I sometimes watch a setting sun in your honor.
Reminds me you favor orange and look best in red.
The mingling of those colors will always be you.
I cannot brush my copper hair and not think of you.
I cannot watch my cherried cigarette burn and not think of you.
I cannot wait for it to turn black, for that's when I miss you the most.
Burnt out and extinguished like the feelings I had for you.
Untangled and smoothed so we can both feel relief.
But when you've got skin warm like sand and a smile like the sun,
I can't help but wish for those colors to stay.
You're a beach I could lounge by for a lifetime.
I'm still getting over the idea of everyone loving it, too.
Tall girls like forests of green, small girls littering fields like streams.
All the other places I've yet to be, because I'm stuck at this beach.
Watching you set over and over again.
I don't want to leave because I'm not ready yet.
I'll let my hair tangle.
I'll let my smokes go stale.
I'll let my eyes be shut by the blinding light you are.
But I will keep you close in those sunsets.
Because *******, I've never seen someone burn so beautifully.

I don't know how it feels to have the color bleeding from my eyes
Seeing the fires through the highs
Having the chills and getting by
through the night just long enough to see straight again.
Stumble back to a tent, say a prayer, resounding amen
That you'll wake in the morning with some enlightenment
on the adventures last night and what you thought they meant.
I don't know how it feels to see a girl you love cry
Feeling sorry for herself and the downward demise
Of the love and the lullabies
that you used to hum to her through muffled sheets.
You kiss her face, stroke her hair and find your own peace.
Both drifting into dreams.
That heavy sleep.
I don't know how it feels to be left high and dry
Your directions discredited and thrown aside
You're back by the fire staring at the sky,
And I know it's been weeks
since you've really felt your heart beat.
Just stuck on repeat,
sitting in defeat.

He's the color of my coffee and his lips are like ***.
You've got a warmth like sand, a smile like the sun.
He runs me around, I'm too extactic; too dumb.
You keep me grounded, yet on my toes. Light; let me run.
He drowns me with waves; gritting teeth and splitting gums.
You help me grow, but remind me struggling is half the fun.
He is an ocean, once calm, I've turned violent and numb.
You're a beach I can sink my toes into, you give me life, and I've begun.

Cracking sunflower seeds between rigid teeth
Swigging beers through pursed lips
Inhaling menthol cigarettes with tired lungs and a tight rib cage
          I'm left not knowing the difference between your exhales and sighs
I could say that times like these will brand my memory forever
Salt and shells will never taste the same
          my teeth are left weak from clenching when you're in pain
Alcohol will never completely flow through
          my inebriation is always accompanied by you
Cigarettes still consume me and nearly smother
          as you're asking to *** one, and I'm lighting one off the other
I could tell you when small talks lead to deep moments littered with empty bags and condensation, that I am the happiest I have ever been.
I could tell you these things when there was us.
Picking and choosing which seeds to take from the same pile, fingers interlaced, losing count of drinks and who gave the last smoke to who...
But here we are and us is lost
          our night ends when there are no more smokes to share
Menthol still burns through most of our air
          our drunkeness calls for sleep and warm clothes
We'll both get sick and keep the other close
          our appetites and muddled minds both soothed and still
Eating and conversation so easily a thrill
My mind is numb from how these moments keep recurring
          I know you're hiding sighs inside of exhaling smoke
Us meant that I could soothe that stammered breathing and those bruised ribs, because us meant you curling into me while you slept through it all
Us meant that it didn't matter how much we'd had to drink, because us meant the other would be there to make it all seem okay
Us meant that we could eat together, and smoke together, and sleep together, and love each other, and kiss, and smile, and laugh, and just be.
Us meant a lot of things, but us isn't what we are anymore.
It's just we.
We're still passing off sunflower seeds and just barely touching hands
We're still drinking from the same beer bottle
We're still sharing cigarettes
We're still catching the other smiling in our direction for no reason at all.