Dream big! Reach for the Stars! The world is your oyster!
The worth of a woman is measured by the size of her dreams, not her dress
Independent, validated, empowered, accomplished, worldly
more than a man
more than others
more than herself
she is her dreams

Well, of course I like chocolate, *****
But I'm waking up and realizing that my dream could involve falling asleep next to this man

No, Grandma, he is not a pastor
but he makes me believe in God
he maketh me lie down in Green Pastures
completely different than the city sidewalks that I wanted to own like a Runway
now I'm okay with wearing flat shoes and cotton flower dresses
while still vocalizing what I want as a woman because ******* he actually wants to hear it

There is no valley of death here
this is not the valley of death
I am not bereaving myself
I am becoming myself

If I said it was perfect I wouldn't be taking it seriously
For example, he's so terrible at planning things
But he makes up for it by making me plan things that I never knew I wanted for myself

You think you have it all figured out and then someone comes along and they like the way that your hair curls even when you haven't washed it
And you can't help but wonder why

This Is A Love Like the Wind but not the kind that blows you away
This is a love that determines weather patterns
Like that butterfly who ***** his wings in Baltimore
and it causes a tornado in Topeka

Your ship is built to sail through life
And then you invite them on board just for a little while
because your quarters are cramped and you don't have a lot of money or items to trade and barter
And surprise!  There's a storm they help you weather through
And you look around and suddenly you have all the space in the world for them

Date someone who says you're beautiful when you first wake up in the morning
Did someone who makes you cry... Tears of happiness
Did someone who looks at you like Brazilians look at Beyonce
Well ****.  I got all of this and I got a man who makes me feel calm
He makes my neurotic *** feel calm
Like I can fall asleep while God floods the Earth and I'll wake up to a rainbow and a dove

Your dreams are not currency
The best part about them is that you get to determine the value
Nothing is lost until you say it is
Nothing is gained until you say it is
The world is my oyster? Well I hate oysters.
But that won't stop me from making a ******* pearl necklace

He went from stone to telling me he loves me in his sleep
And I couldn't look into his eyes until recently because it meant that I had to accept my own mortality
Not because he's going to **** me
But because I'll never truly know what's on the other side
They're blue and that's all I know and it keeps me starving and satisfied and scared and safe
He's my safe space. The kind that ****** off our baby boomer parents
He'll call you by your preferred pronouns. He'll celebrate your womanhood. He is the painting session that's offered instead of the midterm exam
My only worry with him is that my hair is frizzy and my lipstick is faded
I don't even worry about his roommate hating me when I visit because of our sighing and the bed squeaking
I'm at a place in my life where I wonder how high I can go at this point but if he is my anchor, the view is just fine
If he is my anchor, I'm not drowning at all
If he is my anchor, he'll lift me higher because he likes that I'm tall

Do you know what time it is?

Is it springtime?  It tastes like springtime in every word I wish I could say to you, but I choke on petals and potting soil in the meantime.

Is it Sunday morning?  It tastes like Sunday morning every time I speak your ancient name that led me out of Egypt.

Is it naptime?  It feels like naptime in every toss and turn I take, even though when we lay down, we don’t usually rest.

Do you know what time it is?

You don’t wear a watch.  But if you did, it would probably be a Casio watch.  Because you’re subdued and kind of smokey and there’s nothing shiny about you

Until you laugh from the pit of your stomach and I feel like I’m home.

You don’t wear a watch.  And I’m glad because it shows off your arms more.  You don’t need to cover them up and you actually don’t need to cover anything up, ever.

Wait.  Is it naked time?  

Do you know what time it is?  

Is it dinner time?  Like the time when you smeared barbecue sauce on my face and got away with it?

Is it wintertime?  You make me feel kind of warm inside.

Is it bedtime?  Because even though your eyes are the color of ice and your spine is made of steel and your biceps feel like bricks, you are the softest and gentlest person there is.  

I’m afraid that the clock will strike twelve and you’ll see that I’m just a maid in rags who has mice for friends.  And that I am actually not a princess.  

I’m just a girl with a funny name who has completely lost track of the time.

i used to be real tough.

i killed the spiders.  i’d scream ****** ****** while doing it but i’d **** them with my bare hands wrapped around a can of raid.

my pillows took the punches of my powerless days.  i showed my mirror the pride of my powerful ones.  

and my days were measured in buying the dress because it was ten dollars.  and not buying the dress because it was ten dollars.

and then you showed up.  

and you told me that my smile was a million dollars.  

and then i melted all over the ******* floor.

****.  what is happening to me?  i’m breaking out in a cold sweat.

somebody give me a bill to pay.  give me a meal to cook with only three usable ingredients.  give me a life insurance policy to read and a car title to transfer.  

me?  a million dollars?  wow....you really thi—SHUT UP

you need to shut up. with your biceps and your goofy cowlick.  

because i have a meeting to go to.  i have deadlines to meet.

and even though you called me a princess and no one has ever called me that before because i’m too big and tall and clumsy and loud and weird looking

hearing you say that made me want to be held, made me want to make you a nice dinner, made me want to wear a pretty dress and tell you about my most powerful and powerless days as you wrap your arms around me

me!!!

who used to be real tough

I. Midas

i like to look at your picture because it reminds me that you are just a man

your hands have handed me horseradish and hard liquor and you’re about as chatty as the women on the view but it's great because i'm totally into this view

and ohio was gray until out of the blue, you touched me and i turned to gold

---

II. Indianapolis

i want to rage so hard in this life

i want to be so exhausted from living that i don’t even have the urge to fight back on my death bed

and i’ll be too worn out to walk into heaven that the angels will have to carry me in

only to have peter push me through the drop door and i’ll plummet straight into purgatory

which i’m convinced is the state of indiana

where there’s inexplicable construction funded by taxes from the four people who live there

inconveniencing all the rest of us who are just passing through

peeing in your roadside wallpapered bathrooms and marveling at your cows of many colors

the loudest noise in indiana is probably me screaming

it’s like each telephone pole took two days off my life

but i lived it.  if driving through indiana meant giving life a chance, fine.  i found a vegan restaurant in indianapolis and i got lost in indianapolis and i hated the fact that i got overwhelmed in indianapolis

but god put it there.  so while the angels escort me towards the drop door, my legs will be too sore from LIVING my LIFE and i can turn around and look at peter and say have fun standing in the same place on your stupid pink cloud and before i know it i’ll land with a thud in a truck stop on I-70W surrounded by billboards advertising breakfasts and best westerns

it’s a bird, it’s a plane, it’s his hands, it’s his name

that drags you into the game and drives you insane

he’s the stillness of a summer day in the backseat of your chevrolet

he’s red white and blue, what you could sink your teeth into

he’s the notes you pass discreetly in the church pew

the flush in your face when you think of his grace

though your socks, shirts, and keys are all over the place

your toes grip the edge of the diving board

and time will tell if you end up getting bored

of wet hair and burnt skin before you find another pool to jump in

sneaking out the back door, waking up and wanting more

wondering what the hell you’re keeping it a secret for

school’s out, you’re an open book

the shades are off for a second look

at a report card of your failing grades

and the map you carved in his shoulder blades

you’re two halves that don’t fit the whole

may god have mercy upon your soul

i’ve found my peace in the pieces of pennsylvania

underneath blue collar crowns and in the reflection of pittsburgh plate glass

and in the dark damp basements where i got really drunk

in the homes where the men from the mills raised their families

i can still hear my television technician telling me that i’m a good girl

and he made me believe it.  in my bedtime prayers and in my sunday best, i believed it with all my heart

which i followed down route 22 and into centre county

where the amazing grace of a mifflin county man saved a wretch like me

and i spent last summer on a soul sister’s bed as the sun set over the susquehanna valley

i found treasure in pennsylvania and i never even had to pick up a shovel

i just had to pick up

the interstate was a pearly gate into being born again.

pennsylvania still waits for me and saves a place at her table

and no matter how many miles or mistakes i make, i’ll have my television technician and my soul sister and my heaven-sent kevin

i’ll have pittsburgh plate glass and the public broadcasting service

i’ll have blue collar crowns and all american towns but not enough money for the homecoming gown

but that’s okay.  pennsylvania thinks i’m pretty anyway.