "I do hear it. I do feel that way. This is our song." You smiled so sweetly.

We're having conversations at four a.m. in the morning. Both kind of conversations. The deep personal ones and the totally random ones. I like both. It's such a good way to start the day. Talking to you about anything that is on our minds. It makes me feel like we are so close to one another when we talk. I keep seeing you in my mind when we talk. I look out the window into the darkness of the early morning thinking of you. And I see in my mind that you do the same.

I think about you. A lot. When I think about you, I find myself writing; writing about you. The things we've done together. The things I imagine we could do together. Even some of my dreams about you. And as I was thinking and writing about you. I realized that you are my muse. You are the one who inspires my thoughts, my dreams, writing, and my one wish [you]. You inspire me with everything you do. My Muse.

I replay the day we spent together in my mind. I replay what we said to one another. I think of you and I smile at the memory. I even still smell your sweet perfume you wore. Looking at you. "You are special. Please know that," I told you. To my ears I sounded like I was begging you to know. I saw a little smile on your face. "So are you," you said. I hugged you and kissed the top of your head. We parted. Looked at one another. We were looking at each other.  I knew at that moment; I want to see you again.

I was getting lost in your face. I was feeling my feelings about you. Your eyes held me. Your smile made my love of you even more. I felt my heart beat as I was looking at you. You have my heart in your hand.

Reading in bed. Looking at my phone at every paragraph. Seeing the green light being solid, but I want to see it flash to know I have a message from you. Looking at it, thinking of you while I'm waiting for you to message me.

Part One:
I think about you and I write. I've rewritten this (the following) letter a few times. And I've always been on the verge of sending this to you every time I write it. But the reason I didn't send it is because I don't know how you're going to react to it. I'm fine thinking it. I'm fine saying it. But I'm nervous about how you're going to react. Nervous about what you're going to think about it. Nervous about what you're going to say about it. Say the word and I will send it. Say nothing and I won't. I'll keep it to myself forever.

Part Two:
My Dear [  ],

I'm thinking about you. I can't stop thinking about you. Being with you is the best thing in my life. It might be too early to think and say those things, but I can't help it. I feel it. I feel that way.

I want to be there with you. But the memory of you must hold me over until I see you again. Until then.
I find you so beautiful. Inside and out. I love your smile. When we were together, I am so into you. I am captivated by you. I keep looking at you.

I like you. I deeply care about you. The surprise I got you is your summer vanillas berry perfume and a sketch book with pencils, colored pencils.

You are special. You have a special place in my heart. I want you in my life. Even if we only see each other once in a while. I'll take it and it would mean a lot to me. More than anything. Oh and I do have a secret to tell you. I love you, [  ]. I belong to you. Heart, body, and soul.
Yours,

Part Three:
. . .

I'm trying to think and figure out something to say to you about what I feel about you. I like you. I deeply care about you. I hope you're doing okay. I just don't want me to say that every time I talk to you. The surprise I got you is your summer vanillas berry perfume and a sketch book with pencils, colored pencils. I want you in my life. Even if we only see each other once in a while. I'll take it and it would mean a lot to me. More than anything. Oh and I do have a secret. I love you, [  ]. I don't know what else to say to you.

You dwell in my heart. You are who my heart yearns for. You are the one that my heart has seek for. You are who my heart holds. You are who my heart beats for. You are the one my heart feels for. You are who my heart belongs to. I heart everything about you. You have a special place in my heart. You are my heart.

I’m thinking about you,
I really enjoyed being with you,
I felt myself falling for you,
I’m compelled by you,
In my mind I see you,
I hold you,
I belong to you,
I have words I need to say to you,
I’m here for you,
I feel my heart beating for you,
I see a wonderful special lovely in you,
I you,
I can wait forever for you,
I love you.

Am I letting my emotions overtake me? When I try to write I can't write and all I see in my mind is you (not that's a bad thing). I think about us but I also think about what you told me. It's like I listened to you but at the same time I think it's possible for us to be together.
I know the reality and the gravity of the words you told me but the emotional romantic part of me believes in us and believes that love will be for us. And when I try to tell you this, it's like my brain goes on "mute" for the words I should/shouldn't say to you. I think about the words you told me I understand why you told me them. But I still believe in us and in love for us. Somehow.

You asked me for a secret. I couldn't think of one at the moment. A week past. Kept thinking about you. Kept thinking about you. Then I suddenly had the secret, you wanted to know, come into my mind. I wrote it down. The secret you want to know. I don't know if I should read it to you or let you read it yourself. I don't know what to do. Should I even mention it to you or should I not tell you at all. I have to see what I'm going to do when I see you again. If you or I even mention the word, "Secret"; I am going to tell you my secret.

You are so beautiful. I was immediately emotionally and love struck by you. I like you right away. I kept looking at you in silence. Of course you noticed. You smiled knowingly at my obvious love struck silence. "What's on your mind?" you asked. I was silent. Looking at you. Your smile widened. After a minute of me not talking, the words finally came out of me. "I'm in love with you." Your smile melted my heart.

What does your heart feel? What does your heart dream? What are your heart thoughts? What is in your heart? You are everything my heart feels and dreams.

I think about you. I know we're not together at the moment. But know you go with my love.

My Dear N[      ],
I'm thinking about you. I miss you. I found myself falling in love with you. I want to be there with you. But the memory of you must hold me over until I see you again. Until then.
I found you so beautiful. I love your smile. When we were together I am so into you. I am captivated by you. I keep looking at you and I feel my love for you. I almost told you that. Along every time I thought about kissing you. You are special. You have a special place in my heart. But one thing is certain I belong to you. Heart, body, and soul.

Yours, R

I'm thinking about you. I miss you. I liked seeing you. I liked seeing you smile. Sitting next to you. We held hands for a moment. Electric. I felt. Looking in your brown eyes. I got lost in your eyes, in your face. I almost leaned in to kiss you at every moment. But sitting there, being with you felt right. And I hope we get to do that again soon. Because I miss you.

When we see one another, it's always nice to see you smile. I see a wonderfully enchanting look on your face when I sing when you hear me and to you. I feel the words every time but especially when I sing them to you and I see by the look in your pretty face, you feel the same.

You're sweet. You're sweet to look at. You're sweet to be with. We're sweet to and for one another. I like being with your sweetness. I'm sweet on you. You are sweet.

I fell in love with you. I feel it when I see you. I feel it when I'm near you. The moment when I fell for you was when you gave me an undeniably cute look. I knew after that moment that I'm yours.

When I see you, I can only look on in love. I want to hold you. When you reach out for my hand, I was shaking. When our fingers touched my shaking stopped. And as I held your hand the feelings that I felt were flooding me. And as I looked at you, you mean more to me than anything.

I'm effected by you; by your beauty. I'm drawn to you. You are so lovely. When I'm near you, you become my world; you are my world. I like seeing you smile. Your beauty expands when I see you smile. You encompass me. I get lost when I see you. You are something to behold. You are the someone I love.

I was living a lonely life. I didn't have anyone special in my life. I went to work just like a regular typical ordinary day. And after I walked in. I saw you standing there. Our eyes met. You were looking beyond beautiful. I saw a little smile appeared on your beautiful face. Your smile made you glow. And I was captivated. Then we started being "together". And suddenly I was feeling love when I saw you; when we're "together". But there was something else inside (just besides) the beauty. I saw the inner beauty that you possess. And I felt the love for you both in inner beauty and beauty.

I'm thinking about you. I reflect on you and I smile. I like your smile. You are pretty and lovely. You are special to me. I needed to tell you that.

I was thinking about you, about our date. I wasn’t feeling nervous at all. I was doing just fine. Then at 12:30 I thought about you and the nervousness started coming to me. It wasn’t as bad as before, but I knew that in time that nervousness would appear. I started listening to my music. Romantic songs. The nervousness was growing stronger. Then I put on the theme songs from Power Rangers and suddenly the nervousness was leaving. Getting excited about our date. Started heading to it. About five minutes away, the nervousness came back to me. I started walking through the location by where our date is. I felt myself rushing to it. To see you. Forced myself to slow down a little. Try to catch my breath. Caught it when I approached the door. Walked in and got a table. Exhaled. Waited for you; for our date to begin. Feeling slightly nervous on the day of about our meeting and our date.

I was taking a walk. Thinking of you. We're going to meet. I thought to myself, my life is like a romantic drama film. We talked then we were going to meet and have our date, but you couldn't make it. And yet I still waited. Now time has past and you're in my mind again. We got back in touch and now we're actually going to meet and have our date. Just like in a film which the couple try to be together, but they're separated for some time. Then they get together. I hope we get our happy ending.

I'm thinking about you, N. We're going to meet. Will we like one another straight off? I don't know. I hope so; I hope we do. I don't know what's going to happen. When I told my friends about you and they got excited for me. But I didn't tell them everything I know about you because they didn't ask me. But I think about your situation and I think we could get past it. Some people might tell me "Don't." "Go find someone else." I don't think I could do that. Unless it really doesn't work out between us. But when we talk; I send you a message. And the nervousness hits me after I send it. Then I'm shaking a little as I wait for you to reply. But after you reply I try to think of something else to say, and I'm suddenly hit with writer's block. That mixed with my nervousness about you isn't good for me at all. "Forget about her past and embrace her." a friend told me. And as I think about you, I'm willing to do that, N.

P.S. I wonder what you would say if I told you this.

I still want to see you. I still want to go on a date with you. I still want our date. I am still wanting to see you even after these few years. I still want to see what's going to happen between us. I still want to talk to you more than we have done before. I still wait for you; for us to meet. I still hope the meeting moment for us comes soon. I still want. I still wait. Still.

I think about our time together and I smile. Being with you is a pleasure. I enjoy your company. When I'm with you, I feel an astounding amount of feelings that I know of and aware of especially around you. And when I look into your eyes, I see happiness.

You are the one.
You are the one I think of.
You are the one that I have in my heart.
When I'm with you, you show me you are wonderful.
You show me you are beautiful, cute, adorable.
You shine.
You sparkle.
You light up my day every time I see you.
You are.
You have.
You are and have my love because you.
That's what I love about you.

We met. I kept looking at you. Your simple beauty is drawing me in. We glance at one another. The brief moments of your beauty strikes me every time. And I hold onto those moments between us. The moments reside in my heart. With each moment the love I feel fills my heart. And when I finally told you that I love you; your beauty radiant beyond anything I've ever seen. And it dawned on me, I will always love you.

Is something I like. It ranks up there with Coca-Cola. I always put them together. No matter how far one is away from another. I get them and I'm happy. I focus on them. But when you even walk in my view the pizza and Coca-Cola, that brings me such joy, is left there untouched as I look at you. Then when you depart my view my attention goes back to the pizza and Coca-Cola. But when you are in front of me, I could only focus on you.

What can I say to you? How do I say the words I feel about you? When can the words come out of me? When at what moment shall I tell you? Do you already know how I feel about you? If I say the words to you, what are you going to say back? Can I? Shall I? Will I? Say the words?

I miss you. I try to see you, but I can't ever find you. When I go around hoping you're there, just waiting; wanting to see me. I feel a yearning in my heart for you. When I don't see you, it's there. But when I don't see you and I dwell on it then I really feel the yearning for you. I only hope I see you and hope seeing you takes away from the yearning I feel.

I find myself thinking about you. When I see you, I keep looking at you. Your beauty and cuteness adds to the loveliness that you are and possess. When you smile, you light up every time. I feel my love for you every day. I feel it more when I see you. You are the beautiful one that I adore. I belong to you.

I'm thinking about you.
You are so beautiful. You are so lovely.
I like you right away.
I'm a lovestruck boy.
I like you.
Here I am.
For you.

Listening to I Want You and F.E.E.L.I.N.G.C.A.L.L.E.D.L.O.V.E.. Looking at you. "I feel like we are in the middle of these two Pulp songs," I told you.
You said, "I feel the same." Then you teased and asked me, "If you had any words you wanted to say to me, but was too scared to say them."
"No," I said. "I'm not scared to tell you." Then you waited for me to say the words. Your look prompted me. I told you, "I like you." The smile on your face was my treasure.

There's a woman. Who is pretty. She's remarkable. She is a vision of loveliness. I get weak in my knees when she smiles at me. When she gently touches my hand I feel an overflowing swelling of energy and emotions flooding me. And the way she looks at me with such gentle eyes; I feel I belong to her for the rest of my life because I love her.

She.
She is inspiring.
She is amazing.
She is lovely and beautiful.
I love she.
She.
She is everything to me.
She has my heart.
She knows it.
She.

I'm thinking about you. You mean a lot to me. And when we're together in all our moments, I feel my love for you. When I see you, our togetherness is wonderful. Something I cherish. And I see in your pretty face you feel the same.

I see a lone woman. She's standing there alone. She's so beautiful. She's waiting. Our eyes meet. I see bright eyes. I see a radiant smile. I've fallen in love with her. Went to her. She's waiting for me.

There is a woman that I love. I know her. She knows me. We see each other. When we're together I'm too shy to tell her of my feelings, but as we spend time my love for her grows every time. I love everything about her. The way she acts. The way she moves. The way she looks. As I feel my heart beat for her every time she's near the love engulfs me. I feel all these things. I feel all these emotions. I feel all these feelings. But I'm shy to let her know how I feel about her because I have no idea what her feelings are for me. Sometimes I see a longing looking in her face as if she is waiting for me to tell her exactly how I feel, but I carry on with this unrequited love that I have for her.

In the way we are together; I see you, looking beautiful. The smile on your face makes my love for you even more so, and I just wanted to let you know that.

I want to see you again. I like being with you. You always make my day when I see you. You are lovely inside and out. When I'm with you I get shy about what I want to say to you. What I really want to say to you. And each moment we spend together is drawing it out. Drawing it out of me. For you to finally hear. The words I need to say to you. I like you.