I will not remember that you are gone
I will choose to forget.
Get lost in memories,
Daydreams,
Places we have walked.
Feeling you just behind me
I will turn and smile.
I will send postcards and letters,
Ask if you are well.
Fill silences at red
Lights, bus stops,
3am
With your voices,
Stories,
And the things we once laughed at.
I will reach for your hand,
As I did as a child
And know it is just out of reach,
Just out of sight.
Pretend you are lost again
As you always were
Call your name
Have it echo back.
I will not write you an epitaph
Or ever say goodbye –
Just count the days until I join you
And promise not to cry