I stack my pillows up high
before I sleep at night
so my dreams have a fortress
where only a lone knight
can conquer, to rid my dreams
their unfortunate plight
before I wake up in tears
in the break of a sunrise.

I am jealous of who
you think of at night
because I think of you

yet in my dreams
you are in constant flight.

Our stars may shine
at different times

the constellations
we form, may not
be aligned

but in hopes
and dreams, we
coincide.

I catch a glimpse
Our eyes meet halfway
My heart races
As I lose my senses

In the abyss of my mind
I hope I will find
That we never can be
More of what others could see.

you wrote me letters on leaves,
i wrote mine on paper
both of the same origins,
of the same tree

as you wrote,
the leaves fell slowly
and wilted
while i kept mine
hidden between books

i’ve kept your love
from the start,
while yours decayed
and left to rot.

our song plays
in an infinite loop
poetry fixed with melody
set in orchestration
with our emotions

but no—
our song plays endlessly
but it stops and pauses
with breaks for breaths
and i may not have
counted the times
it played over
in my head

but i do know
that nothing is infinite.

i flip our book
over and over
looking for answers
and for lines i may have missed

some words i've highlighted
some i read in smaller font
some italicized, a ring of importance
in an otherwise simple word

faster and faster
i flip the pages
no answer
nothing

no plot
just words
incoherent, meant
for our minds to bend
we have to start writing.

i made you a card
the only words inside are
“i love you and i’m sorry”

it would mean so much to me
if you could receive it
because you’d understand,
and gather my pieces while
everyone sees me whole

but i don’t know where you are
and heaven doesn't accept cards
unless i send them to you myself

i’ll pray for you, ma
happy mother’s day.

when i find refuge
only in dreams,
where i run from reality
before i could blink
wake me up before
i turn into
a nightmare.

be still
until you feel the air
gently caressing
the nape of your neck

close your eyes
because no one else
will hurt you, there
is nothing more to resist

just listen
silence has a voice,
it is the loud ringing
when your ears
try to escape the void

breathe in
breathe out
do it again

put the blade down.

I went to the beach
with our memories
in mind

I took a dip
so its ashes
may sink in
sea water

and the fishes
would eat the
bitter ends left of
our love

but our memories
bathed me wholly--

and I went home
soaked in tears.

we only take what we can
and return where we started
like ants stealing our sweets,
we consume the marrow
of this earth

we come back for more
in the hopes to acquire
the sweetness we worked hard for
often times, we are stopped,
mid-track, holding on to sweetness
or to nothing at all—

leaving behind what we have
or who we are, as the sweets
that people behind us
would stumble upon.

your eyes were blue
and i drowned deep

it started as a drizzle
then became a puddle
until it was big enough
to form a whirlpool
taking in all of me
i sank in a tidal wave
of who i was before you--

and i didn't die
i was reincarnated
after your tears
brought me back to life.

they say a picture
tells a thousand words…

if you see my smile
captured in a candid moment
with eyelashes batted
in a second
would you see the sadness
behind the smile?
how my lips are pursed
after the click?
how in my mind,
i have to keep smiling
so you’d think i’m happy?

you’ll never see
everything with just a picture
but you can write everything
behind a smile.

what do the stars
have to do with our love?

do the stars know
how our hearts beat?
do the stars
lose their senses
in a simple touch?
a stolen glance?
a faint whisper?

when they align
they will never be
as beautiful as the
invisible outlines
i’ve made on your skin

i love you
and an infinite number
of celestial bodies
can never compare.

**** the love
out of a person
and you’re left
with a mind that
acts based on
pure reason
and no intuition.

you showed me love
for thirty days
i gave you
my heart in eight

these numbers
don't actually mean anything

but with you gone
it's all i have
worth remembering.

in a way
two writers
who fall in love
plagiarize
each other—

because they see love
with the same eyes
that made them see
each other, then
they write about it.

there are things
that many would do
to complete your puzzle,
make you whole, thinking
that by picking up the pieces
you’d be better again.

little do they know
that the only
thing missing from you
is yourself.

you pull out
flowers like
they’re weeds
and they die
on your release

while i thrive
on stale air
waiting, where
you left me—
                hanging.

--too blunt
to hurt like bullets
but when fired
in all directions
I’m the only one
who gets hit
and it hurts.

I’m still as broken as I used to be
trusting in promises that meant so much
to my ears your lies were poetry
for I believed that a heart
can love only once

I thought that I was enough
I thought that I’d forget you in time—

even if love blooms from wilted flowers
I still see no promise in spring.

you, saying my name
is one of the reasons
i get up in the morning
and the only reason
i have to sleep at night.