Start with the unknown,
A first time at something new.
One little taste won't matter.
Will it?
One time.
Just a try,
Just because she has a craving
For something
To preoccupy her mind.
What's the harm in that?
Months later,
Habits are clear.
Ribs show.
Pills spill across the counter.
Cuts etch sorrow into her skin.
Music screams about someone else's problems,
As she tries to forget her own.
She can no longer help herself.
She can no longer stop.
When did 'just one time'
Become every day?
When did 'just wanting to try'
Become a routine part of her life?
Years later,
Problems still haven't stopped.
In fact,
They've only escalated.
Arguments seep through a cracked door,
Louder than ever.
Taunts still echo in her head,
Stronger than ever.
Clothes still don't seem to fit.
Once too tight, now too baggy.
Stress still pounds at the door.
Once too much,
Still too much.
No music is loud enough
To drown out all the shouts.
No drug is strong enough
To take away all the pain.
No pang of hunger is depriving enough
To satiate her dissatisfaction.
No cut is deep enough
To carve out the problems
That envelope her life.
So tangled up in distraction,
So distracted from her problems,
That it was too late.
Her 'just one time' decision
Has become a fixation.
*An addiction.