I am at the point
Where I question my existance
I am at the point
Where I loose faith in life
I am at the point
Where alone is my only feeling
I am at the point
Where insecurity is clouding all my judgement
I am at the point
Where I don't know why I keep going
I am at the point
Where I question my worth
I am at the point
Where friends begin to hate me
I am at the point
Where my only thought is
*What's the point?

I've found I write best
When I have something to say
A story to tell
To the world
But what if
The world
Beat the story right out me?

I was told to stop writing.
To cease the flow of my words on paper with pen.
I was told to take a break.
To force my thoughts behind a wall
Like a dam forced to hold the waves of Niagara Falls
I was told to end my voice
My opinions
My views
Because they were distracting
Inconvenient
They kept me from where I needed to be
But you're wrong
My words
My thoughts
My opinions
Are the bricks in the road to take me where I'm going
And where I'm going, is precisely where I need to be
My fears will guide my footsteps and my beliefs will aid my judgement
My opinions will open up doors and my views will break down walls.
To stop my words and thoughts would be to bottle the oceans.
No matter the effort
Or the time
It can never be done.
I was told to stop my words
But more importantly?
I was told to fight for what I want
For what is right
And what I want, what is right,
Is a river full of words

an origin, a stepping stone, a place where we begin
a place where he's in love with her
a place where she loves with him

An origin, a stepping stone, a place where we begin
a place where love's games won't be played
a place where both can win

an origin, a stepping stone, a place where we begin
a place where  hands are memorized
by the love they feel within

An origin, a stepping stone, a place where we will end
a place where love is a sacred gift
when it starts with your best friend

An origin, a stepping stone, a place where we will end
a place with only good things found
and he's down on one knee bend

An origin, a stepping stone, a place where we will end
where endless years of happiness
came from loving your best friend

And here I stand with me by you
With eyes and face turned down
With judging eyes you watch me now
As my heart screams without sound
Look skin deep and you see here
Black hair and piercing eyes
But deep within a girl in white
Fights Death with sword at side
She stands alone, both bruised and cut
At Hades’ Gates of Black
She stands alone as demons screech
The World’s weight on her back.
As she glares, eyes hard with hate
Back hunched from battles passed
She weakly stumbles one step forth
As Death looks down and laughs
For promised Death and epic war
A strong, unyielding fight
And laugh he did, a gritty sound
At the Raven girl in White
Purposely she raised her sword
Hate blackened both her eyes
Fearless, she watched Death descend
From his fiery throne on high.
He stares at her a curious watch
His skin a blackened pitch
His thoughtful eyes a burning red,
His tail a deadly whip
She leaps at him with all her might,
Gives her sword a mighty swing
Her blade mere inches from the face
Of death’s almighty king.
Though he was huge, he was not slow
But rather swift and quick
As Hades knocks the Raven down
When his tail gave a flick
But up she jumps, our Raven Girl
Standing clean and pure in white
Again she lifts her mighty sword
And prepares herself to fight.
This time she waits for Death to strike
She holds a stance of strength
As she stares down at his tail
Expecting pain from its strong length.
Death watched her gaze fall on his whip
Not watching for his fist
He raised a fire on him palms
As her face his hot hand kissed
She backwards fell with piercing cry
As tears ran down her face
She heard Death laugh a lively sound
Her eyes now hatred laced
That sound alone would spur her on
As she jumped up to her feet
And climbed up rocks to reach his height
Her sword and Death would meet
Death stood shocked and well surprised
Her strike could not be dodged
With force and great precision
Hilt deep her sword was lodged.
Though not enough, for Death, you see
By strength alone can’t die
As Death rose to his feet again,
She fell to her knees and cried
She cried for all the demons fought
Those battles she had won
And now the war she’s come to face
Is a war that’s never done
She cried for the endless mess
Her life had come to be
She looked around at only black
Her dress the only white to see.
She looked at Death who looked quite proud
The war was won by he
And she looked down at her once-white dress
Turning blacker than the sea
The black had reach above her waist
Above the placement of her belt
She cried as she thought of countless times
People offered her their help
Looking down, her once white dress
Almost all consumed in black
When from above an angel falls
With wings upon his back
His face was pure and childlike
His hair a silver white
With clothes of only heaven’s gold
He descends from deadly heights
With loving look and not a word
He grabs the Raven’s hand
Her black dress slowly fades to gray
As he brings her up to stand
She looks again down at her dress
And it’s neither black nor white
A charcoal gray fading up to pure
As they both prepare to fight.
Determination poured off them,
Pure and proud and strong
The Angel and the Raven smirked
Like a loud triumphant song
Together those two raised their swords
And sank them in his skin
And together stepped back from the spot
Where they killed the Reign of Sin
Again she checked her flowing dress
To see a curious new site
Her dress was bottom rimmed in gold
The rest charcoal mixed in white
The Angel grabbed her by the waist
And looked once to wear Death fell
As he flew his beloved Raven
And he took the girl from Hell.

This is heaven?
It rains here everyday.
Some believe it’s to wash away sin,
But I know better.
It’s because you’re not here.
It’s because I have to spend forever watching you,
Loving you,
Wanting you,
Needing you,
But never touching you.
I want to hold you.
I want to run my fingers through your hair,
I want to memorize your face and know your thoughts.
I miss the feel of your head on my shoulder and you lips in my hair.
I miss your arms around my waist and your hand in mine.
My God it hurts.
I cry here. Daily.
I sob from my love for you and how unfair it is.
It’s not fair!
I can see you are hurting and I can’t stop the pain.
Oh my God I hate it here.
I would rather burn in flames to spend a single day with you than quietly sit in the cleansing rain.
No, not cleansing, I know better.
I’m causing the rain.
So know when you’re caught in the rain it’s me holding you at night.
It’s my hand through your hair and my lips on your cheek.
It’s me showing you what I can no longer say to you.
These are the words he found on a folded sheet
As he was walking the street where he was last with her.
Anger still flares in him when he thinks of the crash.
How dare she leave him like that!
They were both hit by the living ***** driving that car,
But she was the one that had to go.
Why not he?
On the side of the road, a cross marks her last breath.
Her name is forever carved in the aging wood.
In front of the cross like a welcome mat was her folded goodbye.
He screamed at the note and cursed the author.
Despite what he wanted, he could not bring himself to tear the sheet.
Weeks went by without a sign from her again.
Everyday he would check his cross for another word.
On the day of her 20th year, he went the place where she lay.
Kneeling before the flowers that lay in the wake of mourners past, he beat the ground.
Screaming in rage, his ****** fists dented the grassy bed.
Soon, rage turned to pain,
Screams turned to tears,
Fists of grass turned to fists pulling hair by the roots.
Hours passed before he noticed the liquid ice pounding on his back.
Jumping to his feet he screamed at the clouds.
The rain mixed with his tears.
Quietly, the words “it rains here” entered his mind,
Gaining volume, he remembered the letter he found.
He pulled it from his pocket with a shaky breath.
In the wind he could almost hear her saying “it’s my hand in your hair and it’s my lips on your cheek”
Tears filled his eyes as the wind began to pick up, sounding like breathing lungs.
He could feel it with every cell in his body as it chilled him to his bones.
Softly and cold as ice, he could feel her lips on his cheek.
Looking everywhere for the face of his love, he saw a note on her grave.
Slowly sinking to his knees, he read:
Let go of me now,
It no longer rains here.
It will never be fair, but our anger will not bring me back.
I still miss my head on your lap when we read in the sun
And the sound of your voice as you sang to me.
I will never forget the way your hair looked in the sun or how your eyes would shine with love.
I will love you till the end of times, and then I will love you after that.
From this moment on, my hands are no longer the rain, nor are my lips cold.
From this moment on, I will be in every smile you smile or see.
I will be in every happy thought and I will comfort you when they are sad.
My hands are the wind through your hair and my lips are the sun on your skin.
Let my love for you outweigh your fears
And know that one day,
I will see you again.